When Do You Forgive?

[Aldebaran]

Your feelings are normal.....all the world would feel and react the same. But we are a peculiar people.
We know that we control our heart and mind now....not those outside of us. Therefore my joy can no longer be stolen by the laughter of one outside of me. I forgave, so now I can feel good when they laugh (or at the worse, feel nothing). If will feel liberating the first time you notice that something that use to make you angry, no longer does so......but it will take you a long time to see this because you wont even be thinking about it anymore......God would have to let it cross your mind one day while sitting in contemplation.....then a smile will come on your face....Others will ask you "why is it that you smile?"......you will tell you that you have a Peace that they would not Understand......

I sure wish I could say I've been able to experience that, but as much as I've tried, and as much as I've prayed for it, it never happens that way.

See above,

the only thing I would add is the fact that, worrying and getting nervous does nothing to make the neighbor stop.....it only harms you physical and spiritually.....so why not try giving it up?
Cast you cares on Him....and be happy that He is about to deliver you from a situation in a way that you could not of planned yourself....

I don't get nervous because I think it will make the neighbor stop. I get it as a natural "fight or flight" reaction when I feel threatened. I don't know how to make that go away when someone poses a threat to me.

 

[Aldebaran]

I would say the person probably isn't a Christian, because they are harassing you. So, what do you think God would have you do? Do you know what started the problems?

It apparently started as soon as my next door neighbor moved in and they noticed that I don't have all my window curtains closed. Then it escalated when her kid was throwing things at my house and I looked out my window to see what was going on, then escalated further when I told the kid to stop. After that, they started calling the police on me for looking out windows, sitting on my enclosed front porch, being out in my garage, etc. Most lately, she yelled at me through my window saying, "You better not be standing by that window!" I wasn't sure what to expect following that. They also have a security camera aimed at my house and backyard from about 8 feet away. Also a flood light they point at my house. I've called their landlord and wrote him emails telling him everything this person has been doing and he won't help, even though the police told me I should. The landlord says it's a police issue. The police say it's a civil issue.

I had the same problem at work. I was harassed by a number of staff members, and I realized after months of anguish that I had to forgive them and move on. Have you prayed about the situation. Have you asked God to give you wisdom. To give you a solution. Sometimes God allows us to go through these situations to test our faith and sometimes we pray and God deals with the situation. I'll pray along with you brother.

What kind of harassment did the staff members give you? I've been harassed at work before and tried to ignore it until it got to my boss and then they always decided it was best to just terminate me.

 

[Tropical Wilds]

The Lord tells us that we must forgive someone who has repented of their sin:

[3] Take heed to yourselves; if your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him;
[4] and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, and says, `I repent,' you must forgive him." Luke 17:3-4 RSV

However, there are those who think you should forgive before someone repents. What do you think?

I think it would be exhausting to wander the world in a constant state of judgement and unforgiveness, as well as being judged and not forgiven by all we encounter.

 

[Dan the deacon]

The Truth is with you.
We don't listen to people.
We listen to the Word of YHWH:
We forgive those who repent & ask forgiveness.
IF they are too rebellious to repent
OR too proud to ask forgiveness,
We cast them out of our fellowship
BUT still Love our enemy
by asking YHWH to grant them to repentance.
We do not allow unrepentant hypocrisy in the fellowship
We are a fellowship of repentant hypocrites,
actively trying to help each other overcome
through communal prayer & support;
similar to AA,
but with much more stringent requirements for fellowship:
Faith in at least the Elementary Principles of the Gospel and a genuine desire to overcome sin;
not for salvation,
which is only by Grace through Faith,
but for YHWH's glory
in the eyes of men & demons
who witness our transformation.

Where in scripture does it say to only forgive those asking for Forgiveness? I thought we were to forgive all who wrong us for our own good.

 

[Dan the deacon]

Yes, we are supposed to forgive as the Lord forgives - exactly. And I think you will find the Lord forgives you as soon as you repent. And that is good news.

