When a mom isn't...

[NateBlack]

When a mom isn't...

I'm posting this for the benefit of those who are struggling with difficult parents. My mother, God bless her, vascillates from being "ok" with my sexuality to being ugly and abusive about it. The pendulum has swung and she's decided to become ugly again... Here's her email from this morning:

*******************************
Dear Nathan,

I want you to know before I say what I want to say in this letter, that I love you more than you can know! And I know more than you can know! And I know the Lord loves you more than I could ever imagine. In so very many ways your heart is so good and so kind, who could not Love you?

You care for others and you go out of your way to help others. I have So missed the fellowship in the Lord that we use to have more than you could ever know. And if being kind and doing good works could get you to heaven, you for sure would make it. But it won't be enough. Only true repentance and the washing with the blood of Jesus will do.

This is one of the most difficult letters I have ever written and I do so with hope in my heart that you somehow will understand and somehow believe that I have your best interest at heart.

I have been letting God deal with my heart over my own sins and really wanting to get to that place of total surrender to Him. Through many times of weeping before the Lord, He has led me to put Him first, even above my children. Jesus said that I would even have to hate my own life also to be His disciple. There really is no other way to please Him.

You know that I really believe that you need to repent, and that your Soul is in danger of going to hell if you die in your sins. I know that I know that I know this in my heart of hearts, as well as the scriptures speaking of those who walk in the flesh and not in the Spirit. I know because I backslide when I learned of your lifestyle. I began to question God and went through my own hell over all of this. But when Justin died, God opened my eyes to my foolishness and gave me an opportunity to repent and to turn back to Him. Which I am eternally grateful to Jesus for, because many never have that opportunity to repent and end up in hell forever.

Justin is in heaven, because God let him come back to life and pray the sinners prayer! I know this and God has confirmed to me many times, that Justin is with Him.

So I have learned the fear of God even more than in the past, and I am Not going away from Him ever again by His grace and mercy! And I am Reading the word, of which you profess to believe and it says that if I love Jesus I will obey His commands. It also says that I can not love my children more than I love Him. So I must obey Him and put Him first in all things.

Here is the hard part that I must do. And I believe that in obeying Him in this, that there will still be hope for you.

I have compromised because of you in the past, but I have repented. I can't compromise anymore.

I compromised because I was angry at God over what you went through and how it affected you. God has shown me how foolish that was, and has truly granted me a gift of repentance. And here is what the word says that I must do:

1Cr 5:11 But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any Man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat.

If you were just living in sin and not professing to be a Christian then I would not be required to do this. But you are living in fornication and now your even going to become a minister, so that puts me in a position to either ignore this command or obey it.

This is where I have to draw the line. Until you come to yourself and realize the REAL spiritual danger you are in every day you live in your sin, and truly repent, I will not be able to fellowship with you or to even eat with you. I can't go out to eat with you when you come to town.

I can't invite you to anymore family gatherings. This is harder for me than you will ever know.

I know many in my own family won't understand this, and may be offended at me and hate me. But I only care what Jesus thinks and what He wants, because I know He misses your fellowship too!

Our fellowship can be restored upon your true repentance and walking Away from your sin. I truly long for that time more than you could ever know!!! Any time you want to find your way back to the truth, I will be there to help you.

And I can tell you my flesh does not want to obey this, but my spirit knows that there is no other way, especially if there is any hope for you at all.

I know this will maybe make you hate me and make you infuriated with me. You will think me such a hypocrite and you will want to lash out at me.

You are in a lot of deception, and according to the word only God can Help you at this point. I will not hold anything against you that you do or say to me. I love you, I love you, I love you. I want you to make it to heaven!

You are in fornication which is clearly a sin in the word of God. You would be better off to not try to bring God into you sinful lifestyle son. It's just a very bad thing to do spiritually.

I love you and pray for you son. I will never stop praying for you!!!

Love,

Mom

Please wait until you are not so angry before you write me or call me ok. I really do love you!

Dear Heavenly Father,

I ask that You would grant Nathan the gift of repentance. I ask that You would show him that he is being deceived and in danger spiritually. I pray that he will have his eyes opened to see and that his ears would Be open to hear, and that he would be given a heart to understand the Truth and be able to turn to You and turn from his sin of rebellion. I ask for mercy for his soul and to be filled with hope that You can help him.

