What to say to a sister who attends multiple churches and small groups?

thecolorsblend · Mar 21, 2019

sccs said:
Recently, a sister joined our Bible study group but only sporadically. After a few months, we reached out to her because we had heard through mutual acquaintances that she has been attending other small groups and other churches in the area as well.

When the issue was brought to her attention, she responded by saying that church is not just one building or one congregation (which I tend to agree with) but rather it is whenever 2 or more believers come together to pray. She desires to grow and connect with the body of Christ as a whole. Therefore, she attends two churches regularly, is connected to at least three small groups as well as Bible Study Fellowship (BSF), PRISM, and Intervarsity on a local college campus. She says she strongly believes in the body of Christ.

Now, that is all fine and dandy but my view point differs a bit. I believe that though we do subscribe to a concept of the global Church at large, that there is benefit to committing and rooting oneself in a local church, submitting to its teachings, knowing its people, and being known by them as well. However, this seems to fall of deaf ears.

What are your thoughts and how can I speak to this sister about this issue? She comes to our small group fairly regularly but there are times when she doesn't come for months and will sporadically come to our church service.

Back in my evangelical days, I met some guys who would attend a weekly study at my Southern Baptist ecclesial community. I discovered that they were a circle of friends who were sort of evangelical vagabonds, joining groups but visiting different communities in rotation. Sometimes they would even attend service at two different ecclesial communities on a single Sunday.

I expressed my surprise and awe of this to my girlfriend who attended the same community I did. She wasn't the deepest well on the farm, one might say, but she had NO respect for those guys. "They should visit whichever groups they want but commit to one particular [community]," she said. I'd never thought of it that way.

Still, I don't see the problem with this type of behavior. Some people simply have a different aptitude for this and I don't think they should be "corrected" when they're not doing anything wrong.

I'm Catholic and I realize things work differently in my Church but I have been known to sometimes visit a special type of Catholic parish rather than my home parish on occasion. I meet a wider range of people and experience a bigger liturgical variety this way. I don't see the harm in this type of thing.

sk8brdkd · Mar 22, 2019

sccs said:
Recently, a sister joined our Bible study group but only sporadically. After a few months, we reached out to her because we had heard through mutual acquaintances that she has been attending other small groups and other churches in the area as well.

When the issue was brought to her attention, she responded by saying that church is not just one building or one congregation (which I tend to agree with) but rather it is whenever 2 or more believers come together to pray. She desires to grow and connect with the body of Christ as a whole. Therefore, she attends two churches regularly, is connected to at least three small groups as well as Bible Study Fellowship (BSF), PRISM, and Intervarsity on a local college campus. She says she strongly believes in the body of Christ.

Now, that is all fine and dandy but my view point differs a bit. I believe that though we do subscribe to a concept of the global Church at large, that there is benefit to committing and rooting oneself in a local church, submitting to its teachings, knowing its people, and being known by them as well. However, this seems to fall of deaf ears.

What are your thoughts and how can I speak to this sister about this issue? She comes to our small group fairly regularly but there are times when she doesn't come for months and will sporadically come to our church service.

Personally, I don’t see anything wrong with what she’s doing. If this is how she has a better relationship with God, and if this is how she connects better with people, let her be. She’s not doing anything wrong.

At my church on Sunday, our pastor told everyone that he knows of some people who attend several different small groups and he actually encouraged the congregation to join different ones if we wanted to, to see which was a good match for us but he also stated, if we wanted to continue being in 2 or more small groups, then it’s fine.

I’d say don’t say anything other then encourage her in her walk. She’s doing what works best for her. Let her be.

DM25 · Mar 23, 2019

Going to multiple churches is fine, and it's also fine to hop around and find a church that works for you. It could be many before finding one that works for you and that God wants you to go to. Church is about fellowship with others in its definition. The church isn't a building, we are the church.

"You can go to a temple, you can sit in a pew, but you can't go to church, cause the church is you."

yeshuaslavejeff · Mar 9, 2020

sccs said:
What are your thoughts and how can I speak to this sister about this issue? She comes to our small group fairly regularly but there are times when she doesn't come for months and will sporadically come to our church service.

Has anyone seen how to " make disciples" as directed by Jesus to His disciples, in Scripture ?
This requires quite a bit more than usually mentioned in any meeting.

Junia · May 23, 2020

maintenance man said:
We can make a lot of different assumptions about a person who bounces around like that, but I think we should simply take her at her word and believe she is trying to connect with as many believers as possible. If she finds a group that truly connects with her spirit she might make a stronger commitment.

I agree there is value in focusing on being a part of one church body - but I can't honestly see anything harmful about moving around - unless you need to count on her for some reason.

exactly. there may be a reason for this- is she maybe trying out different groups before she finds out which one fits her best?

yellowMan · May 25, 2020

I suggest you leave her alone. Your energy would be best spent elsewhere instead of psycho-analyzing this woman and trying to mold her into one of your clique members. You should be happy for her that she is so thirsty for God that she is willing to spend time in multiple avenues attempting to learn/grow/share as much as she possibly can. As for "submitting to its teachings", you are approaching legalism here and you may want to rethink that attitude.

Francis Drake · May 25, 2020

sccs said:
Recently, a sister joined our Bible study group but only sporadically. After a few months, we reached out to her because we had heard through mutual acquaintances that she has been attending other small groups and other churches in the area as well.

When the issue was brought to her attention, she responded by saying that church is not just one building or one congregation (which I tend to agree with) but rather it is whenever 2 or more believers come together to pray. She desires to grow and connect with the body of Christ as a whole. Therefore, she attends two churches regularly, is connected to at least three small groups as well as Bible Study Fellowship (BSF), PRISM, and Intervarsity on a local college campus. She says she strongly believes in the body of Christ.

Now, that is all fine and dandy but my view point differs a bit. I believe that though we do subscribe to a concept of the global Church at large, that there is benefit to committing and rooting oneself in a local church, submitting to its teachings, knowing its people, and being known by them as well. However, this seems to fall of deaf ears.

What are your thoughts and how can I speak to this sister about this issue? She comes to our small group fairly regularly but there are times when she doesn't come for months and will sporadically come to our church service.

Wow, does your church own its members. Remind me never to visit.

Junia · May 26, 2020

yellowMan said:
I suggest you leave her alone. Your energy would be best spent elsewhere instead of psycho-analyzing this woman and trying to mold her into one of your clique members. You should be happy for her that she is so thirsty for God that she is willing to spend time in multiple avenues attempting to learn/grow/share as much as she possibly can. As for "submitting to its teachings", you are approaching legalism here and you may want to rethink that attitude.

i agree. this sounds like a potentially abusive church. heavy shepherding is not of God

What to say to a sister who attends multiple churches and small groups?

thecolorsblend

If God is your Father, who is your Mother?

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sk8brdkd

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DM25

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yeshuaslavejeff

simple truth, martyr, disciple of Yahshua

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Junia

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yellowMan

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Francis Drake

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Junia

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