What would you do in this situation?

[LN]

I am a freelance photographer specializing in weddings and portraits.  Today I got a phone call from another wedding photographer in the area asking me if I was available for a date he is booked in August for a committment ceremony.  The wedding is for a lesbian couple.  I told him I'd think about it and thanked him for contacting me first before giving them my information.

What would you do in this situation?  I do not want to be discriminatory by any means, but I am really having a hard time feeling good about accepting a wedding like this. 

 

[nomad]

I also own and operate my own business and understand the need to feel like you are doing the right thing before God.

I usually ask myself "what would Jesus do?"  In this case I don't think He would.

Legally you are not discriminating because of your religious beliefs.  This is protected by the Constitution.

I suppose they could say you are discriminating but a court that upheld a decision against you would be discrimnating against you.

I would simply tell them no and tell them why.

I really believe that you would be adding "fuel to the fire" that is destroying the family structure in our society.

I am a staunch supporter of the family structure created by our Father.

 

[forjesus]

Amen, I agree. I to own my own business and by doing that it gives us the ability to say no to certain situations. I would not do this ceremony. I can't imagine two people of the same sex standing before a minister and being married. It is wrong according to Gods word. What kind of pastor or minister performs these things. I will pray for your decision. Keep us posted.

 

[LN]

I'm sure its a judge marrying them, not a minister or pastor. I've decided not to do it. Fortuantely I do not have to contact them directly, since it was a referral from another photographer and he (thankfully) contacted me first before giving them my name. So I just told him "thanks, but I'm a Christain and it goes against my beliefs." My fear is the day that I have to tell someone "no" directly - there are all sorts of wedding boards like this one and I can just imagine people going on there and saying I'm a discriminatory photographer. yikes!

 

[Didymus]

I woooould have sai no i can t do it I would not have given a reason unless asked. maybe that s being chicken but they don t have to know why.

 

[nomad]

Didymus I strongly disagree because if she doesn't give reason there would be no "evidence" of support for her claim of christianity as being the reason and intent.

LN thankyou so much for making the decision you have made.

I am going over to "Focus on the Families" website to see if I can't find some links that will help you get rid of your fears.  I really understand why you are afraid and I think if you are armed with a little knowledge it may help you alot.

I am going to ask God that He give you a special blessing for your courage and that He strengthen you even more.

Really, Thank YOU!!!!

 

[LN]

Yes any information you could find woud be helpful. I can imagine that this type of thing is a ticking time bomb for a court lawsuit.

Didymus - I could not avoid the reason even if I wanted to. I'm sure the conversation would go something like this:

Client: Hello I'm calling about a wedding. Are you available on August 20th of 2003?
Me: yes, I am. Thank you for calling me.
Client: Its a committment ceremony - is that a probelm?
Me: (have to figure out what to say here that expresses my beliefs without getting sued).

 

[Didymus]

i can see where if that was the conversation you woould have had a problem. i could tell you to lie and say oop I am booked for that day but that would not be telling you to sin. I have never been in this situation aaand I don t know what your legal rights are.

 

[seebs]

Well, I'd rather see people pairing off monogamously than not, so I'd take the photos. YMMV.

You're obviously not obliged to take the job, but it seems silly not to. It's pretty hypocritical of us to complain about promiscuity among homosexual people, then refuse to tolerate any kind of committment among them.

 

[nomad]

LN,

It's going to take me awhile to find the links since what I have researched in the past is in my head the links are long gone.

But here is a starter I want to give to you.

First if you don't have a copy of the United States Constitution get one and keep it on your computor and read through it.  Those are your rights.

Second. http://www.family.org/cforum/ is a place you can sign up for a newsletter that is emailed to you.  It is kind of like a newspaper with current events and mainly deals with the "law and politics" atmosphere.  This is an excellent source of learning  and imformation from a christian perspective.

I'll post some other goodies for you later.

 

[Didymus]

this above all to your own self be true.

 

[seebs]

No, no, no. You're *freelance*. You can refuse clients for any reason. You can refuse them 'cuz you don't like lesbians, or because you think the stars are in a bad position that day, or because you were going to spend the day waxing your fine oriental cats. No legal liabilities.

