When a Christian says, "I don't believe in that stuff anymore"

[linux.poet]

. This is pertaining to my former husband. He grew up in a very dysfunctional family, he was doing all kinds of terrible sins at a very young age, I would say by the age of 12 he already reached an 'adulthood' thinking. He lived in the streets for a while and got into drugs and crime. Came to faith at age 23 but has gone back to sinful lifestyle(not crime though).

His comment definitely strikes me as a typical guy thing to say, especially a guy coming from that terrible environment. The Gospel is good for abuse victims and troubled youth because it gives them access to love and grace, and a benevolent authority to follow as a kind of guiding light. However, sometimes we can fall into the trap of worshipping healing and results instead of God - we worship the gifts God gave us and not God himself. It's possible that he might have accepted the Gospel out of a desire to change his life, not out of a genuine submission to Christ.

Apparently this illicit relationship is giving him something that you're not, and whatever it is, he wants to hold onto it and not be criticized for it. People who grew up in dysfunctional households can withdraw from criticism a lot and not manage it well. I would give him some time to come around, because he may yet work out his spiritual foibles and come back to you after months or years of thought. But that's just me.

 

[Hannah66]

thank you and I agree. Sadly, he divorced me in 2018. He said he had a peace about what he was doing.
His actions greatly impacted me; broke my heart, even though I chose to forgive him, he wanted to bring harm upon me(He wanted me to jump out of the car into moving traffic).
I still pray for him. His sin did really have a huge impact upon my life, physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally.

 

[linux.poet]

thank you and I agree. Sadly, he divorced me in 2018. He said he had a peace about what he was doing.
His actions greatly impacted me; broke my heart, even though I chose to forgive him, he wanted to bring harm upon me(He wanted me to jump out of the car into moving traffic).
I still pray for him. His sin did really have a huge impact upon my life, physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally.

It's probably some old trauma working its way out of him that somehow he doesn't trust you with. That doesn't excuse what he did to you, not in the slightest. Bringing harm like that is an abusive action, but obviously if you had a stable relationship with him for 20 years, and you don't have a dysfunctional background yourself all of this would come as a real shock. That just makes everything worse.

I think you are wise enough to stay away from him for the time being for your own safety. Researching family trauma and abuse cycles may give you some peace of mind and healing from what he did to you and may guide you in how best to pray for him.

 

[2PhiloVoid]

When a christian, who became saved in 1996 and was walking as a christian for many years
says, "I don't believe in that stuff anymore"(pertaining to christianity, walking with the Lord"

Does it mean, they are


1) Backslider
2) never saved
3) or walking away from their faith.

Thank you.

I'd have to ask that person which specific "stuff" they're referring to. Otherwise, I can't answer the question.

 

[Grafted In]

Then there's Jesus asking if a shepherd had 100 sheep and one ran away, would he not search for it till he finds it?

 

[Hannah66]

I'd have to ask that person which specific "stuff" they're referring to. Otherwise, I can't answer the question.

yes true. It was said to me back in 2018, I think.. I don;t think my former husband would answer the question. i sent him an email at Christmas, and shared that i still pray for him and so does my family..he didn't respond. I think he means - the whole thing - being a christian. His omther said the same thing. Stuff means - being a christian

 

[Hannah66]

Then there's Jesus asking if a shepherd had 100 sheep and one ran away, would he not search for it till he finds it? I don't know if he has listened to 'God's voice. If he isn't a Child of God then probably God isn't seeking him. sadly

 

[2PhiloVoid]

yes true. It was said to me back in 2018, I think.. I don;t think my former husband would answer the question. i sent him an email at Christmas, and shared that i still pray for him and so does my family..he didn't respond. I think he means - the whole thing - being a christian. His omther said the same thing. Stuff means - being a christian

It sounds to me like he was taken in by the stuff of the world. I'm sorry you had to deal with that malady among men.

 

[BNR32FAN]

When a christian, who became saved in 1996 and was walking as a christian for many years
says, "I don't believe in that stuff anymore"(pertaining to christianity, walking with the Lord"

Does it mean, they are


1) Backslider
2) never saved
3) or walking away from their faith.

Thank you.

I think only God can answer that question, we can only speculate.

 

[BNR32FAN]

A true believer in Christ can slip up (commit sin) in their faith, but they will never walk away. John said people who do seem to walk away were never saved to begin with.

1 John 2:19 They went out from us, but they were not really of us; for if they had been of us, they would have remained with us; but they went out, so that it would be shown that they all are not of us.​

Why? The reason a believer will not desert the faith is because once a person comes to an understanding of who Christ is and what He offers, then nothing else matters. This is found in Peter's response to Jesus:

John 6:67 So Jesus said to the twelve, “You do not want to go away also, do you?” 68 Simon Peter answered Him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have words of eternal life. 69 We have believed and have come to know that You are the Holy One of God.”​

So this "Christian" who "became saved" was either 1) not a true believer, or 2) they have tasted of the heavenly gifts, rejected it, and walked away (much like the "disciples" of John 6). The former case requires prayer and patience that they may come to a saving knowledge of Christ. The latter will be impossible to restore. Unfortunately, we don't know which is the case.

1 John 2:19 doesn’t say that all Christians who fall away were never true believers, that passage is about a specific group of people at a specific time. It’s not worded in reference to all who fall away. James 5:19-20 specifically tells us that true believers can fall away.

“My brethren, if any among you strays from the truth and one turns him back, let him know that he who turns a sinner from the error of his way will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins.”
‭‭James‬ ‭5‬:‭19‬-‭20‬ ‭NASB1995‬‬