What was the breaking point?

[llghoney]

If you don't mind answering, what was it that made you think I can't take this anymore?

 

[PolarBear3]

For me, it was feeling like my ex-husband (then husband) wasn't willing to do anything to help make our marriage work. But looking back on it, I think he really did want to make it work, but didn't know how. Honestly, I don't think either of us knew how. And we were going through a bunch of stress at the time - husband stopped working to return to grad school full-time, we moved to another state, we had a baby, I stopped working to stay home with our son ... all of that happened within a month. We had never had much stress in our relationship before and then took on more than we could handle in a short period of time.

We struggled for several months and then went to counseling, but we should have started that a lot sooner. I was already so frustrated with him by the time we went to counseling, that we didn't make much progress in our marriage. But counseling was helpful for expressing what we were feeling to each other. I don't know what our marriage would have been like if we had stayed together, but I do wish we had been able to show each other more forgiveness, patience and grace when we were going through such a rough period.

I hope that was helpful.

Kathy

 

[RobinRedbreast]

If you don't mind answering, what was it that made you think I can't take this anymore?

The day I seriously and honestly contemplated suicide, seeing it as an improvement to my situation (being married to my first/ex husband).

 

[savingme09]

For me it was being yelled at and verbally abused so much that one day he yelling started again and I had no emotion whatsoever. I wasn't angry, sad, guilty... I was simply numb. I don't even remember what he said because I had heard it so many times that I didn't care anymore. I knew then that it was over. There were other, more serious issues going on as well, but that was my breaking point.

 

[iambren]

Becoming suicidal,broken,weeping, and finally being admitted to a psychiatric floor of the hospital for a week. After her many years of sexual rejection,emotional absence, and a demeaning grinding of any shred of my ego, I knew when I got out and healthy enough I would leave. I've not been back (3 years).

 

[ShainaBrina]

when he threatened to kill me, my children and any police coming to help

 

[eatenbylocusts]

The day I left we had just come home from small claims court to try to get some money from a delivery company that had gone back on a verbal agreement. When we got out of the car to go into court he remarked that the judge might think I was a homeless person. I was 3 months pregnant and wearing a nice looking knit outfit. We lost the case. We went home and after him trying to get out of the truth, told me he had cancelled his direct deposit and was going to be in charge of the money. He also told me that he was only going to pay half of our bills and I'd have to go out and get another job or ask my parents to pay the rest. I was on disability after 2 car accidents and was on disability going through job re-training. We already owed my parents several thousand dollars since I had been the breadwinner for 9 of our almost 10 years of marriage. Despite me trying to teach him how to balance the checkbook and show him where the money went, he had been accusing me of having a bf and paying rent for him.

Despite that I probably would've stayed if I hadn't just recovered from the flu and been verbally abused by him because I asked him to pick up our son from school one day. When I was lying there pregnant and very ill I felt his anger and hostility in a new way. When he grumbled about bringing me a glass of water (he was awake and walking around) I realized that things were never going to be healthy or normal. For a few years I had realized that I didn't want my son to grow up to be anything like him. My son had also recently expressed sadness when he saw that his dad was home. And of course all of the hang ups when I answered the phone and him not coming home................

 

[~Lynz~]

he called me a lier saying i was faking being ill. and 2 hours after he left i was sent to the hospital in a abulance because the doctor thought i had a clot in my lungs.... then when i tryed to phone him to tell him look im really sick im in hospital he had "lost" his phone..

if thats not enough....

i get out the hospital have a little surf bou ton the internet and find 2 proflies for meeting up with people. (one of which had naked picture of him)

and if thats not enough...

i found out hes been cheating on me since before we got married.

yeah i think that covers the basics...

 

[sos2007]