Don't worry, gay people are used to being insulted and derided. They won't take it very personally.

 

[seebs]

Today at 02:27 PM Didymus said this in Post #11 (http://www.christianforums.com/showthread.php?postid=703353#post703353)

this above all to your own self be true.

Excellent advise, but often very disturbing when other people follow it.

 

[nomad]

seebs,

You have a lot to learn

 

No, no, no. You're *freelance*. You can refuse clients for any reason. You can refuse them 'cuz you don't like lesbians, or because you think the stars are in a bad position that day, or because you were going to spend the day waxing your fine oriental cats. No legal liabilities.

Gays and lesbians are suing for just about anything these days to promote their cause including trying to make it so our courts are forced to recognize their ungodly union as a marriage.

There are already states and companies that have adopted discrimination policies with respect to sexual orientation.  In LNs case I wouldn't be as concerned with the reaction of the lesbian couple but the discrimination she may face by the "board" for following her beliefs as a good christian.  So you are wrong about what you say.

 

Well, I'd rather see people pairing off monogamously than not, so I'd take the photos. YMMV.

Very unwise.  Go back and read my posts.  I suppose if a couple came to you saying that they wanted you to take pictures of them shooting each other you would.  It is not good to encourage bad behavior

 

[LN]

Its just such an interesting discussion - I'd love to hear more thoughts. I mean I don't turn down weddings that are non-Christain even though in theory I don't agree with them. Because of my Christain vews, a judge marrying a couple seems like a formailty than anything else. But I treat all my clients the same regardless. I certainly would never want to be hypocritical or disrespectful - its important to me to treat everyone with love and respect. I have already said no to this couple, but I am not looking forward to the day that I have to have a conversation like the one above.

 

[LN]

Ok - another random thought. I am pro-marriage regardless weather they are Christian or not: God can work in their hearts after marriage and that is my prayer for all my clients. But that cannot take place in a same-sex marriage unless they repent and separate. That is the difference.

 

[nomad]

I do to LN with respect to treating people equally.  I have had lesbian and gay aquaintances in the past but they know how I feel about what they are doing very clearly.  I love them and hate their sin.  They also know that in no way will I cast them out just because of what they do.  But they also are very clear that I in no way am going to encourage their behavior.

 

[nomad]

Ok - another random thought. I am pro-marriage regardless weather they are Christian or not: God can work in their hearts after marriage and that is my prayer for all my clients. But that cannot take place in a same-sex marriage unless they repent and separate. That is the difference.

We think the same way with respect to marriage.  You put this in words better than I could have.

 

[spirituality]

Today at 05:14 PM LN said this in Post #1

I am a freelance photographer specializing in weddings and portraits.  Today I got a phone call from another wedding photographer in the area asking me if I was available for a date he is booked in August for a committment ceremony.  The wedding is for a lesbian couple.  I told him I'd think about it and thanked him for contacting me first before giving them my information.

What would you do in this situation?  I do not want to be discriminatory by any means, but I am really having a hard time feeling good about accepting a wedding like this. 

I think that it vis your resonsibility as a photographer to do the job without prejudice.  Remember we are not to judge and we are not to shun others...  Jesus welcomed everyone and it is our job to do the same.  sure they may be different but so was mary magdelene (not a lesbian obviously but still "different").  If what they are doing is right or not is not up to us to decide, that is up to god to decide when their time comes.  He is the judge not us.

If it was a "normal" couple wedding on that date would you do it?  If yes then I dont think you should make an exeption just because they are different.


Well just my opinion!

I hope you make the right decision

God Bless,

~Spirituality

 

[nomad]

Remember we are not to judge and we are not to shun others

Refusing to not support or in this case take pictures of an act that is sinful is not judgemental or shunning someone.  It merely is act that says I love you and I don't and won't support your sin.

If your children have done something wrong are you going to support it by saying it's okay by affirming it with a picture in this case.  Of course not.  You will persuade them not to do what is wrong.  Does that mean you don't love them if you don't support their act of transgression.  You know it doesn't.  Have you judged them, no, you have merely discerned this is wrong and have taken proper steps to correct it.

I suggest if you are going to apply the Word of God then know what the intent of it was before doing so.