- Aug 16, 2005
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Hi folks,
For those of you who don't me, my name is Pete. I've been an active part of this forum for almost 8 years. I've been a regular member, I've been a staff member and I've been a supervisor. I've participated in CF in many different capacities. That's just a bit of background for context of what I'm going to talk about.
In the almost 8 years that I've been active on this forum (and others), there have been a handful of people over the years who have determined that there is something wrong with me; that I'm argumentative, that I just love to be right all the time, that I don't care what anyone else has to say... you get the idea. Once someone labels you like this, it's hard to talk to them in any meaningful way any more, because until they succeed in "fixing" whatever it is that they perceive is broken in you, they'll see you through the veil of the problem they've ascribed to you.
Now obviously over the last 8 years, I've done far more than just participate in this forum, as we all have. I have been happily married for almost 14 years and I have 2 amazing children. I am the worship leader at my church. I have a successful career in IT and my own business fixing computers. I have many friends and family around me in real life. Most of those people would tell you that I'm a pretty easy going and friendly guy. Yes, I can be quite stubborn, but generally, I would prefer to let you believe what you believe and I'll believe what I believe and we'll agree to disagree. People who actually know me would also tell you that I don't like to argue, and in fact I attempt to avoid confrontation when at all possible. That's not to say I won't speak my mind, but I always attempt to do so respectfully (with varying levels of success).
I don't act or speak differently on this forum than I do in real life. People say that you never know who's behind the posts on an online forum, and that's true, but my signature which says, "I am who I am and I say what I mean" is not just a snazzy saying. It's the Truth.
This presents a logical conflict; on the one hand, I have some people I converse with online telling me how I just like to argue and I need to deal with myself. They'll even tell you how concerned they are for you, and that they're praying for you. OTOH, I have other people online who rep me and send me kudos for the things I say. I also have plenty of people in real life that I respect, trust and listen to who have told me that I've grown a lot in the last 8 years.
So what's my point? This thread is meant as an encouragement for everyone here. Perhaps you can't relate to my exact situation as I've described it, but we've all had people who have taken it upon themselves to "fix" us in some capacity. Most of us would probably say that we're more concerned with what God thinks of us than with what other people think of us, but are we really? There's nothing inherently wrong with listening to what people have to say and growing and improving from others' comments and admonishments, and in fact I believe that everyone should have people that they trust and listen to for such things, but we must be careful that we don't allow other people to manipulate us into what they think we should be, but instead allow God to mold us into who HE wants us to be.
So I encourage you; don't allow other people to dictate to you who they think you should be. Be careful who you listen to. Be who God has called you to be and don't worry about what others have to say about it. You are beautifully and wonderfully made. Don't let others rob you of how God has made you. They may think they need to "fix" you, but God's handiwork doesn't need their help.
For those of you who don't me, my name is Pete. I've been an active part of this forum for almost 8 years. I've been a regular member, I've been a staff member and I've been a supervisor. I've participated in CF in many different capacities. That's just a bit of background for context of what I'm going to talk about.
In the almost 8 years that I've been active on this forum (and others), there have been a handful of people over the years who have determined that there is something wrong with me; that I'm argumentative, that I just love to be right all the time, that I don't care what anyone else has to say... you get the idea. Once someone labels you like this, it's hard to talk to them in any meaningful way any more, because until they succeed in "fixing" whatever it is that they perceive is broken in you, they'll see you through the veil of the problem they've ascribed to you.
Now obviously over the last 8 years, I've done far more than just participate in this forum, as we all have. I have been happily married for almost 14 years and I have 2 amazing children. I am the worship leader at my church. I have a successful career in IT and my own business fixing computers. I have many friends and family around me in real life. Most of those people would tell you that I'm a pretty easy going and friendly guy. Yes, I can be quite stubborn, but generally, I would prefer to let you believe what you believe and I'll believe what I believe and we'll agree to disagree. People who actually know me would also tell you that I don't like to argue, and in fact I attempt to avoid confrontation when at all possible. That's not to say I won't speak my mind, but I always attempt to do so respectfully (with varying levels of success).
I don't act or speak differently on this forum than I do in real life. People say that you never know who's behind the posts on an online forum, and that's true, but my signature which says, "I am who I am and I say what I mean" is not just a snazzy saying. It's the Truth.
This presents a logical conflict; on the one hand, I have some people I converse with online telling me how I just like to argue and I need to deal with myself. They'll even tell you how concerned they are for you, and that they're praying for you. OTOH, I have other people online who rep me and send me kudos for the things I say. I also have plenty of people in real life that I respect, trust and listen to who have told me that I've grown a lot in the last 8 years.
So what's my point? This thread is meant as an encouragement for everyone here. Perhaps you can't relate to my exact situation as I've described it, but we've all had people who have taken it upon themselves to "fix" us in some capacity. Most of us would probably say that we're more concerned with what God thinks of us than with what other people think of us, but are we really? There's nothing inherently wrong with listening to what people have to say and growing and improving from others' comments and admonishments, and in fact I believe that everyone should have people that they trust and listen to for such things, but we must be careful that we don't allow other people to manipulate us into what they think we should be, but instead allow God to mold us into who HE wants us to be.
So I encourage you; don't allow other people to dictate to you who they think you should be. Be careful who you listen to. Be who God has called you to be and don't worry about what others have to say about it. You are beautifully and wonderfully made. Don't let others rob you of how God has made you. They may think they need to "fix" you, but God's handiwork doesn't need their help.