In Jesus mighty name.

Amen

I have counted the cost of obeying Gods word, what I have to endure, is just what will be. I have counted Him worthy of all my obedience and love.

**********************

And my response...

I am your son.

I love you.

Jesus said the two greatest commandments were to Love God and to love your neighbor as you love yourself.

You think what you're doing is prompted by love, but it is not. It is prompted by hysteria and fear. You should be ashamed of yourself for acting so unlovingly and ungraciously.

You do not have permission to disinvite me from family events. They are my family too.

Do you really think a loving God is going to call you to be abusive? I don't think so. I certainly don't believe in that kind of God.

What did Jesus say we had to do to have eternal life?
Luke 18:25--28
On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. "Teacher," he asked, "what must I do to inherit eternal life?" "What is written in the Law?" he replied. "How do you read it?" He answered: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'[c]; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'" "You have answered correctly," Jesus replied. "Do this and you will live."

You can choose to believe as Jesus taught and LOVE God or you can choose to fear the God who made you because you think that doing so will give you a ticket to escape hell.

You're taking the easy road.

What is love?
1 Cor. 13:4-8
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

Their is a vast difference between your words and what love actually is.

I will see you at the reunion. Please be prepared to be gracious and kind.

I love you.
Nathan

***********************

I believe my mother's words & actions are highly unethical, immoral and unChristian. What do you think?

 

[ChristianCenturion]

I believe my mother's words & actions are highly unethical, immoral and unChristian. What do you think?

What do I think?
Well apart from the OP having large potential in being bait for flame since it is places the poster as being a major component of the discussion, I think some people forget that the parable of the lost son has a good ending because the son CAME TO HIS SENSES and some people would even curse the father (interesting in the application in that) for not "sharing" in the son's "lost times".

Luke 15:11-32
The Parable of the Lost Son

11Jesus continued: "There was a man who had two sons. 12The younger one said to his father, 'Father, give me my share of the estate.' So he divided his property between them.

13"Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. 14After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. 15So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. 16He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.
17"When he came to his senses, he said, 'How many of my father's hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! 18I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. 19I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.' 20So he got up and went to his father.
"But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.
21"The son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.'
22"But the father said to his servants, 'Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate. 24For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' So they began to celebrate.
25"Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. 26So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. 27'Your brother has come,' he replied, 'and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.'
28"The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. 29But he answered his father, 'Look! All these years I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. 30But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!' 31" 'My son,' the father said, 'you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. 32But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' "

 

[knightlight72]

NateBlack, I have to say you Mom really loves you. When she is willing to do the right thing even though it hurts to do so.


This may be tough to hear, but stop trying to hurt your mom back with words of calling her unloving. She's doing this because she cares about your eternal life.

Even if you feel your mother is incorrect, you still need to honor your mother.

 

[NothingButTheBlood]

I didn't find her email to be mean spirited but full of love. She is trying to do right by God. Personally I find it aweful you would post something so personal. Both her's and yours.

 

[Kgreg]

As a repentant homosexual, I agree that you are in need of repentance. I acknowledge that you are also an adult and are going to do what you want, regardless of what I or your mother says.

I am surprised that a man of your age would participate in this drama by responding to that email, if it is real. This could very well be a baiting attempt on your part, but I will give you the benefit of the doubt. I suggest you try to establish an adult-adult relationship with your mother as opposed to participating in this parent-child manipulation. Ignoring such a message as if it had never been received is a good way to stop such unproductive correspondence in the future. Responding to it will just cause the drama to escalate. Refusing to communicate on her terms is taking control of the relationship and forcing it to mature.

I also question why you would publicize this correspondence here when it is predictable, with certainty, where the two theological camps are going to side on this, hence my suspicion that this is "bait" to induce contention on the board.

 

[Harpuia]

It wasn't mean-spirited, but she should still respect your beliefs a little more. If she really believed that you could turn from your "sinning" ways, she'd let you do that in time.

