What's on your mind?

[Senkaku]

@MotherFirefly hope everything is ok

 

[alsughasoughaiuyfygh]

My home life is getting worse. My mother is getting more neurotic and she booted me out of the house.

I called my stepfather who is out of town for work. He agrees that my mother is getting more anxiety, more moody, more irritable, more of a mental mess. She resorts to guilt trips and has a talent for deflecting any criticism off of her and onto anther person to make him/her look terrible. Stepfather even acknowledges this. She's very passive aggressive and always tries to make me feel like crap when she's stressed. Whenever I call her out on this, she tells me, "You just have a very guilty conscience." She's prone to yelling, screaming, and swearing. Every time we give her honest criticism, she plays victim and accuses us of trying to make her feel like a crap person. Ironically, she does this to us all the time. She accepts no responsibility for her actions.

Her neuroticism has driven me to the point of suicide three times and driven me to self harm. Every time I do so, she just tries to make me feel worse by insulting me, accusing me of trying to get attention, and even accused me of trying to get back at her once. She accepts no responsibility for her involvement in hurting me, acting as if she knows all. My stepfather and I notice that she can have a meltdown one time and act like nothing ever happened 20 minutes later.

Simply put: she is a miserable person.

Yesterday, we were eating something and a student living with us was eating this mushy stuff from the Philipines. My mother asked what it was and I told her to try it. She refused because she thought it looked disgusting. I started teasing her to try it like she would make me try foods I didn't want to try. She freaks out accusing me of trying to maker her out to be a bad mother. Over time it kept escalating to the point where I lost it and told her to get help. She responds by telling me I'm no longer welcomed in her house and tells me to leave until I can show her respect.

I'm at the bar later to eat something. She texts me saying that my 'mess' is at the front door and asked if I wanted my meds and clothes. I said yes. My father picks me up and we go back to her house to pick up my stuff. When I got there, I asked where my stuff was and she tells me that I can pack my own stuff and that I'm welcomed back. I took this as another mind game she's playing and told her I'm not playing this game. We argued some more and she told me that I'm being ignorant and that I'm like my alcoholic father. I told her she's being neurotic and needs to seek help and she screams at me to pack my things to leave, sounding like she's about to cry.

I'm now at my father's house on his laptop. I called my stepfather about the second encounter with mom and he tells me that she's trying to guilt trip me again like she normally does. We are thinking of trying to get her help because as stepfather mentioned, my mental state is getting better (believe it or not) while hers is getting worse.

Before you all tell me, "Wayholka, you lazy and immature failure at life, why don't you get your own place then??" Well for one, I have a disability that hinders my life. Second, I have physical health problems preventing me from working right now. Third, housing is incredibly expensive here. It cost at least $1,200 for a one bedroom apartment and they can jack up the prices how ever much they want at very short notice.

My mother needs help. The three of us in that house agree that there's something going on with her and it needs to end.

 

[CodyFaith]

Sorry to hear @Wayholka I'm glad you had somewhere to go though.

Psalms 27:9-10
Hide not thy face far from me; put not thy servant away in anger: thou hast been my help; leave me not, neither forsake me, O God of my salvation.
When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up.

This Psalm is saying that even people that are supposed to be the closest to us, our own parents, fail us. All humans fail, but God never fails. He always watches over us and is always there working for good in our life. He's our salvation, and he provides.

 

[Paulie079]

My home life is getting worse. My mother is getting more neurotic and she booted me out of the house.

I called my stepfather who is out of town for work. He agrees that my mother is getting more anxiety, more moody, more irritable, more of a mental mess. She resorts to guilt trips and has a talent for deflecting any criticism off of her and onto anther person to make him/her look terrible. Stepfather even acknowledges this. She's very passive aggressive and always tries to make me feel like crap when she's stressed. Whenever I call her out on this, she tells me, "You just have a very guilty conscience." She's prone to yelling, screaming, and swearing. Every time we give her honest criticism, she plays victim and accuses us of trying to make her feel like a crap person. Ironically, she does this to us all the time. She accepts no responsibility for her actions.

Her neuroticism has driven me to the point of suicide three times and driven me to self harm. Every time I do so, she just tries to make me feel worse by insulting me, accusing me of trying to get attention, and even accused me of trying to get back at her once. She accepts no responsibility for her involvement in hurting me, acting as if she knows all. My stepfather and I notice that she can have a meltdown one time and act like nothing ever happened 20 minutes later.

Simply put: she is a miserable person.

Yesterday, we were eating something and a student living with us was eating this mushy stuff from the Philipines. My mother asked what it was and I told her to try it. She refused because she thought it looked disgusting. I started teasing her to try it like she would make me try foods I didn't want to try. She freaks out accusing me of trying to maker her out to be a bad mother. Over time it kept escalating to the point where I lost it and told her to get help. She responds by telling me I'm no longer welcomed in her house and tells me to leave until I can show her respect.

