When are they your good friend??

hey i was just thinking the similar kind of question lately.
hm i noticed in my group of friends, there is usually one person that organises things and then the others don't make the effort. but that doens't mean that they don't care and don't want to hang out , but they are use to that person having that role. so maybe even between two friends, if you were the on ethe usuali calls the other one out, they get use to this.

i think good friends should call both ppl out though, it seems only fair and two way thing right. and that u don't feel left out but yeh sometimes the case above happens.

i don't knoe what you could do if they are 'use' to it, that u call them...maybe like suggest hint to them, 'hey, you knoe you can call me when ever you want to hang out k, don't be shy lol'.

to think if they are good friends and they value your friendship (they might not be open to it), well you got to figure out if they help you grow, accept you as you, make you feel good, and there are many friendship qualities, you have to figure out what is important to you i guess =)



goodluck!

KGirl said:

I really can't figure out the answer to this question. I've had many people in the past who I'd do the efforts and go see/call/hang out. They'd seem to enjoy me being there and we'd spend time together whatnot. Sometimes it just would seem hard to tell if they're my friend bc they wouldn't do effort back. Sure they like me there, but I'd have nothing to really let me know. Then if I saw them make effort to others it would make me even more confused. BUT then obviously you can have people who call you still not be your true friends.

It just feels like most of what I've known for a few years was me doing the effort.
What qualities do good friends have? Are there other things I should be seeing? Blah...

Click to expand...

Usually you know when someone is going to be a potential friend. You develop an intuition of sorts and feel a connection with that person.

With some people, it takes time to get close too. The longer you know someone, the more likely they will become a friend.

one thing i've learned in life. if you die having 1 or 2 true friends, you're blessed. so many pay lip service and cannot be counted on in tough times. it's those who stick by you regardless, who you can be your true self with yet they love and support you anyway that are your true friends. and they are few and far between.

I've got two good freinds thats it. One we have been freinds since preschool the other first grade. They are the sponsers of my children when they were baptized. You asked the question when do you know your freinds are good freinds? When you will drop everything you are doing and help them when they need it and they will do the same for you. But I think the thing that makes them a true good freind is when they can come to you and show you that you are doing something that you aren't supposed to be doing and you in return don't get made at them but take what they have told you and change your ways for the good and thank them for it. Hope that helps

KGirl said:

Here's the thing though.. In the past I had people who I figured out would never end up calling me if I didn't call them. They would let the friendship die. I've done that hinting thing before. It doesn't seem to work. It seems like everyone gets use to me calling even if I call them now and then. I guess I'm so tired of doing that to the point that I don't call people all the time. I still try to "be a friend" and call now and then.

Click to expand...

And that is what you do. I have childhood friends that don't call and I have a brother and sister that don't call. I know, however, that they are busy with their own lives. I call them from time to time.

Your friends may have friends that they have known longer. They are conditioned to doing things with them. If they aren't calling you, I wouldn't take it personal. Friendships take time to cultivate. You haven't been in their life as long as some of their other friends. Keep on calling and be your own person. Friendship should be unconditional anyways. Be you. Don't let circumstances dictate how you are going to act. Remain true to yourself.

lol,
Kim

There are people we can thoroughly enjoy, but we will not remain in contact long term. EG School friends, workmates, neighbours.

There are those we believe are good friends, but they let us down at some stage, and the relationship may never recover.

There are those friends who you have for life. They are rare, and are to be treasured. They are trully God's gifts to us.

John
NZ

We Choose our Friends---sometimes for the wrong reasons--the best are chosen then developed IMHO these are good starting points:

All relationships take a certain amount of time to develop. (Because they require trust, which is earned).

Choose people with whom you have interests in common, but more importantly VALUES.
Are they of good character?

DO they lie? Give their best effort at a task? Are they
cheerful? Spiritual? Do they believe in quick easy fixes or are they committed individuals.

IMHO These type people usually make the best friends and their opposites are usually too self-absorbed to be dedicated to anything other than themselves for long.

Friendships are built...making efforts,honesty, loyalty and spending time with someone. If they do not put the effort back to be your friend then there not much of a good loyal friend...