 

[dr.p]

Nathan,

What we think is truly of no consequence. Not that the responses you've received are not good -- they are, very. But God is our judge, and He promised that, in sacrificing His son for us, and in our receiving His gift of salvation, we would receive the Holy Spirit, and He would lead us into all truth. Humble yourself before the Almighty, and repent of all you know you need to; then ask if there is more than you know. My short span on this earth has taught me that there is always more than we know. Ask God to judge between you and your mother, and correct the one who is wrong, and leave it in His perfect hands, and you will see His salvation.

 

[dr.p]

double post. sorry

 

[Miss Shelby]

It sounds to me like your mother loves you very much.

Michelle

 

[momalle1]

Nathan, that's really tough. I'm sure you felt rage and anger, driven by the pain. No one can get through this except you and your mom, hopefully talking about it helps you. I do agree that you should probably not respond, I don't think you're baiting, but your not helping either. If your mom has ever accepted it, there is always hope. At the end of the day, nothing on this earth is more important than the tie between parents and children. I assume you don't have any, it doesn't make you less of a person, but the only way to understand the feeling, and your mom, is to have your own children. I've known too many people who had fights or issues with their parents, didn't speak with them, and haven't met one that didn't regret it. Please, try to understand and accept your mom and why she feels the way she does (I agree with most of your response to her), but she does have a right to feel as she does. It may take years, but I feel that in the long run, if you are the big person and allow her to feel what she does, she will come around. Tell her if that's her decision, that you accept it, do not speak ill of her to anyone (find a confidant or two to vent to) and see what happens.

You really don't fight fire with fire, you fight it with water. Fight her fear and misunderstanding, and your hurt and rage with love.

 

[kimber1]

nathan, first i want to say i think it took courage to post that so God bless oyu

second, i think your mom thinks she is really doing this for you. and she probably is to some extent but probably for herself as well. if you don't mind me asking, were you raised in an extremely fundamental home? it just sounds like it from her reactions. she clearly believes she's doing the right and biblical thing.

me, i think God loves all His children and to go even further all His creation. we have no way of knowing at the end what's going to happen. who goes where.

i agree that the greatest command is to love one another as He loves us. how we show that love and what we do with it is ultimately up to us and in our control to either give it or withhold it. God will judge us all in the end.

 

[homeschooling_Momma]

I am truly so sorry for the pain that you are feeling.

I am a Mother, and my children are still small...but I can not see turning my back on my children and totally cutting them off (but Ive not been there, done that)....

I have had my dose of 'tough love' as well.....it was even to the extreme that I was homeless with my 2 children, but it taught me a very valuable lesson.

I have to defend Mothers, cause I am one....lol...I am sure that she loves you very much, and she obviously feels that this is what she has to do in order to be where the Lord wants her to be....

that being said I know you must be wondering 'hey, what about me?'

I can speak from the 'woman at the well' and the 'prodical son' view because thats where I have been...so this is not some lady in nowhereville that doesnt have life experiences to understand where you are coming from, where you are now standing....because friend I truly do (just read my testimony).....

there were times that I didnt speak to my parents out of respect for them (in my Bible it says honor our parents, and it doesnt tell me to stop when I get grown..LOL)....because I am not going to bicker with my parents over 'feelings' because I knew that I felt my view was right, and I knew they felt theirs were right as well...

in that time apart, I found salvation, or should I say I received the gift of salvation...and my Mother did as well \0/ praise the Lord, thank you....

my Mommie passed away this past October due to ALS, and Im glad that we made peace, and that we had everything right, and I have things right with the Lord, and she did as well.....

that being said, heres the actual verbs to what may help you......

look into your heart, and talk to the Lord...if you have sin in your life, and you are doing things that arent within the will of God, please repent & sin no more....turn your back on said sin and cling to your family because you only get one Mother...believe me, I know...

do spend time in Gods Word studying about the prodical son, and what happened to him, and see if you parallel with that story at all....

please know in your heart that she loves you, and shes giving you this dose of 'tough love' to try to show you she does love you....

I would not have posted anything that my parents shared with me in private, especially where that form of sin is concerned....but I am not the judge of you....

If you have this sin in your life, I beg you to please return to what you parents have raised you to be, to become the man that is described in Scripture.....

Respecting our parents means so many things....it means during the easy times, and during the most difficult times...and one of the things that show the greatest respect towards our parents is respecting their wishes, and also their privacy....

I say everything that I post here in the upmost of love and respect..I say nothing to lash out or be judgemental, I say everything in Christian love.