I'm at the bar later to eat something. She texts me saying that my 'mess' is at the front door and asked if I wanted my meds and clothes. I said yes. My father picks me up and we go back to her house to pick up my stuff. When I got there, I asked where my stuff was and she tells me that I can pack my own stuff and that I'm welcomed back. I took this as another mind game she's playing and told her I'm not playing this game. We argued some more and she told me that I'm being ignorant and that I'm like my alcoholic father. I told her she's being neurotic and needs to seek help and she screams at me to pack my things to leave, sounding like she's about to cry.

I'm now at my father's house on his laptop. I called my stepfather about the second encounter with mom and he tells me that she's trying to guilt trip me again like she normally does. We are thinking of trying to get her help because as stepfather mentioned, my mental state is getting better (believe it or not) while hers is getting worse.

Before you all tell me, "Wayholka, you lazy and immature failure at life, why don't you get your own place then??" Well for one, I have a disability that hinders my life. Second, I have physical health problems preventing me from working right now. Third, housing is incredibly expensive here. It cost at least $1,200 for a one bedroom apartment and they can jack up the prices how ever much they want at very short notice.

My mother needs help. The three of us in that house agree that there's something going on with her and it needs to end.

Man, I'm so sorry for all of this. You are far from a failure. I really hope she gets help soon. As you said, she desperately needs it. I know it's hard for you, but I'm glad that you don't have to be in the same house with her.

 

[MotherFirefly]

It's been years since I have found myself in such an impossible situation... but this time around I have something new. God.

I am praying for a miracle.

 

[alsughasoughaiuyfygh]

Back at home. Things have calmed down for now.

Thank you all for your prayers.

 

[alsughasoughaiuyfygh]

It's been years since I have found myself in such an impossible situation... but this time around I have something new. God.

I am praying for a miracle.

Praying for you, sis!

 

[CodyFaith]

It's been years since I have found myself in such an impossible situation... but this time around I have something new. God.

I am praying for a miracle.

And that something makes all the difference in the world. He's always good to us. Praying things go the way you hope, but even if they don't go exactly as planned, remember he is good and remember he allows things to happen in our life for our benefit... even if it doesn't always seem like that's what's happening at the time.

Not to lose hope though, I've seen God pull things out of nowhere - he often does those things for us.

 

[CodyFaith]

OMM: Warm weather plz come back soon I love you I'm sorry for ever complaining of being too hot.

Sincerely, a cold Canadian.

 

[alsughasoughaiuyfygh]

OMM: Warm weather plz come back soon I love you I'm sorry for ever complaining of being too hot.

Sincerely, a cold Canadian.

It's in the pluses right now. It snows and then it melts over the week. Rinse and repeat.

 

[CodyFaith]

It's in the pluses right now. It snows and then it melts over the week. Rinse and repeat.

-2 right now here. Really shouldn't complain because apparently it's gonna be +7 tomorrow... just wish it would stay like that, no more back and forth lol

 

[alsughasoughaiuyfygh]

-2 right now here. Really shouldn't complain because apparently it's gonna be +7 tomorrow... just wish it would stay like that, no more back and forth lol

I'm not sure what part of the country you're in but here in Alberta, temperatures goes in extremes during summers and winters. During spring, it can be beautiful out one day and back to winter-like the next.

I always said that this country had bi-polar weather.

 

[PunkyChick]

I'm having going sober (medicinal) so I can hopefully be eligible for ECT. I'm not happy about this. They won't even tell me if I can get it without first being sober for a bit. I'm afraid of falling back into self harming. I broke my 18 year clean of self harm a month or two ago so it's a lot easier now. My evening breaks were all thats keeping me safe. Now they took that away from me I have no idea how to stop the thoughts. They just gave me something for sleep and said deal with it basically. My meds aren't working either. I feel horrible. I feel I won't be able to stay out of the hospital sober. Sorry just whining.

 

[CodyFaith]

I'm not sure what part of the country you're in but here in Alberta, temperatures goes in extremes during summers and winters. During spring, it can be beautiful out one day and back to winter-like the next.

I always said that this country had bi-polar weather.

I'm in Nova Scotia.

 

[EyesOfKohl]

I had a disagreement with my friend last night, ended up going to sleep not feeling good and had a terrible sleep.

Maybe it tells me that I actually care about her a lot.

 

[SarahsKnight]

I'm afraid of falling back into self harming. I broke my 18 year clean of self harm a month or two ago so it's a lot easier now.

Well, I don't think any of us here wants to see you go back into doing that, Punky. And no, no need to be sorry; you weren't just whining in that post. These are legit concerns.

 

[alsughasoughaiuyfygh]

 

[MehGuy]

Ok, that's enough Canada memes for today.

People can only handle so much.

 

[alsughasoughaiuyfygh]

Ok, that's enough Canada memes for today.

People can only handle so much.

Think about how we feel about American memes 24/7.

 

[sunshineforJesus]

Back at home. Things have calmed down for now.

Thank you all for your prayers.

Thank God things have calmed down now and I pray they continue to do so.