What's wrong with me???

[Quiet Storm]

The same thing kind of happened two times. Yesterday, I traveled to New Jersey for the first time in years to spend Thanksgiving with my immediate and extensive family. Upon seeing so many faces again (especially) those my age, I was filled with joy, but eventually I started stressing. It seemed as if I was the only one who didn't listen to music with offensive language, didn't make sexual inuendoes, etc. And when one of my cousins asked me how I had been doing lately, I told him that I'd been stressing out, but when he asked me why, I didn't tell him because it was of certain things that God was teaching me, or things that I had to overcome with my spiritual walk. I kind of danced around it. Later, I felt like a piece of (I don't like saying "c-r-*-*) so I tried to make myself feel better by telling them that I listened to classical and Christian music when they asked. Then about an hour ago, on of my little cousins (13 years old) saw that I was on this website, and she sucked her teeth (I hope you all know what that means) and expressed some emotion of dissaproval of talking about God, and all that I did was give her a look, but didn't even try to minister to her. And it makes me feel badly because here God has just given me blessing on top of blessing on top of miracle on top of anything and everything that I've asked for and believed in Him for, and when it comes to ministering to someone in my family, I freeze up. And I know that Christ said that if we are ashamed to confess Him before men, He will be ashamed to confess us before God. Why did this have to happen????

 

[aaron]

It is difficult at times. Espescially towards those so close to you. You know that you need to work on that section of you faith. Now pray about it. I will pray for strength through God in you.
            Aaron

 

[Gerry]

Romans 7:18: For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not.
19 For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do.
20 Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.
21 I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me.
22 For I delight in the law of God after the inward man:
23 But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. KJV


7:14-20 - After all, the Law itself is really concerned with the spiritual - it is I who am carnal, and have sold my soul to sin. In practice, what happens? My own behaviour baffles me. For I find myself not doing what I really want to do but doing what I really loathe. Yet surely if I do things that I really don't want to do, I am admitting that I really agree with the Law. But it cannot be said that "I" am doing them at all - it must be sin that has made its home in my nature. (And indeed, I know from experience that the carnal side of my being can scarcely be called the home of good!) I often find that I have the will to do good, but not the power. That is, I don't accomplish the good I set out to do, and the evil I don't really want to do I find I am always doing. Yet if I do things that I don't really want to do then it is not, I repeat, "I" who do them, but the sin which has made its home within me.

7:21-25 - When I come up against the Law I want to do good, but in practice I do evil. My conscious mind whole-heartedly endorses the Law, yet I observe an entirely different principle at work in my nature. This is in continual conflict with my conscious attitude, and makes me an unwilling prisoner to the law of sin and death. In my mind I am God's willing servant, but in my own nature I am bound fast, as I say, to the law of sin and death. It is an agonising situation, and who on earth can set me free from the clutches of my sinful nature? I thank God there is a way out through Jesus Christ our Lord.
JB Phillips Translation

Sound Familiar? We have all been there. We need to focus and lean on Jesus from whence cometh our help.

 

[l33tace]

I don’t know… I mean I don’t always give an answer to all people about everything really beyond the hope that is in me. In some cases it just be my emotional state or physical being or the chili dog I ate a few hours ago… some times I feel that God held back a certain response for a reason. I know that sometimes just by what I do or how I react also is a powerful witness beyond words because they are watching what we do. I tell them, they know, but I don’t ride them but try to show it by how I live and serve God.

Was it wrong or right with how you responded to them? I really don’t know but only God can know the purpose or plan for what happened. I don’t see that as a denial of Him in this case but it is something to pray about and seek his wisdom on because maybe he is trying to say something even beyond this. He shapes us as clay and we are not perfected yet for he is still spinning us on the wheal as his hands mold us.

Peace

 

[aaron]

I agree actions go along way. Already you have witnessed to them sort of just my him seeing you here at CF.

 

[Blindfaith]

Exactly Aaron.  Many times our lifestyles, our actions and just the way we are is a witness to others, including our families.  My brother is unsaved, and I do my best to stay in-tune with what the Holy Spirit is trying to reveal to me, what to say or do.

Even though they're family, there has to be a "relationship" built in order to witness successfully.  And, witnessing to family is often more difficult than witnessing to friends or strangers .

Don't beat yourself up over this.  Satan would love for you to feel discouraged, disheartened, and questioning yourself.  Like Aaron said, just seeing you hear at the CF, verbally telling them what kind of music you listen to, is a little seed that you planted.  You're okay

~Peace in Christ

 

[fieldmouse3]

I've done the same thing.....not talked about God in regards to situations people asked me about. I felt really bad afterwards, but I just asked for forgiveness, and moved on to the next opportunity to share what He was doing in my life!

 

[GraftMeIn]

We all have weak spots that need strengthening. The best thing to do once recognizing one is to seek Gods forgivness, Thank the Lord for allowing you to see it, and ask Him to strengthen you in that area.

I will say a prayer asking the Lord to grant you more strength in this area

 

[kristi124]

praying for you