God bless you, and I pray the Lord show you the way.

 

[levi501]

It's a shame you have to endure such misguided unenlightened contempt from someone so close to you.

 

[NateBlack]

As a repentant homosexual, I agree that you are in need of repentance. I acknowledge that you are also an adult and are going to do what you want, regardless of what I or your mother says.

I am surprised that a man of your age would participate in this drama by responding to that email, if it is real. This could very well be a baiting attempt on your part, but I will give you the benefit of the doubt. I suggest you try to establish an adult-adult relationship with your mother as opposed to participating in this parent-child manipulation. Ignoring such a message as if it had never been received is a good way to stop such unproductive correspondence in the future. Responding to it will just cause the drama to escalate. Refusing to communicate on her terms is taking control of the relationship and forcing it to mature.

I also question why you would publicize this correspondence here when it is predictable, with certainty, where the two theological camps are going to side on this, hence my suspicion that this is "bait" to induce contention on the board.

I can assure you it's a genuine email she just sent me this morning. I've received plenty of them from her over the past few years.

You might have a point about not responding to her... but it's been my experience that "not responding" doesn't work. Plus, the impetus of her email is an upcoming family reunion that she doesn't want me to come to.

In the past, I have responded to her on the same level she came at me with... and that was really a mess.

I know she loves me. I also know she is very misinformed and her words/actions do not line up with what she says she believes.

To add more to the problem, I used to worry a lot about her mental/emotional state. When she & my step-dad divorced, she became suicidal and was in a psych ward for awhile. She's always been somewhat fragile.

It just blows my mind that she can be so fragile AND so hostile... And believe me, this email is nothing compared to ones she has sent previously.

I am making this public to make people aware of the impact of beliefs that say God doesn't love gay people and accept them just as they are. The only impact of these beliefs is to cause harm. I experience it continually with my mother.

It is my hope that you who have beliefs that say gay people are sinning by being who they were created to be, that you will now possibly consider the impact of how you put those beliefs in the world... what you say & do... and that you will become committed to not causing harm.

 

[NateBlack]

It sounds to me like your mother loves you very much.

Michelle

She does.

I realize she is a victim of misinformation... and truly beleives what she's saying... but I'm tired of letting her victimize me.

I'm trying to set aside my anger & hurt and just speak to her regarding what the Bible says about her words & actions.

Nate

 

[Miss Shelby]

She does.

I realize she is a victim of misinformation... and truly beleives what she's saying... but I'm tired of letting her victimize me.

I'm trying to set aside my anger & hurt and just speak to her regarding what the Bible says about her words & actions.

Nate

Well, I won't speculate on anything more since this is a highly personal issue. I don't know you or your mom from the man on the moon, so it would be highly inapproriate of me to speculate or even to inquire. I will say it's clear that you two love each other and I hope that there can be an amicable resolution between the two of you someday, or at the very least, peace in both of your hearts. I wish you the best, Nate, and your family as well.

Michelle

 

[Thirst_For_Knowledge]

When a mom isn't...

I'm posting this for the benefit of those who are struggling with difficult parents. My mother, God bless her, vascillates from being "ok" with my sexuality to being ugly and abusive about it. The pendulum has swung and she's decided to become ugly again... Here's her email from this morning:

*******************************
Dear Nathan,

I want you to know before I say what I want to say in this letter, that I love you more than you can know! And I know more than you can know! And I know the Lord loves you more than I could ever imagine. In so very many ways your heart is so good and so kind, who could not Love you?

You care for others and you go out of your way to help others. I have So missed the fellowship in the Lord that we use to have more than you could ever know. And if being kind and doing good works could get you to heaven, you for sure would make it. But it won't be enough. Only true repentance and the washing with the blood of Jesus will do.

This is one of the most difficult letters I have ever written and I do so with hope in my heart that you somehow will understand and somehow believe that I have your best interest at heart.

I have been letting God deal with my heart over my own sins and really wanting to get to that place of total surrender to Him. Through many times of weeping before the Lord, He has led me to put Him first, even above my children. Jesus said that I would even have to hate my own life also to be His disciple. There really is no other way to please Him.

