What's your reasoning behind your "singleness"?

[psycmajor]

I'm not AT ALL implying that being single is bad or wrong, or that you even need an excuse.

I'm just curious to see if people have any reasoning in their minds about why they are single, even though they don't want to be. Do you think the problem is related to you? Is it other people? Both? Neither?

 

[DJ_1]

Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD , "plans to
prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

2 Corinthians 12:9
"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."

Matthew 26:39
"Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed,
"My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I
will, but as you will."


It is a matter of priorities. I don't think being single is a problem, but many people choose to look at it as one. The most important thing is realizing that God is in control and wanting him to fulfill His purpose for your life, whether you ever get married or not. So, in a sense I think it is best not to say "God, I don't want to be single", but "God, I want to you fulfil your purpose in my life, and I want to live the way you want me to live"
Then go out and do it!

 

[TANKERx]

Being an ugly goytch probably doesn't help me, that and being socially and emotionally disfunctional - and having the mental capacity of a retarded toad. Oh, I also find it easier to fly by flapping my arms than I do trusting people, and I have more phones than friends.

Apart from that, I don't know why I'm single!

Hey, thanks for this topic - I've really cheered up now!

 

[S Walch]

well, I'm quite shy when It comes to asking girls out - and Sometimes - I just need someone to give me a little push in the right direction.

 

[JoieDeVivre]

You're funny TANKERx.

I'm single by choice. I don't believe I've met the one God has chosen for me. Or if I have, I'm unaware that he's the one.

 

[wvmtnkid]

Well, I am single at the moment by choice, God's choice.

I decided about 2 years ago that I was done picking the guys I thought were right for me. I didn't always make the best decisions and choices. So, I decided it was time for me to quit fighting God and to put that decision into His hands. I asked Him to work on me and make me the person that He wants me to be. I have seen many changes in my life and lifestyle since than. I have met a few guys since that I would have liked for them to have been God's choice for me, but since things didn't work out, I have to accept that they were not. Would I rather be single? No. But I would rather be single than be with someone who I shouldn't be with and who isn't God's choice for me. It has taken me a long time to be able to say those words, but I feel that is were I am right now.

 

[DJ_1]

"But I would rather be single than be with someone who I shouldn't be with and who isn't God's choice for me"

Amen wvmtnkid!

 

[walkaways]

Single by choice -- first off, still in highschool, which I really don't feel is the place for relationships...adding to it the fact that our school is so small..what is really important to me is friendship.
I also don't feel like I'm spiritually prepared for a relationship--I'm afraid I might end up dependent on them, and not God...so I'm praying on it.

 

[OneFish]

"But I would rather be single than be with someone who I shouldn't be with and who isn't God's choice for me"


...you got that right!

 

[OneFish]

And .... I guess I'm single cause God wants me to be.

I'm pretty sure I could force the issue if I REALLY wanted to. Not totally sure of that but lets not find out shall we?

 

[wvmtnkid]

4th April 2003 at 03:24 PM walkaways said this in Post #8

I also don't feel like I'm spiritually prepared for a relationship--I'm afraid I might end up dependent on them, and not God...so I'm praying on it.

Very good thinking, walkaways! It is a lesson I learned the hard way. I think that is a good attitude, realizing a weakness and praying about it.


LOL, OneFish ! Good thinking!

 

[the_man]

4th April 2003 at 01:32 PM OneFish said this in Post #10

And .... I guess I'm single cause God wants me to be.

I'm pretty sure I could force the issue if I REALLY wanted to. Not totally sure of that but lets not find out shall we?

I'm totally sure.  I believe if all of us really wanted to we could all be in relationships; in the world we live it, tis not difficult.  However, that would be rather wreckless and unwise of us wouldn't it.  

To answer the IP's question, the reason why I'm single is because of my obedience to God in this area of my life. 

 

[the_man]

4th April 2003 at 01:24 PM walkaways said this in Post #8

I also don't feel like I'm spiritually prepared for a relationship--I'm afraid I might end up dependent on them, and not God...so I'm praying on it.

I think I'll make a post based on this statement.  I agree with wvmtnkid that it is very good thinking.  However, when I read it, a question poped into my head.  How "spiritually prepared" does one have to be before entering a relationship?  What does "spiritually prepared" mean? I mean surely it is not the case that both parties in a marriage are spiritually perfect hence they were ready to enter that relationship.  At the same time, there is a concept of spiritual maturity that one has to reach before getting into a relationship (this spiritual maturity I refer to is independant of age, i.e. a 45 year old can be as spiritually mature as a 19 year old).  I'll think about it some more and put make a new thread on it. 

