What's on your mind?

CodyFaith said:

Nvm I've decided it's best I don't take the job. Horribly stressful. World's not made for paranoid schizophrenics.

Click to expand...

What exactly was stressful about it? New jobs are always stressful and nerve wracking at first, but that typically calms down once you get the hang of it.

I feel a sudden urge to post cliches that you might see on an internet dating profile.

"I like all music except for rap and country."
"I'm not into organized religion, but I am very spiritual."
"What I'm often thinking about: my future."

CodyFaith said:

You're probably right. I honestly don't know where the stress comes from, because I handled the job pretty well... I just have this terrible feeling inside me right now that I can only describe as a shell-shock type of feeling, and I had it the last time I tried out a job as well. It doesn't seem like something I'd get 'used to' either, it's something that would be continually there if I continued I think. So yeah it's most likely from the people.

In either case

Click to expand...

I can understand how you feel, but you really should keep trying. Yeah, there will be plenty of stressful moments, but you can take your time and get comfortable with the position. Maybe request less busy hours for about a week. There are other jobs you can do there, such as cleaning crew. It's less crazy and you can go at your own pace.

.

TheGoodLight said:

I feel a sudden urge to post cliches that you might see on an internet dating profile.

"I like all music except for rap and country."
"I'm not into organized religion, but I am very spiritual."
"What I'm often thinking about: my future."

Click to expand...

Pretty good thread idea tbh.

TX_Matt said:

What exactly was stressful about it? New jobs are always stressful and nerve wracking at first, but that typically calms down once you get the hang of it.

Click to expand...

Nah man it's not normal type of stress. I wasn't even able to sleep last night due to the high level of shock/a shellshock like feeling. I don't know exactly what causes it but it happens every time I try to work.
It's not something I can "give a chance", its something I have to avoid like the plague. I don't want to get used to having that feeling or used to being in highly stressful environments, I've spent about a year calming down after living a literal hell and coming to a place where I am content/happy and most importantly, mentally stable.

I'll have to find another avenue and think of less stressful means to survive. I wish this wasn't the case but it just has to be this way.

.

Wayholka said:

.

Click to expand...

It is. We're here to make change in the world and be lights, then we're called home where we'll be in paradise for all eternity.

I read a verse last night that I found encouraging...talking about the Christian walk and specifically how the church was at the time I believe 2 Corinthians 6:10 "As sorrowful, yet always rejoicing: as poor, yet making many rich: as having nothing, and yet possessing all things."

We rejoice because we have eternal life and an everlasting relationship with God, we rejoice because our works make actual change in people's lives even if we can't see the fruit of such change. Even smiling at someone can change their life radically and we not know it.

Just know that God is good, always, and what he commands us to do (to love each other and love everyone) isn't in vain and has eternal purposes.

.

CodyFaith said:

Nah man it's not normal type of stress. I wasn't even able to sleep last night due to the high level of shock/a shellshock like feeling. I don't know exactly what causes it but it happens every time I try to work.
It's not something I can "give a chance", its something I have to avoid like the plague. I don't want to get used to having that feeling or used to being in highly stressful environments, I've spent about a year calming down after living a literal hell and coming to a place where I am content/happy and most importantly, mentally stable.

I'll have to find another avenue and think of less stressful means to survive. I wish this wasn't the case but it just has to be this way.

Click to expand...

Have you spoken to your doctor about this?

Wayholka said:

I was basically conscripted into a world war and sent behind enemy lines armed with only a BB gun.

Start praying to God to end my life. I'm done with this ministry.

Click to expand...

David was armed with just a sling and a stone against Goliath. God uses the weak things, the small things to shame the large and strong.

TX_Matt said:

Have you spoken to your doctor about this?

Click to expand...

I'll bring it up to my psychiatrist the next time I see him, but no I havent yet.

.

.

Wayholka said:

I am getting increasingly disgusted with humanity.

I have recently gave up trying to help a world that looks at me with contempt. Nothing I do is ever good enough for people and I feel that God doesn't care either. It's difficult trying to use my gifts and talents to serve when the only people Christians seem to care about are preachers and musicians. The secular world is even worse.

