What Would YOU Do If . . .?

[OphidiaPhile]

I would tell them it does not change how I feel about them and that it is a non issue because who they are as a person is what is important and thank them for trusting our relationship enough to be open about it.

 

[TheBear]

Yeah, as long as they didn't bring their gay partner or whatever you call it around.

And if their partner, "or whatever you call it", was in a car accident and in critical condition at the hospital, would you be there to offer support and comfort for your gay son/daughter?

 

[angellica]

Why so? Please, BE specific ...I'm here to learn.

I'm not sure what you're asking, but I don't think that when a person announces they are gay for the first time, much less to their parents, that it is just a minor issue.

 

[angellica]

And if their partner, "or whatever you call it", was in a car accident and in critical condition at the hospital, would you be there to offer support and comfort for your gay son/daughter?

I have no idea. I may not be there in person, but I would be there for them to talk to.

 

[WatersMoon110]

I'm not sure what you're asking, but I don't think that when a person announces they are gay for the first time, much less to their parents, that it is just a minor issue.

I think it is a minor issue, at most.

What about this situation do you feel makes it a major issue? Which specific parts upset you, and why?

 

[OphidiaPhile]

I'm not sure what you're asking, but I don't think that when a person announces they are gay for the first time, much less to their parents, that it is just a minor issue.

It would not even be an issue at all to me, so he or she is gay they are still the exact same person inside.

 

[angellica]

I think it is a minor issue.

What about this situation do you feel makes it a major issue? Which specific parts upset you, and why?

I always hear when people remember back to when they "came out" and they remember like all these details or whatever and it sounds like a big deal to them.

 

[KCKID]

I think it is a minor issue.

You're just not playing fair at all.

 

[TheBear]

I have no idea. I may not be there in person, but I would be there for them to talk to.

So, your gay son/daughter is going through great anxiety, stress and agony over the condition of their partner, "or whatever you call it", and you wouldn't even go to them to offer face to face words of comfort, compassion, holding their hand, or offering a warm embrace. Instead, you treat them like the plague, offering only words from a distance. How motherly of you.

Just out of curiosity, what would those distant words of support consist of?

 

[WatersMoon110]

I always hear when people remember back to when they "came out" and they remember like all these details or whatever and it sounds like a big deal to them.

It shouldn't be a big deal, in my opinion. I know that any child of mine "coming out" to me about being gay would not really be an issue at all.

I think it is usually only a "big deal" if one's parents act like you said you would, in a strongly negative way - throwing the child out and/or sending them into therapy/programs trying to make them "ex-gay" (which statistically just doesn't seem to work).

 

[JustMeSee]

I would be less concerned with them being gay than them ever having homosexual sex.

 

[KCKID]

I'm not sure what you're asking, but I don't think that when a person announces they are gay for the first time, much less to their parents, that it is just a minor issue.

I'm asking why YOU think it's such a big deal that your son/daughter tells you that they are 'gay'. In other words, what is it to you that they have a sexual attraction for others of the same gender?

Man, this is like trying to extract a tooth.

As for it being a big deal for THEM ...THAT I can understand based on your harsh responses so far. In fact, if I were he or she I'd probably never summon up the courage to tell you. Or, at the very least, I'd suggest that a tranquilizer be administered to you first. Then I'd tell you quickly ...then I'd run!

 

[angellica]

So, your gay son/daughter is going through great anxiety, stress and agony over the condition of their partner, "or whatever you call it", and you wouldn't even go to them to offer face to face words of comfort, compassion, holding their hand, or offering a warm embrace. Instead, you treat them like the plague, offering only words from a distance. How motherly of you.

Just out of curiosity, what would those distant words of support consist of?

I dunno cuz I don't have kids. But if it was my brother, that's about the way I would act. I may be closer to my kids if I have them though, so who knows.

I dunno what I would say to them.

 

[OphidiaPhile]

I always hear when people remember back to when they "came out" and they remember like all these details or whatever and it sounds like a big deal to them.

Because they are expecting people to react in manner similar to what you would do.

 

[Aeris]

I would send them to a Christian psychiatrist who would tell them that such behavior is an abomination.

Wow, no offence meant but its that attitude that causes the suicide of so many glbt teens because they cant change how they feel and their parents wont accept them for who they are.

 

[angellica]

I would be less concerned with them being gay than them ever having homosexual sex.

Yeah, I agree with this. Actually, I think it's about equal.

 

[corvus_corax]

So, my question is simply: What would YOU do if your son/daughter came to you and said, "Um (clears throat), mom/dad ...I'm 'gay'?

Im not derailing this thread by proposing what I'm going to propose.
As a matter of fact, I'm focusing it more precisely, and specifically to the statements that angellica said.

"What would YOU do if your 15 year old son/daughter came to you and said "Um (clears throat), mom/dad...I fantasize about having sex with members of the opposite sex......ALL THE TIME"

Would you recommend spiritual/mental help?
What if they looked at you with confusion on their face and said "Why do I need HELP?"
What if they refused such help?
What if they accepted such help, but in the end the mental/spiritual "counselor" said something to the effect of "Yeah, your boy is gonna fantasize about women, probably for a very long time, and there's nothing to be done about it".

There is only one consistent answer-
Kick them out.
They are living a sinful lifestyle (even if the child is a virgin).
Yes, according to the Bible, they are.

So, angellica, are you consistent?

Or do you just pick and choose?
(N.B. it's okay if you pick and choose, most of us do)

 

[KCKID]

I would be less concerned with them being gay than them ever having homosexual sex.

So, as a sexual being yourself (I presume) you would deny your son/daughter (also a sexual being) from EVER having an intimate relationship with someone of their choice for no other reason than *YOU* don't like it?

Okay.

 

[OphidiaPhile]

Wow, no offence meant but its that attitude that causes the suicide of so many glbt teens because they cant change how they feel and their parents wont accept them for who they are.

I think he is being facetious to point out the extremes of others.

 

[TheBear]

double-post