What's on your mind?

[mojoboy31]

You have no idea how me that is. When my dad's heart stopped in the hospital, I had to pull the emergency cord, and had to call my mom to tell her what was happening and console her, while an administrator came to tell me how long they'd keep working on him before giving up. After the phone call, the tech had me sit with her behind the desk. She told me she couldn't believe how calm I'd been. If a nighshift nurse thinks you're stoic, you're probably pretty stoic. lol. To paraphrase John Wayne movies, courage ain't about never being scared-- courage is being scared to death and saddlin' up anyway.

No matter how close I am to people, I still feel like an outsider. I'm never in on 'inside' jokes or part of any fun get-togethers...they always expect me to call them, but they never call me. I'm always welcome to hanging out and/or giving an ear or shoulder when need be, but I'm the last person they'd call on for help or company.

I'm not angry...and I'm not lonely. I just feel...empty and useless.

I know how that feels. Always feeling on the outside looking in, participating to a degree, but not quite part of the group the way others are. It's horrible feeling like that. It isn't your fault or flaw- it's inconsiderate friends. Friendships should not be one way streets where one person has to make all the effort or communication dries up.

You're not useless, don't let them make you feel that way.

 

[Swan7]

No matter how close I am to people, I still feel like an outsider. I'm never in on 'inside' jokes or part of any fun get-togethers...they always expect me to call them, but they never call me. I'm always welcome to hanging out and/or giving an ear or shoulder when need be, but I'm the last person they'd call on for help or company.

I'm not angry...and I'm not lonely. I just feel...empty and useless.

Awww Im sorry my squeaky friend.

You may feel empty and useless, but you arent. You're friends with the Toro so I know. Maybe some day Swan&Toro can hang out with the Squeaky.

Absolutely! No one should be left alone. No man should be alone, so the same goes for women

 

[TheRealAriel]

OMM: I have GOT to start running again. I want to run a marathon in January and I've totally stopped running in the midst of this move. Somebody has got to badger me tomorrow to make sure I run

Also OMM: All I want to do right now is cuddle and eat ice cream and watch Lost.

 

[Swan7]

Ahh running...


How I miss it.

 

[TheRealAriel]

Ooh- also.. mental debate and maybe I can get an opinion...

My one year dating anniversary with bae is coming up in three weeks and I secretly coordinated with one of our mutual friends me flying up to where he lives and getting him to unsuspectingly meet me at one of our spots on our anniversary. I bought tickets for this like a month ago and we already have our fake plan in place to get bae to our spot that day without knowing.

Well today mutual friend texts me and advises me to make it clear I'm busy all the weekends in August. Bae is apparently trying to coordinate a surprise flight to come see me that day too. I keep talking about all these fake plans I have coming up to Bae, but he doesn't seem to be reacting and I'm not sure if he will end up just buying a ticket and showing up knowing that I'd cancel my silly "plans" to spend a day or two with him.

The debate is, do I trust that he's not going to go for it and let it go or do I spoil the surprise and tell him outright not to buy a ticket because I wouldn't be here?

 

[mojoboy31]

Ooh- also.. mental debate and maybe I can get an opinion...

My one year dating anniversary with bae is coming up in three weeks and I secretly coordinated with one of our mutual friends me flying up to where he lives and getting him to unsuspectingly meet me at one of our spots on our anniversary. I bought tickets for this like a month ago and we already have our fake plan in place to get bae to our spot that day without knowing.

Well today mutual friend texts me and advises me to make it clear I'm busy all the weekends in August. Bae is apparently trying to coordinate a surprise flight to come see me that day too. I keep talking about all these fake plans I have coming up to Bae, but he doesn't seem to be reacting and I'm not sure if he will end up just buying a ticket and showing up knowing that I'd cancel my silly "plans" to spend a day or two with him.

The debate is, do I trust that he's not going to go for it and let it go or do I spoil the surprise and tell him outright not to buy a ticket because I wouldn't be here?

You done got yourself in a pickle

Not sure what to recommend. Maybe get your friend to play the 'I need guys night, man' card and create fake plans with your guy?

 

[SarahsKnight]

Reese, you're listening to Taylor Swift. Why is this?

Goooood question. That "Style"song is fairly good, though.

 

[SarahsKnight]

I'm not angry...and I'm not lonely. I just feel...empty and useless.

But I am sure that you aren't, Squeakers.

 

[ReesePiece23]

Goooood question. That "Style"song is fairly good, though.

If you ever watch the video to that, you'll notice that she has her lips pursed for the entire video.