I'm also starting to feel less and less welcomed on this site. It's funny, Jesus preached all these things to show love and support for the lowly and the hurting and yet most Christians run away from such people, thinking that someone like me is a threat to their community's reputation. It's a blessed thing that I know a lot about Bible Prophecy to have all the proof I need to believe in God. Otherwise, I would said to forget it. People can not handle my differences with their conceited little minds.

I'm also coming to accept that maybe God's love is not equal. Maybe He does love some more than others, hence why some have easier lives than others no matter how evil they are.

Life just simply isn't worth it...

Click to expand...

It's funny, and sad, because it's true. I've met plenty of Christians that follow Christ, but I've met few who actually get it. People like to talk about love as simply doing acts of kindness, but that's further from the truth. The love that God has for all humanity, including you, the love that's talked about in scripture that we should strive for in our interactions with each other, is so incredibly deep that we can't fathom it. It's so radical that it doesn't make sense to many people, including Christians. The entire message of scripture is this: "God equally, unconditionally, radically loves everyone one us, and nothing we ever do will change that. Therefore, love God with everything that you are and love your neighbor as yourself." That's it, that's the gospel and teachings of scripture. I've often noticed that many people don't get that last part, they think it just means do be kind to others, and so the read the Greatest Commands as saying "Love God with every part of your being, and be kind to each other, but also don't do this, that, and all of those other things." That's not what Jesus says, Jesus said "ALL of the law and prophets hang on these two commandments."

What happens when people don't get that, and thing that loving others is just one of many commandments instead of everything, can look like what you are talking about. It's much easier to say "We don't want to associate with THOSE people, but as long as we're nice to them, we're loving." That's not love, that's being kind, but kindness is a part of love. Jesus wasn't just kind to tax collectors and sinners, He associated with them. The reason why it's hard for us humans is our comfort zones, we don't like leaving them, but God does not care about our comfort zones. The Holy Spirit is called a comforter not just to comfort us during hard times, but to comfort us when we are outside of our comfort zones, thus expanding them.

I'm not claiming to have all the answers or that I'm perfect at this, I wouldn't include myself as someone who truly gets the gospel, there are still barriers that need to be broken down and mentalities that need to be fixed, but that's why salvation is called a process. The people who do get it, with a few exceptions, are not the people in the spotlights, but the ones furthest from it because that's where the frontlines of bringing the Kingdom of God to Earth are, on the fringes of society.

CodyFaith said:

I'll bring it up to my psychiatrist the next time I see him, but no I havent yet.

Click to expand...

Oh okay, I would recommend that.

Wayholka said:

Yes, God thinks that way but humans do not. Like I said, even Christians only honor the strong like charismatic preachers and talented musicians, not a messed up subhuman like me.

Hell, if I never made any drawings for this forum, would ANYONE want to have me around? Of course not! People do not care about your character, only what you can offer them. This has given many people a twisted view of God and thus left the faith because of all the hypocrisy.

Click to expand...

Why care what sinful humans think/do? I mean don't get me wrong I believe in the value of having a community of believers and going to church and being a part of the church local and global church, but at the end of the day I put no confidence in man and couldn't care less what other sinful people think of me.

Haters are everywhere, especially towards the meek of the earth - we are most hated its just our culture that pretends like we aren't when in reality we are. 21st century western worlds are an illusion. Christ said we would be hated by the world - and since what Christ says is always true we shouldn't buy into this acceptance culture illusion.

As for other Christians, you're right, they do look towards the strong often. You're right, they do fail. We aren't to put our confidence in each other in the sense that we won't dissapoint each other. We are one in Christ though, and members of the same body. We are to love even when love is not coming our way.

I need to start thinking about things...

I apologize for all this...

OK, I apologize, guys. Jeshu had to knock some sense into me regarding my latest anxiety attacks.

I especially want to apologize to @ReesePiece23 for making him feel attacked in another thread. Life isn't going so well for me at the moment.

I'm going to make a request I hope isn't too selfish. I'm going to ask you all to pray to God to help me better my mental health and to help me stop having such a cynical view of this world. It's been eating me up for years now and I think it's time for some changes. More exercise, more participation in real life, those sort of things.

Life sucks for me right now but I hope I can help remedy some of the symptoms over the summer. All I can do is try.

Wayholka said:

I'm falling apart right now... I think I'm overstaying my welcome here...

Please, God, just end it...

Click to expand...

Huh?

No one has a problem with you here.