When enough becomes too much...

[Serving4Christ]

Those who've read my posts understand how long this grueling battle has gone on, and yet still, I have no closure, only more pain.

Everything up to this point now which, has me pending criminal charges for her false accusations, has been purely retaliatory. I never told her to choke my son. I never told her to whip him across the front of his leg with a wooden spoon. I never enticed her to void every court order out there. I have full custody based on her actions and by my actions of placing the interest/safety/innocence of the children before my own.

So why all the evil and ugliness? She's doing her best to get me kicked out of the Air Force. She placed a restraining order on me. She told the officer I squeezed her hands and pushed her while admitting she grabbed my 9 yr old when he tried running to me for safety. And I got arrested for a red mark under her watch?

The arresting officer never listed the witness's statement. Never wrote up my sons statement. His statement contracticted what she wrote in her statement.

I was in court again today and I guess I'm just reaching out. I'm trying to stay strong in this especially for my children, but I feel my heart is getting weaker by the moment. I know God never gives you more than you can handle, but even that I question. I feel so drained and empty with no end in sight.

Prayers are gladly accepted.

 

[seebs]

That sounds like a pretty toxic relationship. A friend of mine was in a really nasty divorce that sounded similar. His ex spent years fighting for custody in the courts, and she didn't even want it; she just wanted to hurt him.

 

[striplemom]

Serving4Christ, my heart and my prayers go out to you! I have a very good friend who is going through almost the same thing. He is in the Air Force, and his soon to be ex-wife had his step-daughters falsely accused him of molesting them. They recanted, and the DA dropped the charges a month later. He is holding onto his faith, and praying that he will get custody of his boys. And they are going through a nasty divorce. He is also trying to salvage what is left of his military career, since his reputation at work and in church has been damaged. If you don't mind, I will mention your post to him, and ask him to pray (as well as myself) for a fellow Air Force member facing a similar, if not exactly the same situation. Hold on to the Lord, and when it feels like it is too much to bear, crawl into your Heavenly Father's lap, and let him carry you. Keep that poem Footsteps close to your heart. You are not going through this alone, I know he is carrying you. I pray that everything that is taken from you due to her maliciousness is returned to you 100 fold.

 

[Serving4Christ]

It was 7 months into the divorce and $6,000 later I told her parents that if she agreed to seek marital counseling with me and counseling for some deeper issues she has, I'd drop it all...she refused stating, "You're the one with all the problems!"

And its been down hill every since. I'm alieneated from my church because of her restraining order which states I can't go anywhere she might be.

I'm taking on the role of a full time dad working two jobs trying to keep food on the table and paying the daycare fees. I doing my best to keep out of trouble at work, however, even at that I've failed in some sense because of the daycare issues with the kiddies.

I'm doing the best I possibly can for my kiddies. I recognize they never asked for this. He never asked to be choked. I want to do everything in my power to help bring them through the nastiniess of this divorce. I need prayer for strength, wisdom, and guidance. And I need prayer for my health.

 

[Southern Cross]

Serving4Christ, hang in there, man. God is not going to let you down. Do what you are doing for your children with a glad heart, and things are eventually going to get better. Treat your children with as much kindness and love as you can, but keep them on the straight and narrow, too. They probably feel some confusion, and they're hurt, but they need a strong hand to guide them through the next several years.

This will pass in time. You are learning much through this process. I completely understand what it is to go through a divorce, but I'm fortunate becasue my wife is amicable about the whole thing for the most part. But I still see the way my childen are being hurt no matter how much we try to protect them. I cannot even begin to imagine what a child must feel like if they are being used as pawns.

Work can take a back seat to your children's needs. If you mess up at your second job, just explain the situation and keep on working.

I will be praying for you. Do you have a good church you can call home? Have you switched churches?

 

[Serving4Christ]

Serving4Christ, hang in there, man. God is not going to let you down. Do what you are doing for your children with a glad heart, and things are eventually going to get better. Treat your children with as much kindness and love as you can, but keep them on the straight and narrow, too. They probably feel some confusion, and they're hurt, but they need a strong hand to guide them through the next several years.

This will pass in time. You are learning much through this process. I completely understand what it is to go through a divorce, but I'm fortunate becasue my wife is amicable about the whole thing for the most part. But I still see the way my childen are being hurt no matter how much we try to protect them. I cannot even begin to imagine what a child must feel like if they are being used as pawns.

Work can take a back seat to your children's needs. If you mess up at your second job, just explain the situation and keep on working.

I will be praying for you. Do you have a good church you can call home? Have you switched churches?

Thank you for the soft words. I'm attending another church and was blessed this Ressurection day by having a couple invite us over for dinner. The socialization hasn't been up to par and it was sure nice to get out and socialize with someone a bit older than my 9-year old. Their grandkids and my kids had such a great time and that eased my heart quite a bit.

The hardest part of the stay was seeing other couples holding hands, talking, showing each other affection, seeing them looking at each other in the eyes with meaning. It's almost like I'm at a starving state of mind. I can forgo the sexual nature, it's the companionship and affection I long for.

Thanks for the continued prayers.

 

[Mtnmover]

Keep your head up! If God is for you who can be against you?
Please do not look at the situation in the natural. It would then be very easy to feel beaten down and the legal system not on your side.
I wish to offer some advice that worked for me. First, you must forgive your ex. And remember forgiveness and feelings are not the same. You can forgive but have resentful feelings overcome you. Don't let Satan trick you into thinking that you haven't forgiven that person. God will help heal your pain.
When you forgive you let God work in the OTHER person. It's not your job, but God's. Read His promises and believe and then your miracle will come. (And it's usually not our timing)
Secondly, nowhere in the Bible does it say that - God won't give you more than you can handle. We live in a fallen world which has many errors BUT we have a God who really, really loves us (More than all the sands on the earth - that's a whole lot!) and wants to be our Father and help us. We learn much through the hard times. In fact, try to focus on all the things you have learned about yourself through all this. I've learned that I'm much stronger than I thought I was.
Hang tight with both hands and watch the Lord move on your behalf.
I'll be praying for you and your children.
Mountainmover

 

[Serving4Christ]

Thanks for taking the time to read and give advice. Forgiving is the easy part, forgetting is another because as soon as I believe I've forgiven something else happens. I'm learning to let go, but truthfully, I can't see me anywhere close until much of this legal battle gets sorted. And until then, I'm hanging on for the ride...