Our marriage had a rocky start. We really didn't get to know each other the way we should've when we got married. He claimed to be christian but made up excuses to not go to church and wouldn't listen to christian music unless i had got him to church. By the end he had started listening to christian music but still made excuses to not go to church even tho he claimed he liked it. From the very beginning of the marriage probly about a month into it he became very verbally abusive. He would keep threatening to leave me for no apparent reason and each time he would threaten to kill himself. I would fight with him to make him stay. Well at the very end he was starting to get physically abusive by grabbing on my shoulders and arms hard and pulling on me. I was scared to make him leave and had plans to go to my cousins house and stay with them until he left on his own, but thats not how it happened. We got in a fight and he said my opinions didnt matter he was goin to do things his way. I got heartless and told him to leave. He begged me to stay and threatened to kill himself again but i had his knives hidden so i told him i didnt care and go do whatever he want. He calmed down and agreed to leave but he wanted to let him stay at the house long enough to find out where he was goin to stay. I agreed until the next nite when he started calling girls in front of me and told me he had been looking at girls n talking to them since a month into our relationship and thats why he always wanted out. The next day his clothes were on the porch and my parents backed me up and said he HAD to leave. He's agreed to pay for dissolution papers but we haven't seen them yet. He makes excuses to not meet us to change the title on the truck into only his name. I'm actually glad I'm not with him and have people that support me telling me I did the right thing to let him go. I feel more free and not soo trapped and caged up.

 

[kanga22]

History: he had left our home a year before, and told me he was looking for a girlfriend six months before. I was willing to try anything to keep us together and not break up our family (at the time our kids were 6 and 8).

The breaking point for me - when I knew I would file - the very last time we had sex he told me that he had had unprotected sex with a prostitute and hadn't even showered yet. He also told me that he had once done the same thing to me after being with his "girlfriend". It was a game he liked to play. At that moment I knew he didn't care if I died of a horrible disease, leaving our children motherless. I also realized to what extent he hated women in general.

He says he doesn't want a divorce, but has done everything possible to make me want one.

 

[BRISH]

If you don't mind answering, what was it that made you think I can't take this anymore?

My ex chasing after someone else pretty much did the trick for me.

I just didn't have the patience for our other problems after that ......it's a canny thing.

 

[hisbloodformysins]

The day I seriously and honestly contemplated suicide, seeing it as an improvement to my situation (being married to my first/ex husband).

I've been there just recently.. and that was/is kind of my breaking point to. everyone has one.

 

[SearcherKris]

It was when he turned his abuse and neglect on our child after learning he could not do that to me anymore.

I had put up with all the neglect and abuse for our entire marriage. I learned to stand up to him and I thought I could put a stop to it. He just took it out on our son instead.

That was it for me. Every ounce of romantic love that I ever had for him died. I don't hate him, but I definately am not in love with him anymore at all.

I felt uncertain about being able to convince others that divorce was the right option and considered a reconciliation in the event he changed after leaving him the last time...but then I discovered a nasty after effect of him being intimate with someone else; he gave me an std.

With that new information there was no way anyone could claim our divorce was unbiblical, and there was also NO WAY I was going back to him even if they did. I've got kids to raise. I'm not about to give him a chance to infect me with AIDS.

I was so certain that divorce was the right option by the time we had our final hearing that I actually smiled while I was signing the "I Don't Anymore." It was hard not to laugh while I was in the court building. When I got out I did laugh out of sheer joy, knowing we never had to live with the neglect, abuse, or adultry again. I was free and my kids were safer.

 

[SearcherKris]

The day I seriously and honestly contemplated suicide, seeing it as an improvement to my situation (being married to my first/ex husband).

A small amount of time before my ex turned his abuse on our son, I became suicidal. I begged him for help and asked him to stay home from work so I could go to the hospital. He refused. He left me alone with our kids while he went to work, knowing I wanted to kill myself.

I made it through the night by talking on the phone ALOT to a very close Christian friend who is also a counselor. That night I also discovered that baking and nuerotically cleaning is therapuetic for me.

This incident of him leaving me and our kids like that was weighing very heavily on my mind when he began abusing our son. So, I guess it really was the combination of the two that drove me out the door and looking for Biblical support for our divorce.

 

[Demi4God]

Breaking point-when he kicked my son. It didn't take much more.

 

[DZoolander]

When she got into Bondage/Discipline/Sadism/Masochism and started going to functions and inviting them over to our house, having pre-op trans-sexuals come into our home who hit on me, ummm...and then the day before my birthday getting all sorts of piercings on her face - then notifying me that the only reason she picked that day was to spite me.

That about did it. lol I celebrated my 28th birthday by telling her to leave.

 

[Demi4God]

Tragic and sad. Sorry you went through that EZ.

 

[DZoolander]

Well - twas a long time ago. Now, it's almost so tragically insane that it's comedic. It wasn't back then - but 11 years will do that for you

 

[Bridgit]

If you don't mind answering, what was it that made you think I can't take this anymore?

It was when the emotional abuse got worse and was turning into physical abuse toward me and my 3 boys.