What would I give to be normal?

[alittlefish]

Everything. My life, if it meant no more of these troublesome thoughts.

 

[madison1101]

You can become normal. I was able to do it. It too tons of work, and total honesty, but I don't have the crazy thoughts I used to.

First, get a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist who has experience working with patients with Borderline Personality Disorder. Be totally honest, and own up to your mistakes. Be willing to be corrected if you do something wrong and you are called on it.

Second, get a Christian mentor. Find a mature Christian to guide you spiritually, and who you can trust to hold you accountable to read your Bible and pray everyday. Ask this friend to help you grow in the Lord.

Meditate on Psalm 139, and Romans 12:1-2

 

[SplendidTree]

Praying for you.

 

[alascott]

You can become normal. I was able to do it. It too tons of work, and total honesty, but I don't have the crazy thoughts I used to.

First, get a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist who has experience working with patients with Borderline Personality Disorder. Be totally honest, and own up to your mistakes. Be willing to be corrected if you do something wrong and you are called on it.

Second, get a Christian mentor. Find a mature Christian to guide you spiritually, and who you can trust to hold you accountable to read your Bible and pray everyday. Ask this friend to help you grow in the Lord.

Meditate on Psalm 139, and Romans 12:1-2

VERY helpful. Amen - and God, help. This is very good advice. Have a therapist in place - need an accountability friend. Good stuff here. Blessings on you guys.

 

[alittlefish]

Thank you for the encouragement.

 

[Luna1991]

I'm learning to embrace the things that make me 'different'. I. Many ways, the pain I suffer is worth the relationship with God it draws me into, and the insights and inspiration I gain. Mind you, I've just had a couple of cups of coffee and am feelings really good, so I can assure you that I certainly don't always think like this hahaha.

I'd recommend reading 'the Highly Sensitive Person' by Elaine N. Aron if you haven't already. It has a lot to do with the biological side of the Bio-Social model in Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, if you're familiar with it. Definitely has been a very enlightening read and positive step forward into reassessing my view of the things that have so long plagued me and made me feel different and difficult. Started to show me the God-given gifts that we have as Borderlines, being people with such intense emotions and hypersensitivity. As the book says, it is about learning to thrive when the world overwhelms you

 

[anonym00s]

I'm learning to embrace the things that make me 'different'. I. Many ways, the pain I suffer is worth the relationship with God it draws me into, and the insights and inspiration I gain. Mind you, I've just had a couple of cups of coffee and am feelings really good, so I can assure you that I certainly don't always think like this hahaha.

I'd recommend reading 'the Highly Sensitive Person' by Elaine N. Aron if you haven't already. It has a lot to do with the biological side of the Bio-Social model in Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, if you're familiar with it. Definitely has been a very enlightening read and positive step forward into reassessing my view of the things that have so long plagued me and made me feel different and difficult. Started to show me the God-given gifts that we have as Borderlines, being people with such intense emotions and hypersensitivity. As the book says, it is about learning to thrive when the world overwhelms you

By embracing the things that make you 'different,' I hope you are not talking about things like guilt manipulation, overreacting, and other traits that are part of borderline personality disorder. Are you? If not, then what do you mean?

 

[Luna1991]

By embracing the things that make you 'different,' I hope you are not talking about things like guilt manipulation, overreacting, and other traits that are part of borderline personality disorder. Are you? If not, then what do you mean?

Haha sorry, should have been more clear - I'm certainly not suggesting that those negative traits are something to like about yourself! Of course not.

I suppose I was referring more specifically to to emotional intensity aspect. While of course it can mean incredible pain, it can also mean incredible joy. Being highly sensitive means that our emotions last longer and are more intense than the average person (Aron, 1999). So while this lends us to more intense and painful suffering, it also means that we can he highly compassionate, experience joy more easily, fall in love very intensely, and be more susceptible to spiritual experiences. If nothing else, surely being an extremely empathetic person can be seen as a gift? Maybe it's just me, clutching at straws, trying to see something positive. But I believe God will use all sin and all illness to bring glory to his name and bring us closer to Him.

Reminds me of something a friend once told me, "there's nothing more beautiful, or more scary, than a borderline in love." I'm not at all suggesting that's a very healthy view to hold onto, but I can see the essence of what he was trying to get at.

 

[anonym00s]

Haha sorry, should have been more clear - I'm certainly not suggesting that those negative traits are something to like about yourself! Of course not.

I suppose I was referring more specifically to to emotional intensity aspect. While of course it can mean incredible pain, it can also mean incredible joy. Being highly sensitive means that our emotions last longer and are more intense than the average person (Aron, 1999). So while this lends us to more intense and painful suffering, it also means that we can he highly compassionate, experience joy more easily, fall in love very intensely, and be more susceptible to spiritual experiences. If nothing else, surely being an extremely empathetic person can be seen as a gift? Maybe it's just me, clutching at straws, trying to see something positive. But I believe God will use all sin and all illness to bring glory to his name and bring us closer to Him.

