What's real?

[cardfan1]

Hey gang. I've been struggling lately. I feel like I'm making progress with the counselor and psychologist and all, but even when I feel like i've got it figured out, the depression still lingers. I could use a little encouragement...

I feel so down about so many things. It's like I can't find a "happy place", if you will. I love the Lord Jesus Christ with all my heart, and am leaning on Him, so even though it's difficult, I know that through Him I will get through this, but here lies the enigma...

I really can't figure out which feelings I have are true and which are just a product of the depression. So when I'm with a loved one or someone close to me and I don't really feel that love or joy anymore, I get really scared. I tend to focus on the reasons why I don't like to be with that person, rather than just loving them for who they are. Even with my fiance I find myself wondering if my feelings for her are real or not. I'm so confused. Sometimes it feels so real and I think, "Oh crap! I need to get out of this situation. What did i get myself into?" One moment I feel completely at ease with some person or situation, then the next I feel like something is terribly wrong and I question if I am taking the right path.

I know I will get better. People have told me to not make any big decisions when you are feeling like this. But sometimes I just want to jump ship, run, and just get away. Sometimes it feels like the world is just caving in and all i want to do is get out, end all relationships, cut all ties, move away, and just start somewhere fresh and new. Sometimes it really feels like the Lord is telling me I won't be happy in my future because of the path i've chosen. or is that satan? or is that me? or is it really the Lord? I'm so confused!! All i can see right now is the pain and trouble on my side of the fence, and all the beautiful green grass on the other side of the fence.

Again, I just get so down, and I see how it affects those around me. More than that, I get very scared about the feelings it is producing inside. What if the Lord is trying to tell me something? How do I know what feelings are real???

 

[Petunia]

The grass often looks greener on the other side. But it's never perfect. Complete happiness doesn't exist in an imperfect world. But the Lord has promised us that one day will we have complete happiness. As for now, in this imperfect world.. we find 'a happy place' where we can find a place of contentment.

Whatever path we're on.. the Lord is always with us. We find completeness in Him. Not in anyone else.. and not in the world.

Continue to lean on Him, study and pray. In doing so, we grow spiritually.

Romans 8:28 - And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

 

[AWorkInProgress]

Hey gang. I've been struggling lately. I feel like I'm making progress with the counselor and psychologist and all, but even when I feel like i've got it figured out, the depression still lingers. I could use a little encouragement...

I feel so down about so many things. It's like I can't find a "happy place", if you will. I love the Lord Jesus Christ with all my heart, and am leaning on Him, so even though it's difficult, I know that through Him I will get through this, but here lies the enigma...

I really can't figure out which feelings I have are true and which are just a product of the depression. So when I'm with a loved one or someone close to me and I don't really feel that love or joy anymore, I get really scared. I tend to focus on the reasons why I don't like to be with that person, rather than just loving them for who they are. Even with my fiance I find myself wondering if my feelings for her are real or not. I'm so confused. Sometimes it feels so real and I think, "Oh crap! I need to get out of this situation. What did i get myself into?" One moment I feel completely at ease with some person or situation, then the next I feel like something is terribly wrong and I question if I am taking the right path.

I know I will get better. People have told me to not make any big decisions when you are feeling like this. But sometimes I just want to jump ship, run, and just get away. Sometimes it feels like the world is just caving in and all i want to do is get out, end all relationships, cut all ties, move away, and just start somewhere fresh and new. Sometimes it really feels like the Lord is telling me I won't be happy in my future because of the path i've chosen. or is that satan? or is that me? or is it really the Lord? I'm so confused!! All i can see right now is the pain and trouble on my side of the fence, and all the beautiful green grass on the other side of the fence.

Again, I just get so down, and I see how it affects those around me. More than that, I get very scared about the feelings it is producing inside. What if the Lord is trying to tell me something? How do I know what feelings are real???

Are you allowing yourself to feel? If your hiding your true self from others and not sharing with them. Then you are emotionally choking yourself. Lord leads us to freedom and that is the opposite of our own control on problems.

 

[.chrys.]

Hi CardFan! (BTW, I'm a Card Fan too!)

The vagueness of feeling you have is something I'm familiar with. I had a lot of changing emotions while on medication--a lot of questioning what was real and what wasn't. I can only say that with time, the emotions will start to get better--never completely "clear", but better.

Hugs for you!

 

[MrFreshdew]

Hey gang. I've been struggling lately. I feel like I'm making progress with the counselor and psychologist and all, but even when I feel like i've got it figured out, the depression still lingers. I could use a little encouragement...

I feel so down about so many things. It's like I can't find a "happy place", if you will. I love the Lord Jesus Christ with all my heart, and am leaning on Him, so even though it's difficult, I know that through Him I will get through this, but here lies the enigma...

I really can't figure out which feelings I have are true and which are just a product of the depression. So when I'm with a loved one or someone close to me and I don't really feel that love or joy anymore, I get really scared. I tend to focus on the reasons why I don't like to be with that person, rather than just loving them for who they are. Even with my fiance I find myself wondering if my feelings for her are real or not. I'm so confused. Sometimes it feels so real and I think, "Oh crap! I need to get out of this situation. What did i get myself into?" One moment I feel completely at ease with some person or situation, then the next I feel like something is terribly wrong and I question if I am taking the right path.

I know I will get better. People have told me to not make any big decisions when you are feeling like this. But sometimes I just want to jump ship, run, and just get away. Sometimes it feels like the world is just caving in and all i want to do is get out, end all relationships, cut all ties, move away, and just start somewhere fresh and new. Sometimes it really feels like the Lord is telling me I won't be happy in my future because of the path i've chosen. or is that satan? or is that me? or is it really the Lord? I'm so confused!! All i can see right now is the pain and trouble on my side of the fence, and all the beautiful green grass on the other side of the fence.

Again, I just get so down, and I see how it affects those around me. More than that, I get very scared about the feelings it is producing inside. What if the Lord is trying to tell me something? How do I know what feelings are real???

u can start by thinking about Jesus more in everything -prove that this verse is true 4 your life Isaiah 26:3 & ask Jesus 4 help

 

[cardfan1]

thanks for the replies guys. I do read my bible, and I have been asking Jesus for help everyday. I struggle, but I'm learning to trust in Him more as I go through this. I'm also learning a lot about myself I never would have known had I not been through this.

However, what I'm trying to say is that I get so confused right now about what I'm feeling and thinking. Things just aren't what they seem. It's like I can't discern whether my feelings are true or whether they are a product of the depression. I know that depression really messes with your emotional side - I guess I'm just venting a little. It's so frustrating!!

Anyway, thanks for your prayers. God bless.

 

[AWorkInProgress]

hehe totally understandible.

I been exploring emotional/creative side of me. It is pretty amazing, we don't breathe in oxygen to live. We breathe in love and when we are depleted of love. We feel dead inside. When we deny ourselves from letting our child within from being playful and loving the world like a child should. Just denies us the very air we breathe.

Had a intresting lesson on "overnurturing" others yesterday. Called a sister and poured my creative love to help quell the flames in her heart. Woke up feeling very depressed. Like the creative flame within me blew out. Working was easy yesterday morning, my emotional side was depleted. I felt like I couldn't breathe, even wrote a poem on it. I felt like I was suffocating that I that took early lunch and got to libruary where I could read. Once I understood that I spent too much energies on Deb the night before my candle was light again.

Emotional/creative energy is power within our heart, if we spend too much of it and not get any back. Can lead to depression.

Figured I share with ya bro.