What's on your mind?

[Swan7]

OMM: feeling like the Prophets quite often.

 

[CodyFaith]

Anyway just wanna say to all those he sharpened his arrows against, that they're both loved by God and myself and that my life has been truly brightened by joining this forum and community in Christ.

 

[Swan7]

And that's the truth!

 

[LoveDivine]

.

 

[James of Arc]

.

 

[LoveDivine]

.

 

[James of Arc]

.

 

[MehGuy]

I hope you don't leave. I've always enjoyed reading your posts. Even if people do not respond to them, doesn't mean people don't appreciate them.

 

[OcifferPls]

[Redacted]

https://imgur.com/ozIkg1M

Ok. I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve, and frankly, I'm one of the most frank and straight-forward persons here. So much so, you may as well call me frank. It causes me a lot of problems, but that's not ever going to change. As such I have a few things to say.

[Redacted]

Even though I've contributed to these forums for 12 years, I have been one of those people. I spoke up and complained when I both witnessed threats of violence, and received threatening messages here myself. It can be downright frightening at times. My response to that is: my complaints are not going to stop. Act in malicious ways (whomever that applies to), and brace yourself to reap consequences.

I get that there are sub-communities here. I have no problems with there being a Catholic community, an Orthodox community, or a Lutheran community, etc. I have no problem with people being in those communities, and not being fully included in those communities myself. But there is something different about singles. I can explore and post and interact in most sub-forums here in a stimulating way, and even make friends as I have occasionally, problem free for the most part, except in singles. The problem is not that groups of friends exist so much as some groups of friends behaving in ways that are not conducive to the interests of the larger community. I don't think it's too much to ask to stop the harassment, and to ask people to behave like adults and be civil.

Unfortunately, as complicated as this is, one can only theorize as to why it can be so hostile at times. I can offer my best guess, but being outside of the "cliques," that's all I have. I know there have been problematic individuals over the years. Some of them do come back occasionally to cause trouble. I know I've been treated as such when others suspected me of being one, although I know of nothing I have done to be labeled as such. That being the case, the community here (being mostly limited to CF singles for some reason), carries memory, i.e., baggage. Further, there is no way to "clear the air," to address grievances, or to prove one's innocence. With little to no due process, all of that breeds paranoia, secrecy, and toxic interactions, generally speaking (which is a big reason why it is I am so frank here to begin with -- I feel no need to be in other sub-forums).

That being said, it is my opinion, formed through experience, that this community has problems. It's frightening sometimes, and can be genuinely harmful, especially to those who aren't acclimated to it and don't know what they're getting themselves into. If you want a happy, healthy CF Singles community, you all need to change the way you do things.

@James of Arc :

I wish we had this conversation a long time ago. As someone outside of most if not all cliques myself, I was always under the impression that you were somehow a part of it, and I often felt like you were mimicking and trying to mock me, so that I would be discouraged from posting here. If that wasn't the case, then you have my apologies for misjudging you.

[Redacted]

 

[alsughasoughaiuyfygh]

So I woke up to find that James of Arc gave me all his Blessings and I see all these blank posts in this thread.

What the heck happened??

 

[OcifferPls]

In short:

https://imgur.com/EvdKT3S

https://imgur.com/jwbbET1

https://imgur.com/JGfg1u1

https://imgur.com/pL3NJOn

https://imgur.com/At9PBTZ

 

[Swan7]

It's been dealt with, that's all I can say.

 

[leothelioness]

Edited due to forum rules.

 

[LoveDivine]

[Redacted]

https://imgur.com/ozIkg1M

Ok. I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve, and frankly, I'm one of the most frank and straight-forward persons here. So much so, you may as well call me frank. It causes me a lot of problems, but that's not ever going to change. As such I have a few things to say.

[Redacted]

Even though I've contributed to these forums for 12 years, I have been one of those people. I spoke up and complained when I both witnessed threats of violence, and received threatening messages here myself. It can be downright frightening at times. My response to that is: my complaints are not going to stop. Act in malicious ways (whomever that applies to), and brace yourself to reap consequences.

I get that there are sub-communities here. I have no problems with there being a Catholic community, an Orthodox community, or a Lutheran community, etc. I have no problem with people being in those communities, and not being fully included in those communities myself. But there is something different about singles. I can explore and post and interact in most sub-forums here in a stimulating way, and even make friends as I have occasionally, problem free for the most part, except in singles. The problem is not that groups of friends exist so much as some groups of friends behaving in ways that are not conducive to the interests of the larger community. I don't think it's too much to ask to stop the harassment, and to ask people to behave like adults and be civil.

