When I was weak at heart and mind

[Tyler Williamson]

I grew up raised in a Baptist church at a very young age. Church in my home was as important to my parents as school. From a very young age my mind was so curious about God. I was that kid in Sunday school who always knew the answers to the questions and was even invited to teach an adult class at a church I had only visited once. I remember studying with my step dad all week to prepare for it. I get up to the pew the night I was going to teach and I remember shaking all over, not from nervousness but from excitement. Although a short class everyone really enjoyed it and got such a blessing from it as I was only 13 at the time. After that I was hooked. I would go to school and listen to Christian music at school by myself and study my bible, go home and study my bible every day after school not because I had to but because I wanted to. My step father and I would stay up late every night studying. He and my mother fought all day every day for 10 years until one day they decided to get a divorce. Emotionally I was crushed. Here I am at 16 years old and the man I consider to be my father is leaving and I'm never going to see him again. He was the whole reason I was so interested in my faith, because I looked up to him so much and saw his devotion to God and it made me want to be the same. I was so devastated and I didn't even get to say a goodbye to him and haven't seen or heard from him since. After this heartache I lost my desire to study and go to church. After graduating high school I fell off the deep end, turning to every drug I could get my hands on just to feel something. I walked around as if I was an emotionless skeleton. All I wanted to do was feel love. I struggled for so long with lustful thoughts, greed, hatred, and envy. I had completely given up on myself. I tried to take my life away at 18 and again at 19. I just felt the constant fear of getting close to people in fear of them leaving me. My mother has been 5 times in my short life so I had gotten used to people leaving me. Fast forward to 20 years old. At this point I had went to church a couple different times and even prayed and tried to get close with God again but it seemed as if I would go to church or pray about whatever problem I was facing and then when he made it go away, I would turn back to my old ways. The last church I went to I had the preacher approach me and he says to me, "son God has something very special planned for you and I don't know what it is but I feel like God is calling you, so listen to him", he then had the whole church pray for me and it was the greatest feeling I have ever felt. It was a feeling better than any drug I had ever had. Since that night I have turned away from drugs but I have backslid once again. I am 21 years old now. A lot has changed since that night, and a lot of people have come and gone from my life, but I am proof that God is not going to leave you. After you have accepted him in your heart, you are His. He says I will never leave thee nor forsake thee

 

[eleos1954]

Th

I grew up raised in a Baptist church at a very young age. Church in my home was as important to my parents as school. From a very young age my mind was so curious about God. I was that kid in Sunday school who always knew the answers to the questions and was even invited to teach an adult class at a church I had only visited once. I remember studying with my step dad all week to prepare for it. I get up to the pew the night I was going to teach and I remember shaking all over, not from nervousness but from excitement. Although a short class everyone really enjoyed it and got such a blessing from it as I was only 13 at the time. After that I was hooked. I would go to school and listen to Christian music at school by myself and study my bible, go home and study my bible every day after school not because I had to but because I wanted to. My step father and I would stay up late every night studying. He and my mother fought all day every day for 10 years until one day they decided to get a divorce. Emotionally I was crushed. Here I am at 16 years old and the man I consider to be my father is leaving and I'm never going to see him again. He was the whole reason I was so interested in my faith, because I looked up to him so much and saw his devotion to God and it made me want to be the same. I was so devastated and I didn't even get to say a goodbye to him and haven't seen or heard from him since. After this heartache I lost my desire to study and go to church. After graduating high school I fell off the deep end, turning to every drug I could get my hands on just to feel something. I walked around as if I was an emotionless skeleton. All I wanted to do was feel love. I struggled for so long with lustful thoughts, greed, hatred, and envy. I had completely given up on myself. I tried to take my life away at 18 and again at 19. I just felt the constant fear of getting close to people in fear of them leaving me. My mother has been 5 times in my short life so I had gotten used to people leaving me. Fast forward to 20 years old. At this point I had went to church a couple different times and even prayed and tried to get close with God again but it seemed as if I would go to church or pray about whatever problem I was facing and then when he made it go away, I would turn back to my old ways. The last church I went to I had the preacher approach me and he says to me, "son God has something very special planned for you and I don't know what it is but I feel like God is calling you, so listen to him", he then had the whole church pray for me and it was the greatest feeling I have ever felt. It was a feeling better than any drug I had ever had. Since that night I have turned away from drugs but I have backslid once again. I am 21 years old now. A lot has changed since that night, and a lot of people have come and gone from my life, but I am proof that God is not going to leave you. After you have accepted him in your heart, you are His. He says I will never leave thee nor forsake thee

One's relationship with the Lord is a very personal one. Just keep reading His word. Start your day, every day with prayer and His word. Study topically on whatever is on your mind, or is brought to mind.