You know that I really believe that you need to repent, and that your Soul is in danger of going to hell if you die in your sins. I know that I know that I know this in my heart of hearts, as well as the scriptures speaking of those who walk in the flesh and not in the Spirit. I know because I backslide when I learned of your lifestyle. I began to question God and went through my own hell over all of this. But when Justin died, God opened my eyes to my foolishness and gave me an opportunity to repent and to turn back to Him. Which I am eternally grateful to Jesus for, because many never have that opportunity to repent and end up in hell forever.

Justin is in heaven, because God let him come back to life and pray the sinners prayer! I know this and God has confirmed to me many times, that Justin is with Him.

So I have learned the fear of God even more than in the past, and I am Not going away from Him ever again by His grace and mercy! And I am Reading the word, of which you profess to believe and it says that if I love Jesus I will obey His commands. It also says that I can not love my children more than I love Him. So I must obey Him and put Him first in all things.

Here is the hard part that I must do. And I believe that in obeying Him in this, that there will still be hope for you.

I have compromised because of you in the past, but I have repented. I can't compromise anymore.

I compromised because I was angry at God over what you went through and how it affected you. God has shown me how foolish that was, and has truly granted me a gift of repentance. And here is what the word says that I must do:

1Cr 5:11 But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any Man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat.

If you were just living in sin and not professing to be a Christian then I would not be required to do this. But you are living in fornication and now your even going to become a minister, so that puts me in a position to either ignore this command or obey it.

This is where I have to draw the line. Until you come to yourself and realize the REAL spiritual danger you are in every day you live in your sin, and truly repent, I will not be able to fellowship with you or to even eat with you. I can't go out to eat with you when you come to town.

I can't invite you to anymore family gatherings. This is harder for me than you will ever know.

I know many in my own family won't understand this, and may be offended at me and hate me. But I only care what Jesus thinks and what He wants, because I know He misses your fellowship too!

Our fellowship can be restored upon your true repentance and walking Away from your sin. I truly long for that time more than you could ever know!!! Any time you want to find your way back to the truth, I will be there to help you.

And I can tell you my flesh does not want to obey this, but my spirit knows that there is no other way, especially if there is any hope for you at all.

I know this will maybe make you hate me and make you infuriated with me. You will think me such a hypocrite and you will want to lash out at me.

You are in a lot of deception, and according to the word only God can Help you at this point. I will not hold anything against you that you do or say to me. I love you, I love you, I love you. I want you to make it to heaven!

You are in fornication which is clearly a sin in the word of God. You would be better off to not try to bring God into you sinful lifestyle son. It's just a very bad thing to do spiritually.

I love you and pray for you son. I will never stop praying for you!!!

Love,

Mom

Please wait until you are not so angry before you write me or call me ok. I really do love you!

Dear Heavenly Father,

I ask that You would grant Nathan the gift of repentance. I ask that You would show him that he is being deceived and in danger spiritually. I pray that he will have his eyes opened to see and that his ears would Be open to hear, and that he would be given a heart to understand the Truth and be able to turn to You and turn from his sin of rebellion. I ask for mercy for his soul and to be filled with hope that You can help him.

In Jesus mighty name.

Amen

I have counted the cost of obeying Gods word, what I have to endure, is just what will be. I have counted Him worthy of all my obedience and love.

**********************

And my response...

I am your son.

I love you.

Jesus said the two greatest commandments were to Love God and to love your neighbor as you love yourself.

You think what you're doing is prompted by love, but it is not. It is prompted by hysteria and fear. You should be ashamed of yourself for acting so unlovingly and ungraciously.

You do not have permission to disinvite me from family events. They are my family too.

Do you really think a loving God is going to call you to be abusive? I don't think so. I certainly don't believe in that kind of God.

What did Jesus say we had to do to have eternal life?
Luke 18:25--28
On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. "Teacher," he asked, "what must I do to inherit eternal life?" "What is written in the Law?" he replied. "How do you read it?" He answered: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'[c]; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'" "You have answered correctly," Jesus replied. "Do this and you will live."

You can choose to believe as Jesus taught and LOVE God or you can choose to fear the God who made you because you think that doing so will give you a ticket to escape hell.

You're taking the easy road.

What is love?
1 Cor. 13:4-8
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

Their is a vast difference between your words and what love actually is.