Reminds me of something a friend once told me, "there's nothing more beautiful, or more scary, than a borderline in love." I'm not at all suggesting that's a very healthy view to hold onto, but I can see the essence of what he was trying to get at.

Maybe that is true for you, but with the friend I know, bpd did not make them a compassionate or caring person. In fact, just the opposite was true. I would have thought that, having been through so many struggles, this friend would have been merciful and understanding with people. Instead, they were overly critical, mean, demanding, and manipulative. It was only through overcoming bpd that is gradually able to have empathy, little by little. Fall in love intensely? Not for the bpd person I knew, it was more like manipulate and try to control intensely. Experience joy more intensely? More like have highs of overexcitement before crashing down later.

But frankly, you don't sound the least bit bpd to me, at least not through posting with you. Again, I don't know how you are in your daily life, but everything I have seen in my bpd friend says that bpd is the opposite of empathy.

 

[Luna1991]

Maybe that is true for you, but with the friend I know, bpd did not make them a compassionate or caring person. In fact, just the opposite was true. I would have thought that, having been through so many struggles, this friend would have been merciful and understanding with people. Instead, they were overly critical, mean, demanding, and manipulative. It was only through overcoming bpd that is gradually able to have empathy, little by little. Fall in love intensely? Not for the bpd person I knew, it was more like manipulate and try to control intensely. Experience joy more intensely? More like have highs of overexcitement before crashing down later.

But frankly, you don't sound the least bit bpd to me, at least not through posting with you. Again, I don't know how you are in your daily life, but everything I have seen in my bpd friend says that bpd is the opposite of empathy.

It's interesting to hear your experiences. I suppose it goes to show how differently a personality disorder can affect different individuals. Perhaps these differences could be partly accounted for by the World Health Organisation's classification of the disorder (which they refer to as Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder). Under this disorder they recognise two subtypes, the Impulsive Type and the Borderline Type. It's not something I've discussed with my psychiatrist, but personally I identify much more strongly with the Borderline Type. Whereas, the characteristics of your friend you described sound much more like the Impulsive Type. Just food for thought I guess.

I've met some Borderlines during my recovery who are similar to the friend you described to a greater or lesser degree. But I've also met some who are incredibly compassionate, beautiful people in my opinion.

I'm sorry for your bad experiences, it must be tough being the one outside looking in. Your friend sounds like they were a particuarly difficult person to stick by. I hope you don't let your bad experiences dictate how you perceive and approach all people with BPD you happen to meet in life.

 

[Live In Stereo]

I'm learning to embrace the things that make me 'different'. I. Many ways, the pain I suffer is worth the relationship with God it draws me into, and the insights and inspiration I gain. Mind you, I've just had a couple of cups of coffee and am feelings really good, so I can assure you that I certainly don't always think like this hahaha.

I'd recommend reading 'the Highly Sensitive Person' by Elaine N. Aron if you haven't already. It has a lot to do with the biological side of the Bio-Social model in Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, if you're familiar with it. Definitely has been a very enlightening read and positive step forward into reassessing my view of the things that have so long plagued me and made me feel different and difficult. Started to show me the God-given gifts that we have as Borderlines, being people with such intense emotions and hypersensitivity. As the book says, it is about learning to thrive when the world overwhelms you

I need to get this book!!! I got a book for .50 on it -memoir. The girl reminds me of myself, but more extreme. I think my Christianity tones me down somewhat. I never have actuqally been told any diagnosis , but because of mania an psychosis 3 times they have supposedly accepted bipolar since I told them after studying by internet that is me. But I wonder if I have this also, I am so sensitive I can pick up on moods , feel pain of others like this with this book. Now reading more posts, I think I really need to read on it. the memior I ma reading is a lot like bipolar also. Are the 2 connected?

 

[marleyhill]

Pah! No such thing as normal. There is a running joke amongst my family. We are all crazy! No, we all have ineffective coping behaviours to deal with distress and so called negative emotions and vulnerability. I have BPD. My sister is avoidant. My mother disassociates. My aunt manipulates. My grandmother complains too much to the point of not knowing she is doing it. My father is an alcoholic with severe mood swings. My husband is avoidant. My uncle became addicted to drugs. My best friends had post natal depression and post natal anxiety. We are on the spectrum of irrationality. For some people it's all the time. For some it's half the time. For some people you don't see it at all because they don't act on it or say it and they are able to control that irrationality a lot better than the rest of us. So they appear "normal". But they have the same thoughts and urges even if it's just for a nano-second and it has no impact on their lives.