Jesus loves us so much .... more than our minds can understand. We are always loved and He is always there. Always.

God Bless.

 

[God is good]

I grew up raised in a Baptist church at a very young age. Church in my home was as important to my parents as school. From a very young age my mind was so curious about God. I was that kid in Sunday school who always knew the answers to the questions and was even invited to teach an adult class at a church I had only visited once. I remember studying with my step dad all week to prepare for it. I get up to the pew the night I was going to teach and I remember shaking all over, not from nervousness but from excitement. Although a short class everyone really enjoyed it and got such a blessing from it as I was only 13 at the time. After that I was hooked. I would go to school and listen to Christian music at school by myself and study my bible, go home and study my bible every day after school not because I had to but because I wanted to. My step father and I would stay up late every night studying. He and my mother fought all day every day for 10 years until one day they decided to get a divorce. Emotionally I was crushed. Here I am at 16 years old and the man I consider to be my father is leaving and I'm never going to see him again. He was the whole reason I was so interested in my faith, because I looked up to him so much and saw his devotion to God and it made me want to be the same. I was so devastated and I didn't even get to say a goodbye to him and haven't seen or heard from him since. After this heartache I lost my desire to study and go to church. After graduating high school I fell off the deep end, turning to every drug I could get my hands on just to feel something. I walked around as if I was an emotionless skeleton. All I wanted to do was feel love. I struggled for so long with lustful thoughts, greed, hatred, and envy. I had completely given up on myself. I tried to take my life away at 18 and again at 19. I just felt the constant fear of getting close to people in fear of them leaving me. My mother has been 5 times in my short life so I had gotten used to people leaving me. Fast forward to 20 years old. At this point I had went to church a couple different times and even prayed and tried to get close with God again but it seemed as if I would go to church or pray about whatever problem I was facing and then when he made it go away, I would turn back to my old ways. The last church I went to I had the preacher approach me and he says to me, "son God has something very special planned for you and I don't know what it is but I feel like God is calling you, so listen to him", he then had the whole church pray for me and it was the greatest feeling I have ever felt. It was a feeling better than any drug I had ever had. Since that night I have turned away from drugs but I have backslid once again. I am 21 years old now. A lot has changed since that night, and a lot of people have come and gone from my life, but I am proof that God is not going to leave you. After you have accepted him in your heart, you are His. He says I will never leave thee nor forsake thee

Thank you for the post, may God bless you and Jesus loves you. Jesus is Lord.

 

[Tyler Williamson]

Thank you both for such kind words. God bless you

 

[1watchman]

Yes, as one said here: put the Lord Jesus first in your heart and be devoted to Him daily. That is what pleases the Father and brings blessings (John 14). God says: "...them that honor Me I will honor". I will pray for you.

 

[Sarah G]

but I am proof that God is not going to leave you.

I love this so much. The dark times you have experienced were terrible and heartbreaking of course but you are proof that Jesus Christ can and will heal a broken heart if we give Him all the pieces. May your testimony reach out to many other young people experiencing that same heart wrenching, painful loss that you went through. I am sure God has great plans to turn that suffering into ministry, ashes to beauty.

 

[Tyler Williamson]

You have all given me such a blessing with your responses. I hope you all will remember me daily when you pray

 

[Little Lantern]

God bless you, Tyler. May God break every chain that binds you and enable you to see yourself through His eyes. He is faithful; Just keep walking forward.

 

[Tyler Williamson]

Thank you so much.

 

[1watchman]

Yes, as one said here: put the Lord Jesus first in your heart and be devoted to Him daily. That is what pleases the Father and brings blessings (John 14). God says: "...them that honor Me I will honor". I will pray for you.

Tyler, I am posting this again as I believe it is the essence of your problem. You have had great disappointment in life, but God can hold you up and give you peace in Him to go forward.

Read the following scripture portions: John 1; John 3; John 14, and see if you find God speaking to you. It is imperative that you get into communion with the Lord Jesus, and take every thought to Him, and trust He hears and will with the Father give you truth and peace by the Holy Spirit. It is good to see what God says in 1 Jn. 5:10-13 to know all is well. Walking with the Savior is the way to go. Trust Him, and I will pray for you!