What to do??

[rachetman]

I have been seeing my girlfriend for quite a while now. The subject of marriage has come up a few times, but we have a few years of college yet to finish. I have a few extra tacked on for med. school. She is a Non-denominational Christian, while I am Roman Catholic. She has clearly told me that she does not want to be Roman Catholic, and I would not think to ever ask her to be just for me. What caught me off guard is that my partner seems to think that I will be excommunicated from my Church, and that she feels that a marriage between us would be, in effect, making my give up my religion for her. I assured her that she was making me make no such decision, but I would like to support her ease of mind moreso. Also, I have been Roman Catholic all my life, and really have no idea what it is to be Non-denominational Christian. Where can I find resources?? Any suggestions?? That would be great...

 

[LifeInYou]

Understand that you both are Christians. The role the church plays in your belief systems is where you differ. Study Martin Luther and the Reformation, this deals with the split of Western Christendom.

I think it's wise that you are addressing this issue now...


Shalom

 

[DaveKerwin]

Ask to visit her church, after you visit you will know the difference.

Be careful of being unequally yoked.

 

[desi]

What is it with equal yolks around here?, kidding. Nondenominational Christians are Catholics who don't listen to the Pope and most other Catholic rules like confirmation, first communion, CCD. They are generally more tolerant of things the Bible outright condemns like divorce and homosexuality but there are many different Churches out there so some are actually stricter than the Catholic Church. Going to her Church is a good idea. My wife used to not like Catholics while I was raised one. After 7 years of marriage she wanted to start going to Catholic Church, go figure.

 

[JillLars]

I think you need to address why she refuses to become catholic. Has she offered to come with you to the Catholic church, does she fully understand the teachings of the church. I was raised Catholic, my fiance went to Lutheran and Baptist churches growing up. He didn't want to be Catholic because the church services were boring. Frankly I didn't blame him, I also was quite bored (don't mean to offend anyone), so we decided to pave our own way and find a church that we both liked. We went to a few different Catholic churches, a non-denominational church, and finally a Lutheran church. We both love the Lutheran church we go to now, and we are going to become members next month. I think you need to find out why she is unwilling to compromise, it probably has to do with some misconceptions about the Catholic church. Have you talked about what church you want to attend after you get married? I'm assuming she wants to be married in her church and raise your kids in her church, ect. You could always suggest a compromise and find a church that you both like. I will pray for both of you!

 

[rachetman]

Thank you all so much for the ideas!! Basically, she just does not agree with praying to Saints, and confession, and what-have-you. She has been to my Church once, and she rather liked it for the country humbleness feeling that it puts out. If kids do come down the road (and we are talking at LEAST eight years), she would like them to attend a Christian school. However, she did mention that their faith would be a decision on their part, but while they are being raised, they can be only so responsible for their decisions. Thanks for the prayers that go out!! May God bless each one of you!!

 

[DaveKerwin]

so are you going to visit her church?

will you be the spiritual leader of your home if you get marreid?

 

[rachetman]

I do plan on visiting her Church when we are both home. I think the spiritual leading that goes on in a household should be taken up by both individuals... not a one way thing at all. I will not force anything on anyone, but just share my beliefs with those that I love. In the intitial stages of forming a child's religious background, however, it would very likely be hard to have them praticing both faiths...