Unfortunately, as complicated as this is, one can only theorize as to why it can be so hostile at times. I can offer my best guess, but being outside of the "cliques," that's all I have. I know there have been problematic individuals over the years. Some of them do come back occasionally to cause trouble. I know I've been treated as such when others suspected me of being one, although I know of nothing I have done to be labeled as such. That being the case, the community here (being mostly limited to CF singles for some reason), carries memory, i.e., baggage. Further, there is no way to "clear the air," to address grievances, or to prove one's innocence. With little to no due process, all of that breeds paranoia, secrecy, and toxic interactions, generally speaking (which is a big reason why it is I am so frank here to begin with -- I feel no need to be in other sub-forums).

That being said, it is my opinion, formed through experience, that this community has problems. It's frightening sometimes, and can be genuinely harmful, especially to those who aren't acclimated to it and don't know what they're getting themselves into. If you want a happy, healthy CF Singles community, you all need to change the way you do things.

@James of Arc :

I wish we had this conversation a long time ago. As someone outside of most if not all cliques myself, I was always under the impression that you were somehow a part of it, and I often felt like you were mimicking and trying to mock me, so that I would be discouraged from posting here. If that wasn't the case, then you have my apologies for misjudging you.

[Redacted]

I understand where you are coming from. I do have a thought I wanted to share with everyone. It's January of 2017. It's a new year and a chance for a new start. I know lots of fights and drama have occurred in Singles over the years and many left due to the drama. It's easy to hold onto bad feelings and feel bitter towards others who have harmed us. If there is an issue in Singles, it is not past bad behavior, but rather the constant opening of old wounds. There are quite a few new members that have had nothing to do with all the drama. They aren't part of any clique ( they are just enjoying the forum as we all did when we first joined). As hurt as some former members may be it is a mistake to post rants on the forum. Most of the new members aren't the guilty ones anyways, and they shouldn't be dragged into it. I think if we are honest, most of us are conscious of having been too quick to post at times and having said some regrettable things ourselves. I think we need to be willing to let things go and move on. If someone is untrustworthy or has threatened members, we can report them to the mods and move on. If we focus on interacting with the members we enjoy and ignore or avoid fights with the ones we don't agree with, we can have a much friendlier atmosphere in Singles. The responsibility to avoid drama starts with each one of us

 

[Saucy]

As the CF veteran, I see this issue pop up more than any other. Yes, it sucks feeling like you're being left out. I've even had my own rants in these parts in the past. But I have to say, I really don't think anyone on CF sets out to leave anyone by the wayside.

We all have our own various interests, share certain chemistry with some more than others, and have our own busy lives. Yes, we are a community and I genuinely think everyone here cares enough to be there for you if you're struggling, need a kind word, or a kick in the butt.

Regardless of who you are or your past, you're welcome here. If you're new, it's just like moving to a new school. There are already groups of friends who exist here and we can try our best to make you feel welcome, but some of that work is on you as well. There will naturally be a barrier until we get to know you better. There's no disrespect intended by any of us.

 

[alsughasoughaiuyfygh]

As the CF veteran, I see this issue pop up more than any other. Yes, it sucks feeling like you're being left out. I've even had my own rants in these parts in the past. But I have to say, I really don't think anyone on CF sets out to leave anyone by the wayside.

We all have our own various interests, share certain chemistry with some more than others, and have our own busy lives. Yes, we are a community and I genuinely think everyone here cares enough to be there for you if you're struggling, need a kind word, or a kick in the butt.

Regardless of who you are or your past, you're welcome here. If you're new, it's just like moving to a new school. There are already groups of friends who exist here and we can try our best to make you feel welcome, but some of that work is on you as well. There will naturally be a barrier until we get to know you better. There's no disrespect intended by any of us.

Yeah, I admit I have felt like the black sheep of the flock on here as well so I can understand why he would feel that way. I'm thinking there's something going on in his life and he was trying to find something on here that he wasn't getting in real life. He was good to me so I can't really complain about him.

I hope he finds peace. I think it's wrong to judge a person before taking a walk in his or her shoes. When a person feels rejected and mistreated all his life, he's eventually going to lash out in some way. Maybe this was the case for him, maybe it's something else. Either way, I hope the best for him in the future.

 

[Toro]

 

[OcifferPls]

I just logged into my old skype account for the first time in ages. It was locked due to too many unsuccessful log in attempts, which is interesting. But, I still have Saucy, Kittysbecute and someone else who I used to play online games with on my contact list

I never got into the skype thing very much.

 

[alsughasoughaiuyfygh]

Also, to those who feel like people don't care about you because everyone else's attention are on those with more desirable traits that God gave them, just remember this beatitude:

"Woe to you when everyone speaks well of you, for that is how their ancestors treated the false prophets." ~ Luke 6:26

Prominence in church does not imply prominence in God's heart.

 

[Swan7]

Sounds like the church I left.