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YOU got a PM? How is that possible? Since when did you have PMs enabled? Cus I tried to send you a PM two days ago and it said you had it switched off and was not accepting PMs from anyone.I just got a PM from a member here on the singles forum requesting that I change my avatar picture to something "less mushy."
So I've decided to ask the general population here on CF, what your opinion is about my avatar.
Tell someone to have a nice day...
I'm gonna put my foot in my mouth and risk guessing that the PM is from one of your exs on CF.Yes, this really happened. No, it wasn't Kirk and surprisingly it was a man. Here's the PM.
"Hi Keri.
I feel awful about saying this because you and Luther have been cool about most things, but do you think it might be possible to change your avatar to something less mushy? It's one of the most glaring "offenses" that I've seen... over and over again... in just about every thread. If I come across as a jerk for saying this, I apologize. At least I tried.
Thanks!"
Glaring offenses?
I'm glad I'm not the only one that thinks it's perfectly appropriate as an avatar.
Excellent pointsI agree with eirene about not sharing PM's publicly - even with the exclusion of the author's name, I'm sure now they've seen it on here for everyone to read....and after making a private attempt to address an issue, I know I would be very unhappy if my PM was posted publicly to be scrutinized. Just tell the person that you're sorry if it bothers them but you're not going to change it - if you don't want to change it. I don't think public consensus should be requested unless several people address the issue.
JMHO
Luther, I think you are going a little bit over the edge there. You are not a guest here. We don't 'allow you' here any more than you 'allow' us here. It is not 'our' forum any more than it is 'your' forum.Hey guys I want to make it very clear that if we are doing anything such as her avatar or my picture or even in speech anything that bothers you a bit or makes you envious then please let us know ASAP so we can change it no matter how silly you may think it is.
I'm not sure Keri knows this feeling but given all the years I was single for I can definatly relate to how easy it is to be hurt and feeling like you are the only single left in the entire world.
I consider this your forum and us to be quite simpily guests in it that you allow us to be here because we are your friends. But as guests I want to make sure we arn't doing anything that bothers you.
Luther, I think you are going a little bit over the edge there. You are not a guest here. We don't 'allow you' here any more than you 'allow' us here. It is not 'our' forum any more than it is 'your' forum.
Unless CF changes the definition for 'single', you are technically a single gentleman. Please, please, please do not view yourself to be an 'outsider' due to the other thread.
The jury is still out on whether we'll get a sub forum for those not exclusively dating, and even if we do....this one would still exist!
Consider this:
This is a fantastic picture. When I first saw it, I was like- wow!.
I saw Luthers picture before, and saw your picture before. Honestly, they were just normal. But, in the thread that you posted this picture, the shining smile on your face, both of you, tells the joy and happiness that you share with each other and makes both of you beautiful. It was a very spiritually uplifting thread especially for people who know more or less about how you were before you met each other.
Now, this is the exact reason why I think it is not considerate to make it your avatar. When people just want to review the thread, this picture stands out by itself, over and over again. I know its not your intention to be annoying, but the result is each time I have to draw my eye balls back from the picture. Luther is much wiser to put it behind the little camera. Real gentlemen!
Honestly, this is probably not your fault. My background plays a role too. I was born and raised in a very conservative culture where physical contacts are very rare, sometimes considered imprudent, even among the families who share strong emotional ties. My dad has never touched my mom publicly, not even hands or shoulder, as I can remember.
I now understand (or at least willing to) the western culture, but my subconscious keeps telling me hey, look at the right side of the page, these two are so intimate with each other in a singles forum!
Come back to the topic. It is your picture, it is your avatar. You have all the right to set the picture as avatar. However, I wouldnt do that myself because I see the reason why it may annoy some people. It does not offend anybody. In my opinion, it just attracts too much attention.
By the way, Im not sure if the person PMed you shares the same view with me. I just let you know my own opinion as you are asking. And, thanks for asking, I voted yes, although strictly speaking my answer is no, you dont have to because you have all the right to do whatever you want to your avatar.
I love you guys, and am "jealous" of your relationship. God bless!
(Good luck with Luther's job searching if he is still doing so.)
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