“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” Dale Carnigie I think said that.
I think there is a lot of truth in that. I used to be very shy also. I found that I can't just be passive and expect friends to come running to me. It doesn't work that way. It takes action. Get out where they are - in Sun. school, at church socials, at community events, (I joined a Thursday morning music club), and other things, like the symphony. Now I try to ask a lot of questions to people I meet about THEIR interests. Its amazing how much people respond to questions and comments about the things they consider important, such as their children, where they live, what they do, etc. and they love to talk about them. I find when I see them again, they are my friends and come up to me at places I go, and say "Hello, how are you doing?" (just because I showed an interest in them before)
So when one makes friends this way, it also gives one self-confidence knowing that others consider one's opinion to be important. I think somewhere in scripture that Jesus said to love oneself. He places a lot of importance on every one of His creatures, whether they deserve it or not. If we love ourselves, then we can learn to love others. I don't mean in an egotistical way or narcissistic manner of course, but in a way that accentuates our talents from the perspective that it was God who gave them to us anyway, so we are not proud in a self-glorifying manner, but in a humble manner. So the attitude is everything. Of course, we can pray for God to give us discernment to see how to pick up on "hints" of what the other person is interested in, so that we may find ways to establish a relationship without being obstrusive.
I believe these principles can be used to our advantage also in situations where we are interested in being a witness for the cause of Christ. Recently I watched a vacuum cleaner salesman come into our house and completely "snow" my wife into buying one. (we really needed one) But it was amazing how he had been trained. He immediately began to complement by wife on our home, how well it was constructed, how well it was furnished, and good the floors looked, etc. He spent more time on looking at our home than he did on the vacuum cleaner. Well, long story short, we bought one!
That gives me an idea on how to relate to others.
Hope this helps!
Jay