I will see you at the reunion. Please be prepared to be gracious and kind.

I love you.
Nathan

***********************

I believe my mother's words & actions are highly unethical, immoral and unChristian. What do you think?

I think your mother loves you, but I agree with your feelings. Religion is a powerful thing, and it can lead even the most loving people to act immoral and unethical. Explain to her that you love her, and that you understand, but also make sure that you explain that her interpretations of the bible are leading her to be immoral and that you can't be a part of it. Make her understand that you will not be sucked into what you view to be an unethical situation. She will either see the light, or won't, but stay strong.

 

[Kgreg]

I can assure you it's a genuine email she just sent me this morning. I've received plenty of them from her over the past few years.

You might have a point about not responding to her... but it's been my experience that "not responding" doesn't work. Plus, the impetus of her email is an upcoming family reunion that she doesn't want me to come to.

In the past, I have responded to her on the same level she came at me with... and that was really a mess.

I know she loves me. I also know she is very misinformed and her words/actions do not line up with what she says she believes.

To add more to the problem, I used to worry a lot about her mental/emotional state. When she & my step-dad divorced, she became suicidal and was in a psych ward for awhile. She's always been somewhat fragile.

It just blows my mind that she can be so fragile AND so hostile... And believe me, this email is nothing compared to ones she has sent previously.

I am making this public to make people aware of the impact of beliefs that say God doesn't love gay people and accept them just as they are. The only impact of these beliefs is to cause harm. I experience it continually with my mother.

It is my hope that you who have beliefs that say gay people are sinning by being who they were created to be, that you will now possibly consider the impact of how you put those beliefs in the world... what you say & do... and that you will become committed to not causing harm.

RE: your mother

What do you want from your mother?

Is it realistic, given her mental health and religious beliefs that you will get that from her?

If not, how can you control the terms of your relationship with her so that there is no discussion of an issue at which the two of you are at impasse?

RE: other christians and the Faith

Can you realistically expect other christians who disagree with your view on homosexuality to remain silent?

Just how much are you willing to sacrifice of yourself for Jesus after what He's sacrificed for you?

Whether one believes homosexuality is right or wrong, if God asked one to sacrifice one's sexuality, would it be too much for God to ask?

I'm not baiting you here. These questions are questions I've asked myself.

 

[christalee4]

NateBlack - you have been down this road before, as you described, with your mother struggling about her feelings in regards to your sexuality. I only wish you the very best and hope that one day you and your mom will come to a level of acceptance about each other.

Much blessings and best wishes, Christa Lee.

 

[NateBlack]

RE: your mother

What do you want from your mother?

I want her to have peace about God's love for her. I want her to move past fundamental/literalist interpretations of the Bible because I can see the impact on her mental/emotional health.

I want her to feel that God approves of her love for me.

I want her to be well, happy & peaceful.

I want her to abandon her homophobia.

Is it realistic, given her mental health and religious beliefs that you will get that from her?

I believe it will eventually happen. It's not going to be overnight.

If not, how can you control the terms of your relationship with her so that there is no discussion of an issue at which the two of you are at impasse?

If I didn't believe there was any hope for her, I would probably not speak to her at all. There's no sense in provoking a rabid fight.

But... I believe there is hope. I believe she is slowly changing. She is struggling more and more with her hostility, as seen in her letter.

I think my role with her is to continually love and forgive her, but to also guide and teach her... to help her become who God is calling her to be.

RE: other christians and the Faith

Can you realistically expect other christians who disagree with your view on homosexuality to remain silent?

I am not seeking silence. I am seeking a change of heart.

Just how much are you willing to sacrifice of yourself for Jesus after what He's sacrificed for you?

Whether one believes homosexuality is right or wrong, if God asked one to sacrifice one's sexuality, would it be too much for God to ask?

There are people who God calls to celibacy. I am not one of those people.

Jesus said He paid the price... the battle has been won. Why must I sacrifice my dignity, relationships with family, the love of my partner, etc... because someone has a different belief about sexuality than I do?

There is a place for nonviolent, purposeful suffering IF it is for a specific purpose... i.e., getting arrested to protest discriminiation.

Being a continual victim of suffering is not something I believe God calls anyone to.

I'm not baiting you here. These questions are questions I've asked myself.

Not a problem.