Really? He asked Father to forgive those having Him crucified before they repented.

 

[Dan the deacon]

I am not Jesus.

But you are to be like Jesus.

 

[dreadnought]

If someone kicks you in the shin, you can keep the door shut as a preventative measure whilst still not holding the shin kicking incident against them.

I believe to forgive, you have to act as if the sin never happened. By keeping the door closed, you are not doing that.

 

[dreadnought]

Really? He asked Father to forgive those having Him crucified before they repented.

I think he was looking into the future. At some point those people would have to repent. Does the Bible teach us that everybody goes to heaven?

 

[dreadnought]

But you are to be like Jesus.

Jesus also warned us what happened if we sinned.

 

[Dan the deacon]

Jesus also warned us what happened if we sinned.

I agree. Bit He never told us to wait until a sinner repented to us. He said to forgive. Judgement is His and not ours while we live on earth in this form. Why would we wait until the person ask us for Forgiveness? The persons sin was against God, not us. Our forgiving does not clear them of the sin. It clears is of holding a grudge and sinning ourself.

 

[Aldebaran]

I agree. Bit He never told us to wait until a sinner repented to us. He said to forgive. Judgement is His and not ours while we live on earth in this form. Why would we wait until the person ask us for Forgiveness?

Because if they don't even ask for forgiveness or even show they've repented, then there's no indication they even want your forgiveness.

The persons sin was against God, not us. Our forgiving does not clear them of the sin. It clears is of holding a grudge and sinning ourself.

If the person's sin was against God, then isn't it God who would either forgive or not forgive. If you saw someone kick another person, is it your place to forgive them? Or is it up to the one who was kicked?

 

[dreadnought]

I agree. Bit He never told us to wait until a sinner repented to us. He said to forgive. Judgement is His and not ours while we live on earth in this form. Why would we wait until the person ask us for Forgiveness? The persons sin was against God, not us. Our forgiving does not clear them of the sin. It clears is of holding a grudge and sinning ourself.

What purpose is served in forgiving someone before they repent? Would we repent if the Lord didn't discipline us?

 

[Philip_B]

In the story of the Good Samaritan, the lawyer asked the question Who is my neighbour? It seems what he was trying to sort out was who he had to love, and whom he could exclude from his circle of love. The Samaritan is obviously the antithesis of a good Jew, yet he it was who proved to be a neighbour to the man who fell among robbers.

It seems that the question being asked in this thread is Do I really have to forgive everybody? and some of that answer is found here:

Luke 23:32-34
Two others also, who were criminals, were led away to be put to death with him. When they came to the place that is called The Skull, they crucified Jesus there with the criminals, one on his right and one on his left. Then Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing.’​

The reason why there is not a time for me to withhold forgiveness is quite simply the example of Jesus and my own need for forgiveness.

Give us today our daily bread.
Forgive us our sins
as we forgive those who sin against us.
Save us from the time of trial
and deliver us from evil.​

 

[lismore]

The Lord tells us that we must forgive someone who has repented of their sin:

[3] Take heed to yourselves; if your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him;
[4] and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, and says, `I repent,' you must forgive him." Luke 17:3-4 RSV

However, there are those who think you should forgive before someone repents. What do you think?

That's an interesting point. He who asks for forgiveness receives it.

There is a component of forgiveness, reconciliation, that will not come until the person repents and seeks pardon. The pardon will not come until the person genuinely asks for it.

However it is not wise for us to be walking about with hurts and bitterness, therefore it is best to let it go in some form. Letting it go will not give the offender a pardon, but it will give you some peace of mind.

God Bless

 

[Fredg61]

If someone comes to your door every day and kicks you in the shin, would you continue to open the door for him?

After the first time I would call the police and have them arrested for assault. Then I would forgive them because they no not what they do...

 

[dreadnought]

After the first time I would call the police and have them arrested for assault. Then I would forgive them because they no not what they do...

You would need a witness.