When feeling triggered over minor things

[LovebirdsFlying]

OK. So recently I asked a question on Facebook. I'd been seeing a trend to post some obviously false statement followed by "prove me wrong," such as "There are no names that begin and end with the letter A. Prove me wrong." Of course there are many, and the comment section is going to be full of Amanda and Alexandra and Alicia. I asked, what is the purpose for this kind of game besides clickbait?

This prompted a friend to explain to me in detail what clickbait is, as if I didn't already know, because hey, that's why I called it that in the first place, isn't it? A second friend then doubled down by coming in and telling me the first friend "nailed it."

Understand that I am very (probably disproportionately) sensitive to being considered stupid. It is a lifelong trigger for me. Two pet peeves were brought to the surface here. One, telling me something I already know, as if they didn't expect me to know such a thing. Two, pretending to have answered my question, when in fact they answered a related question, not the one I actually asked. I wasn't asking what clickbait is! I was asking if there is any reason for this type of game BESIDES clickbait.

I should probably also point out that I have complex PTSD, which could explain why I am easily triggered by minor things.

Instead of confronting my friends, I simply deleted my question. Any protest at all would have made me look insanely irrational. I suppose it's just one more among many, many topics that I never should have brought up.

Now, since I know the trigger is silly of me, how can I untrigger?

 

[pdudgeon]

I don't know of a way to un+ trigger.
But the way I would look at it, is that it's a self-challenge: One for me to think up as many of that sort of name as I can.
So instead of posting, I would grab a sheet of paper and a pen, and see how many I could think of, and then start listing them on the paper.
That way I am challenging myself.
( And I'm the one that wins!!)

 

[mama2one]

.

 

[Albion]

Instead of confronting my friends, I simply deleted my question. Any protest at all would have made me look insanely irrational. I suppose it's just one more among many, many topics that I never should have brought up.

Now, since I know the trigger is silly of me, how can I untrigger?

Hi. I liked your post, but how to handle the problem you described...I don't know.

EXCEPT, that is, to put the people who specialize in doing what you referred to on "ignore."

You know you won't be missing anything much and it can allow you to post your own thoughts without giving the unhelpful feedback any mind.

 

[bèlla]

Social media isn't an ideal setting if you're sensitive or easily triggered. There's too many landmines.

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

Hi, everybody. Thanks for your advice so far. I get the concern about social media, but I need to point out that I can come across this particular trigger just as easily in real life. Any face to face friend, family member, co-worker, or stranger on the street could condescendingly tell me something I already know, or answer some question other than the one I asked. And it would probably irritate me just as much.

Ignoring social media, I think underlying all of this is the insecurity I have about being considered stupid. It's happened to me a lot. To recall a real-life example, my ex-husband undermined my intelligence at every opportunity. If we were watching Jeopardy on TV, every time I got the question right, he'd look at me amazed. "How did YOU know that?" He didn't expect me to know anything, because I was just a dumb housewife who existed only to serve him, clean the house, and change diapers. You know what caused our divorce? When we both enrolled in college, and I made the Dean's List while he flunked out. That's when he started running around on me, and eventually left me for another woman. He couldn't STAND the fact that I wasn't as dumb as he portrayed me. (By the way, the woman he left me for had learning disabilities. He just had to have somebody in his life he could feel smarter than.)

So, this may help explain why being treated like I'm dumb is such a trigger.

 

[Gregory Thompson]

OK. So recently I asked a question on Facebook. I'd been seeing a trend to post some obviously false statement followed by "prove me wrong," such as "There are no names that begin and end with the letter A. Prove me wrong." Of course there are many, and the comment section is going to be full of Amanda and Alexandra and Alicia. I asked, what is the purpose for this kind of game besides clickbait?

This prompted a friend to explain to me in detail what clickbait is, as if I didn't already know, because hey, that's why I called it that in the first place, isn't it? A second friend then doubled down by coming in and telling me the first friend "nailed it."

Understand that I am very (probably disproportionately) sensitive to being considered stupid. It is a lifelong trigger for me. Two pet peeves were brought to the surface here. One, telling me something I already know, as if they didn't expect me to know such a thing. Two, pretending to have answered my question, when in fact they answered a related question, not the one I actually asked. I wasn't asking what clickbait is! I was asking if there is any reason for this type of game BESIDES clickbait.

I should probably also point out that I have complex PTSD, which could explain why I am easily triggered by minor things.

Instead of confronting my friends, I simply deleted my question. Any protest at all would have made me look insanely irrational. I suppose it's just one more among many, many topics that I never should have brought up.

Now, since I know the trigger is silly of me, how can I untrigger?

Clickbait internet users tend to be part of a click farm, it's a job. They get paid to get a reaction and look legitimate.

A lot of accounts out there like that.

This sometimes acts as motivation, to not engage, but it varies based on individual psychology.

 

[InChristAlone525]

I also exhibit PTSD in regards to triggers so I know what you are going through. I have found triggers are illuminating where we need healing still. If we can fully accept the underlying emotion/s we can feel it and let it pass through us and hopefully reprogram our brain not to be so reactive the next time it comes up.