When a Loved one is depressed

[Memory's Flame]

My homelife has been pretty stressful the past few months. After struggling with depression for many years, my boyfriend decided (with a little convincing on my part) that he needed help. He saw a Doctor and has been taking medication and is doing considerably better! But all of his depression and bad days has really put a toll on me.

Some days, when he's not doing so good, I feel that I have failed. That I have not supported him enough, or that I have done something wrong to make him this way.

Though I know that's not true, and that I haven't done anythign to hurt him... I still feel almost depressed that I can't just wave a magic wand and make him better.

Has anyone else felt this way?

 

[rssllue]

I have felt the part of waving the wand to solve someone else's problem for sure. And I have been one that caused someone else to feel that they have somehow caused my problem or are adding to it when that was not the case. So I guess I can see this situation that you are going through from both sides. All I can say is that you are right and it is not your fault for the problems of another unless you are actively contributing to them. We are only human and will not act perfectly so do not put pressure on yourself to be perfect. It will not happen. Just let God fill you with His peace and ask the Holy Spirit to guide you actions and reactions so that you may be as supportive as possible for you to be. Do not expect any more from yourself than what you can do. We don't need to beat ourselves up over mistakes, that is what Satan wants and does himself. Ask for forgiveness if you must and turn to the Lord at all times and in all things and you will be renewed and made new every day! And take JOY in this renwal, the both of you! Smile and God smiles with you! And wait on His timing for the release of this problem in your lives; He has a great purpose for it so keep seeking it out and seeking Him out! God bless and post anytime if you need to release those fears or get support from others here. That's what we are here for!

 

[SpiritPsalmist]

Today at 01:38 PM JacqueB said this in Post #1

My homelife has been pretty stressful the past few months. After struggling with depression for many years, my boyfriend decided (with a little convincing on my part) that he needed help. He saw a Doctor and has been taking medication and is doing considerably better! But all of his depression and bad days has really put a toll on me.

Some days, when he's not doing so good, I feel that I have failed. That I have not supported him enough, or that I have done something wrong to make him this way.

Though I know that's not true, and that I haven't done anythign to hurt him... I still feel almost depressed that I can't just wave a magic wand and make him better.

Has anyone else felt this way?

Hey Jacque

I think the only thing you can do for your boyfriend is pray for him.  I know you're probably doing that already but just pray for him more. 

Depending on where one's relationship with Jesus is can be a deterrent or a bonus in coming out of depression. 

Yes, medication can help, but medication only silences (somewhat) the manifestations of something happening or not happening deep within a person. 

There can be chemical imbalances and there can be emotional issues that need to be brought to the feet of Jesus.

Mental problems runs on one side of my family.  I've had a grandmother and an aunt who were both in mental institutions.  And if it had been known what my mother was doing to me, she probably would have been put in one as well. . .either that or jail.

Depression has tried to come upon me several times.  A few times it succeeded but when I realized what it was (the doctor tried to put me on medication) I made a bee-line for the feet of Jesus and He rescued and delivered me. 

I know that some may balk at this answer, but I've never had it fail.  Jesus came for the whole person.  Body, soul, and spirit.  Being in His presense works wonders.  Being in His light, chases out ALL darkness.

So, pray for the relationship between your boyfriend and Jesus.  That may be the real issue.

I'm praying for you both

 

[Mr.Cheese]

LOL!
The wife went through the same thing with me. I'm glad she put up with me. I wore her out but she stayed with it. Now I'm on meds and feel like I am alive.

 

[Memory's Flame]

Mr. Cheese;
Thank you so much! Your post gave me hope that things will be ok!

 

[AggieCatholic]

Jacque,
while I absolutely agree with Quaffle in that running to the feet of Jesus is probably the single most important aspect of FULL healing, please DON'T underestimate the power of medication. After fighting through depression for many years--and telling myself that I should be able to "do it" through faith alone--I finally realized that medicine is not all that bad. If a person has a true chemical inbalance then they should do what they can to get that resolved. BELIEVE ME, just taking medicine will NOT heal you. So I'm not advocating that it's the cure-all. Jesus is the only one who can do that. But your boyfriend needs to get to place where he's thinking straight and wanting to get up in the morning. Then he needs to run to the foot of the cross. And then healing TRULY begins. It's a tough road. Don't give up on him and NEVER, EVER blame yourself for not being good enough--my boyfriend sometimes does it and it only makes me sadder.
Praying,
AggieCatholic

 

[Memory's Flame]

Thank you Aggie

It's so wonderful to have so many supporting people with such wonderful advice!

 

[hollygirl]

Jacque, I praise the Lord for my wonderful husband. As hard as it was and sometimes is I know that the Lord will continue to care for us, love us, and help us. Just realize that you can't fix it but you can be understanding. And if it gets too heavy sometimes....know that it's alright for you to unload somewhere (counselor, friend, here, or whatever.) *hug*

 

[Memory's Flame]

Thank you bunches and bunched Holly!

 

[cat57]

i know what its like to be with someone who gets depressed. sometimes you think it will never end. and i had to pray alot for God to help me to forgive the things that were said and how it all made me feel. but God is working now and i see a change. i thank God so much that through it all i never lost my love for my husband. eight years is a long time and thank God he is changing things.