What would you do?

[Sojourner<><]

The situation:

You've found someone that you know God has guided you to.
You've been in an intimate relationship before, but a long time ago, so you have certain desires that were not there before, if you know what I mean.
As a man, you're not quite where you would ideally be in life to be ready for a marriage, but you feel like this special someone may be able to help you get there.

The question:

What do you think? Would you get married and not risk falling into sin and trust in the Lord to help you get to where you need to be in life? Or would you put yourself through the excruciating agony of waiting for years until you have a career and every stupid duck in a row?

 

[Sojourner<><]

Wow, that was very blunt. Have you ever been separated from your husband for a long period of time? In other words, do you know what it's like to have that special 'oneness' separated and then having to live like that for any number of years?

By the way I don't appreciate you telling me I want to marry just for sex. That devalues the person I'm interested in.

I'm not looking for excuses to profane God's good creation in the future. I'm trying to deal with my problems in the best possible way while taking the least painful route. What's wrong with that?

So would you say that the apostle paul was wrong in saying that it's better to marry than to burn with passion? If not, then I'm wondering what others think is a rational balance between marrying for this reason as prescribed in the Bible and the modern notions of a man's ability to marry. Remember that in Biblical times marriages were arranged even in childhood, careers were inherited, etc and so forth.

Now, consider the idea of this being God's will. I know God led me to my present girlfriend and I feel that quite possibly she might be meant to help me as I have and will continue to help her (I'm not talking financially but with things like self-discipline. She is very regimented and could definately whip me into shape if she wanted.). If this happened to you, would this change things and why?

Ok consider this ... Have you ever seen that movie serendipity (I think that's what it's called... the one about the soulmates meeting). Ok well this is alot like what happened with me and my g/f, not kidding. At the end of the movie though you don't see the dude say.. 'oh **** I just met my soulmate and now I can't really be with her for 3 or 4 years because I don't have my career under my belt yet.' That would be totally lame and goes against everything that's in my heart. But, of course that's what most 'sane' people would probably think if this actually happened to them in the real world. Or at least that's the impression I have. Am I insane or what?

 

[Inperfected]

Hey My question is what do you mean by you haven't got your life "ideally" sorted yet.

Me myself, when i get married, i'm still going to have 3 years of study ahead of me (maybe) and also a whole lotta learning of many things, but tho we haven't got our "stupid ducks in a row" we do have the major things sorted, such as how we'll support ourselves, what we want, and why. Without this it would be very difficult.

 

[Sojourner<><]

Hey My question is what do you mean by you haven't got your life "ideally" sorted yet.

That's a good question. Tell you the truth, I'm not exactly sure that I have the answer to that yet, which is part of my problem.

Here's a quick summary of my life as of recent years. I've screwed alot of things up in my past, mostly before I started pursuing God's will for my life. I once was on track with a good job and school, etc. However, I began feeling totally depressed about myself because there was no reason in life. Eventually I became so depressed I quit school and my job out of desperation for something else and that's when I received my call from the Lord. Then I started to follow after Him but it hasn't been a bed of roses (and it's my understanding that it rarely is especially in the beginning). So basically I have been depending on the Lord alot and very little in myself for about a year now. This, however, is not the popular manly approach to life in American culture which most women look for as an attractive quality in a guy. I don't have control over much of anything right now and I don't know exactly where this is going.

So, that's basically what I mean by not having things all together.

 

[Inperfected]

Honestly, and i mite get burnt for saying it, that is the sort of quality many girls, including myself have looked for in a guy... Be careful you don't take relying on god as not sorted in life, but at the same time, make sure that you keep your depression under control...

On here, we know you in some senses, but not in all by any means! i personally think you should talk to someone you know well, or at least who knows you, and ask them there opinion on you being ready for marriage, and don't rely on just one, gain a couple of ideas..

 

[Sojourner<><]

Ok. Thanks for the ego boost Imperfected!

Believe me tho I'm not really relying on CF for all my marriage advice. I would just like to know what other people would do in this situation.