I'm sorry to get off topic. 

 

[wvmtnkid]

I think that would be a good topic, the_ man. I have more to say but I'll save it for your new thread!

 

[Hopeful]

single by choice, i always want to be single, i'm afraid of hurting people, yep the problem is with me, now if any one has any advice on breaking such news to the parents... let them out

 

[psycmajor]

Hopeful

In what way are you afraid of hurting people? Is it better not to act at all?

 

TankerX

Sometimes it takes a little bit of pain to reach a point of understanding. It's a step towards resolution of the problem.

 

[pinPoint]

Jesus, Shy, My future wife, appreciation. I have written love poems to her. Her is a sample and please dont try too hard to read it. I write every other time when im lonely. I pray for her and hope that she will like to read all the poems I wrote for her.

Love Letter 1
=======================================
KJfmAE0AFBR/AwAAObL5VrZaq6RNOIAvXdHLNpAuXkMPaHz21lDiHuLIMDnlTaof
LsZbsbgs87GXEq+AnbdX+XKEAT7eZFv8IEAiJAAg7wlOIyDuw6bm4Xu8PMEPGDBZ
tkFKJdNV1rhA/Wz1EeZdonffM4PQQDu5puV4XyvtvuOxDEdsE2qEMJJnOU5R7MxA
SfmFQAicvXR6Pi2QPh/3SBb8vthDS4R/eeskV00/bkE/fUDQYJ84biEVWOyRFQtC
e7YjFJdRVBVA1Oo7qmRSsaazp9dvlokc6VRl94pKC6MqqeV***8wrDe9C7clAITu
kVoYzDfr/ZEIajlDDGKOobNRy2CfMuHjR0aSaMgAqsF9CFff0v8tEoJ3JT/A8Lie
wIj9xFfdVQwhMaV3we92sWm6Tk8GFsAU1aZVd5T975AAjW6f1dU1xC9bvfnQRIV3
mOe6an5xrb7FVsJXu9bCu2ent0VUnCDLGzvVaJw4ESGRXkCzMJRvyG5BidOigsCA
QYdElrYwHgpBVuOcucJTBo0UtOXUWIWA9Fsfsgw2Pe2y+aVUo8SW6qflM4vGMTye
wxaTyTE7WpsoWuhgUqCkKw0p4/vEh5uIIbeb5t1a0hw+o3m5snxBPFOX9L2EZG1f
kIvzDUQlL8XIF2voddRSwkm8th1/jR9Oo+AKO72AKTItdSWexqmD8mnqdTSACJwO
PkfEGdiPX7nib1MxV6h4DDoAN9PhdPoWqbe32PUn6FnVPQ2hg5XdMhDSHNK1YDsz
R5N0//QhkjDqBJkSP+OKTCtvPmeANUSV08FIsXIRy7GWxhBL
=======================================

thanks,

pin

 

[oncewaslost]

i'm single because in a public high school i'm not most guys type. if that makes sense.

 

[Levi133]

I'd rather not think of being single as something bad or undesirable, even though it is something I desire with my whole heart.  It is one of those things that one must offer up to Jesus.  Like Abraham and Isaac sometimes Jesus wants us to surrender ourselves our hearts to Himm, and to trust Him that He'll give those things we hold dear back to us but as with God its usually with more blessings and in a way we never expect.  When Abraham received Isaac back it was through a mediator Jesus, no longer was Isaac Abraham's it was God's promise entrusted to Abraham.  The relationship between father and son was changed, God placed himself inbetween the two.  I think the same can be applied to those of us who desire a marriage relationship.  It seems like only when you give it to God will he give it back and we realize those things are a blessing from God (Cost of Discipleship by Dietrich Bonhoffer has a good section on this concept). Another thing I've learned in my singleness it that God calls some of us to do some things for the Kingdom and to be in a relationship would detract from that.  So those of us who are single take comfort that maybe God is keeping you single so that you can do great things for Him.  I'm in my late 20's and I work full time,  I'm part of a youth ministry and I'm going to Seminary in May.  God knows I won't have time for a wife let along a family. 

God's got a better plan than I have, to trust Him with my heart is the key.

can't remember the reference but its in Psalms

"who do I have in heaven but you? and earth has nothing i desire besides you.  Though my heart and flesh may fail the Lord is my strength and portion forever."

Keep you eyes on Jesus, He's more than enough.

blessings,

Levi

 

 

[Alessandro]

You people are spot on. Waiting for God's perfect timing.