Either that, or she actually can't close her mouth.

 

[SarahsKnight]

Nah, never saw the video. Music videos usually suck, so ...

 

[Travelers.Soul]

Well, it's been an interesting day. hahahaha. Let's hope I never have another one like it.

 

[ReesePiece23]

Well, it's been an interesting day. hahahaha. Let's hope I never have another one like it.

You like leaving a post on a cliffhanger don't you?

 

[Travelers.Soul]

You like leaving a post on a cliffhanger don't you?

I do what I can.

 

[CodyFaith]

I sometimes wish I could maintain my heart. What I mean by this is, some times I get in really compassionate and altruistic modes, where all I want is to care for others. Often times I'm alone at home when I get in these modes and try to pour this out online as best as possible because I have no other outlet, but it's unfortunate that I don't feel this at all times... because if I did, I think I could make a noticeable difference in the world... if even just by smiling at people.

I think of the quote from Anne Frank, how wonderful it is that noone has to wait a single moment before improving the world, and wish I could have this attitude at all times.

I find though, the less I'm suffering, the more I'm able to be a light. And I have been suffering quite a bit the past few months, so maybe that's why I haven't been able to love others as much. Human nature I suppose, to at times put one's own needs as top priority, exception being parents with children and things like that.

Anyway, haha.

 

[chuck77]

I like pizza.

 

[LadyOfMystery]

Ooh- also.. mental debate and maybe I can get an opinion...

My one year dating anniversary with bae is coming up in three weeks and I secretly coordinated with one of our mutual friends me flying up to where he lives and getting him to unsuspectingly meet me at one of our spots on our anniversary. I bought tickets for this like a month ago and we already have our fake plan in place to get bae to our spot that day without knowing.

Well today mutual friend texts me and advises me to make it clear I'm busy all the weekends in August. Bae is apparently trying to coordinate a surprise flight to come see me that day too. I keep talking about all these fake plans I have coming up to Bae, but he doesn't seem to be reacting and I'm not sure if he will end up just buying a ticket and showing up knowing that I'd cancel my silly "plans" to spend a day or two with him.

The debate is, do I trust that he's not going to go for it and let it go or do I spoil the surprise and tell him outright not to buy a ticket because I wouldn't be here?

Tell him you want to do a skype date with him and you have something super special for him (yourself at that spot), and plan it an hour LATER than what you've planned for the time you're going to meet him in person. Tell him this is super important to you, he won't be able to make up an excuse to not be there because either he'll have to give up his plans, or you guys will have the skype date... you where he's suppose to be, and him where you're suppose to be. lol

Just don't stress about it so much where it becomes unfun. See if the skype date idea works, and then go from there. If you guys end up in different locations on your anniversary it may end up as a good story for the wedding

 

[SarahsKnight]

I sometimes wish I could maintain my heart. What I mean by this is, some times I get in really compassionate and altruistic modes, where all I want is to care for others. Often times I'm alone at home when I get in these modes and try to pour this out online as best as possible because I have no other outlet, but it's unfortunate that I don't feel this at all times... because if I did, I think I could make a noticeable difference in the world... if even just by smiling at people.

I think of the quote from Anne Frank, how wonderful it is that noone has to wait a single moment before improving the world, and wish I could have this attitude at all times.

I find though, the less I'm suffering, the more I'm able to be a light. And I have been suffering quite a bit the past few months, so maybe that's why I haven't been able to love others as much. Human nature I suppose, to at times put one's own needs as top priority, exception being parents with children and things like that.

Anyway, haha.

Well, not that your suffering right now is a good thing, but, the way you think in this post indicates you are on the right track in my opinion, sir.

 

[TheRealAriel]

Somehow I went down the internet rabbit hole tonight and have been watching Marina Joyce conspiracy videos... this is so insanely creepy.

 

[SarahsKnight]

At work yesterday night during lunch I was sort of tuning in to the Democratic National Convention coverage on TV, much to my own semi-horror just like when i found myself listening to what was going on during the Republican convention. Because this time, I found myself hearing something just as awful in its own way as Trump opening his mouth at speech time; celebrities who support Hillary Clinton were doing a collaborative rendition of Rachel Platten's "Fight Song". And man did it suck. Not gonna lie.

 

[CodyFaith]

Somehow I went down the internet rabbit hole tonight and have been watching Marina Joyce conspiracy videos... this is so insanely creepy.

Not doin' it. Was going to do it, decided not too, too creeped out with just the opening videos.

"Conspiracies" are real yo.