When should I consider dating again?

[Positivethinking]

My husband of 19 years professed to me in October 2006 that he no longer "loved me." He moved out Yesterday. I believe he is going through a mid life crisis but he wants the whole thing over. We already have met with a mediator and have our next meeting this week.
I don't know if there is hope but in the meantime, I feel like I should move on. I beleive that will help me in my healing. Not sexually, mind you, but a relationship with a guy.
Any thoughts?

 

[overit]

Well, I will tell you what you will hear most likely, and that is that most believe you should absolutely not date while separated.

I happen to believe it is ok, BUT, it's about timing. For some of us, our divorce takes 1-2yrs, I believe a person should be free to date in that case.

THat being said, your breakup is very recent, you say he might be having a midlife crisis, he JUST moved out so I don't think it would be smart at all. Is there a chance you guys will reconcile? when my ex and I split, I was absolutely POSITIVE there would never be reconciliation, and I didn't start dating until about 6 mo later. At that nothing serious.

I think honestly all you would be doing is masking your despair, pain w/seeing somebody and that isnt' what you need right now. i would recommend to start counseling right away, see if your church offers a divorcecare course, spend time with your family and friends and in prayer. Get some good books regarding your situation and take time to do things that will help you feel good, but I would suggest to hold off on dating for a bit. Again, I dont' believe it's inherently wrong if you are waiting on a decree, but you guys haven't even filed yet, he just moved out 24hrs ago, so I don't believe it's a good idea.

 

[tryingtobeagain]

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation.

Every person is different in when they feel like they are ready to move on. Be smart about it, feel out your emotions and don't jump into anything. I don't know your personal situation but it sounds like things might not have been good for a while and you may just be looking to feel loved. It's a good idea to surround yourself with positive people and talking will help alot.

I've been separated for about 4 of my 7 month marriage. The other three months were just constant fighting and although I didn't know it at the time, lots of adultery. My husband has never been faithful to me in our relationship and I find it hard to believe that I am still married legally to him. I am still healing and know that I'm not ready to date but I'm lonely and I've found that a few great friends have really helped me through those lonely times. My girlfriends have had healing poetry nights and stayed with me and I have 2 male friends who have stayed up to ridiculious hours to talk, hold, and comfort me (thanks Flan, cause you know you are one of them). Everyone tells me I should move on and I agree that sometime I will be ready, I even met a great guy and had a friendly conversation with him and when he asked for contact info I played it off. I saw him again and all my friends were saying "go talk to him" and I couldn't. That just lets me know that I have to follow my instincts and that I'm not ready for a relationship.

 

[Brotherfromanothermother]

I believe it's good to have a variety of people in your circle of friends.
I think it's totally unreasonable to date someone because you feel the need to move on.
My 1st ex and I were separated 1 year. No reconciliation possible - determined by her.
I met someone and it quickly progressed. We married the day the 1st divorce was final. I didn't take the time to come to terms with anything. Was it adultery in my case.....? I didn't used to think so but as I've searched my heart I realize that my heart is deceitful. It has the ability to rationalize all kinds of crazy ideas. So in black and white terms it (the hearts still trying to rationalize it *shaking head*) was.
It seems like all you've known is married life (at least for the last 19 years) don't rush into dating.
You might not be a young hottie anymore (but then again you might be ) but you don't realize your value through another person. You are valuable in God's sight and you need to become thoroughly convinced of that fact.

And contrary to popular public opinion there are black and white issues in the Bible that we are supposed to adhere to because HE said so. No matter what
we try to convince ourselves and others of.