What Will It Take?

[Sarah G van G]

I was just watching Bloom Today, a Christian show focused on healing, recovery and the spiritual journey, and feel confused about it.
There was a female writer from the USA talking about her journey of grief (the death of her sister as a child) and the difficulty she had of ever feeling or expressing emotion and how this kept her in a codependent and abusive marriage. A breakthrough came when a woman she didn't even know very well asked her "What's it going to take?" I thought the woman has guessed she was in an unhealthy relationship and meant 'how bad will it have to get to make you leave' but in the closing dialogue she said "What's it going to take to have God work in your life?". As someone who's no stranger to (especially) emotional suffering I find that very odd because surely that's up to God, right? I've been asking/begging God for help since I was twenty (I'm 48 now) and still the emotional testing goes on, several days a week I'm crying, praying and just wanting to die. My life hasn't gotten easier and I'm not getting stronger. I assume it's about surrender but I've tried so many times, over and over on a daily basis to surrender and accept difficulties and circumstances.
I just don't understand and I'm so tired. Why doesn't God help me? I feel like the jokes on me a little you know like Satan is just kicking me around for fun.

 

[timf]

As a general rule in counseling sessions one can either be supportive or confrontive (i.e. tough love). It sounds like from the description you gave that the pushy woman was attempting to motivate the other person to do something to make God operative in her life.

This would portray God as a sort of machine that can be made to give us what we want if we just learn how to operate the machine. This is not a very biblical approach.

The idea that our ease and comfort should be our life's aspiration is a common view. However, besides an easy life not being good for us (consider the corrupting effect of comfort and ease like the Roman emperors and French aristocracy), difficulties in life can bring us much closer to our Savior than we ever would come on our own.

The two places most likely to find people interested in Jesus are hospitals and prisons. The place least likely to find people motivated to hear about Jesus would be a country club.

The situation you describe sounds a little like what Job went through. Much of it was a mystery to him. You might get to heaven only to discover that someone you did not even know was inspired by your faithfulness.

 

[Sarah G van G]

As a general rule in counseling sessions one can either be supportive or confrontive (i.e. tough love). It sounds like from the description you gave that the pushy woman was attempting to motivate the other person to do something to make God operative in her life.

This would portray God as a sort of machine that can be made to give us what we want if we just learn how to operate the machine. This is not a very biblical approach.

The idea that our ease and comfort should be our life's aspiration is a common view. However, besides an easy life not being good for us (consider the corrupting effect of comfort and ease like the Roman emperors and French aristocracy), difficulties in life can bring us much closer to our Savior than we ever would come on our own.

The two places most likely to find people interested in Jesus are hospitals and prisons. The place least likely to find people motivated to hear about Jesus would be a country club.

The situation you describe sounds a little like what Job went through. Much of it was a mystery to him. You might get to heaven only to discover that someone you did not even know was inspired by your faithfulness.

Thanks for your thoughtful response, it's helpful. Reading my post now I notice that I was envious of the Godly intervention she experienced. I just need to wait on His grace and mercy (and stop feeling sorry for myself!). Chronic suffering can be difficult to accept, even Job got a bit fed up but he didn't deserve suffering and I can't really say the same for myself.

 

[ViaCrucis]

I'm reminded of what St. Paul writes in his second epistle to the Corinthians,

"a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong." - 2 Corinthians 12:7b-10

Here the Apostle talks about a thorn in his flesh. He doesn't tell us what it was, and there are many speculations about it; but the point to stress upon is that even the Apostle Paul had his many struggles and hardships. There were things in his life outside of his control, and he prayed multiple times that God would remove this thing from his life--but the answer he received was different than what he was praying for.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made complete in weakness"

The way of the Christian is not about a life of "victorious living", as I have sometimes heard from certain circles of Christians. It's just not. This is not a life of glory and praise, this is a life of carrying a cross. Each of us, as followers of Jesus, has our own cross in this life. But what God wants to tell us is that He has not abandoned us to be blown away by the wind--He holds us in Himself, by His grace, His kindness, His mercy He has us.

Even when the Apostles were thrown into prison, forced to confront hungry wild animals in the arenas, beaten, and even crucified--God was with them.

God is with us in our suffering.

We don't carry the cross alone. Christ is with us.

The comfort we find in grace is not a comfort of ease; but the comfort of a merciful God who truly does love us--who truly does love you. Suffering is not the absence of God, but the presence of God. Nobody who suffers suffers alone, God suffers with us.

I sometimes think that the modern life has rendered us isolated from one another, as people. We still have bubbles of friends, but I think many of us--even in the Church--suffer from a lack of real community.

The Liturgy is more than just what we do on Sunday morning, the Liturgy is an invitation to a robust human life lived in the Mysteries of God's grace--Mysteries that bring us together, that unite us to one another: Baptism and the Eucharist.

Our baptism didn't just bring us into life with God, but life into Christ's Church. Our baptism brings us together, as brothers and sisters, for we have the same God and Father. The Lord's Table is the Sacrament of God's peace--we meet together at the altar, with Christ at the head of the Table, giving us the Bread and Cup, His own body and blood.

We are the Body of Jesus Christ, hands and feet don't function without being part of the Body.

We are supposed to be there for one another, supportive of one another, cheering one another on in this race of life.

I believe that we need to start thinking of the Church as a village, we are villagers who are working together for one another.

I think that so much of our modern existential dread has its source in this lack of community. And it's something that exists both outside and within the Church. And I wish I had solutions, or answers, or recommendations to offer beyond saying this.

But I think these things are related. The individual depends on the village. We need the village.

-CryptoLutheran

 

[FutureAndAHope]

I was just watching Bloom Today, a Christian show focused on healing, recovery and the spiritual journey, and feel confused about it.
There was a female writer from the USA talking about her journey of grief (the death of her sister as a child) and the difficulty she had of ever feeling or expressing emotion and how this kept her in a codependent and abusive marriage. A breakthrough came when a woman she didn't even know very well asked her "What's it going to take?" I thought the woman has guessed she was in an unhealthy relationship and meant 'how bad will it have to get to make you leave' but in the closing dialogue she said "What's it going to take to have God work in your life?". As someone who's no stranger to (especially) emotional suffering I find that very odd because surely that's up to God, right? I've been asking/begging God for help since I was twenty (I'm 48 now) and still the emotional testing goes on, several days a week I'm crying, praying and just wanting to die. My life hasn't gotten easier and I'm not getting stronger. I assume it's about surrender but I've tried so many times, over and over on a daily basis to surrender and accept difficulties and circumstances.
I just don't understand and I'm so tired. Why doesn't God help me? I feel like the jokes on me a little you know like Satan is just kicking me around for fun.

Satan wants to rob our obedience and trust. He will always push our lack in front of our eyes. However, if we can remain in obedience, and trust God will eventually give us our desires.

Psa 37:4 Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.

However this is often not an instant process, examples from my life include waiting for a wife, it took 35 years for me to marry. In the interim, I was so lonely that I nearly committed suicide.

I also had great struggles with my walk with God, and would cry out for help, but again it took, 10-20 years before I saw any improvement.

Now however things are good for me, when in the past they were really hopeless. Just don't give up on obedience and trust, and you will make it out to a broad place.