heart of peace
Well-Known Member
Ahh, I see, that makes a lot more sense to me. Is there any way for you to confront the parents with your concerns?
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What to do with a three year old
- Thread starter Beautiful Fireball
- Start date
No, unfortunately there isn't. I'm very much the "hired help" I don't believe my thoughts on the situation would be welcome. Also, I'm only there about 3 more weeks.
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heart of peace
Well-Known Member
That is truly unfortunate. Ugh at the "hired help" view, that doesn't help you form an attachment to the young girl. Without an attachment to you, you really can't have that much of an impact on her. Too bad you can't do anything to help out even on a minor scale before you leave. I strongly believe that each situation we are in is for a reason and God has placed you in that family currently with a purpose in mind. It seems that you do want to help out as you made this thread, right? Good luck and I hope that you are able to have some sort of impact.
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Of course I want to help, and I really do care about the kids. If I didn't care I wouldn't post about situations I have been in with them so much and I wouldn't worry myself over what can be done to improve things. But I am just the nanny, not the parent, there is only so much I can do.
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K9_Trainer
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I babysat a kid that was EXACTLY like that. It was horrible, you have every ounce of empathy I can muster. I do think I've found a solution though, or at least one that worked with Justin. It might be worth a try for you since you're running out of ideas.
I figure it was the attention from the discipline that he was getting his kicks from, not the naughty act itself. For some reason, I guess the chaos that was created from making his sister cry and adults getting after him and getting upset was funny.
So assuming that idea was correct, I stopped wasting my time giving him warnings, putting him in time out, explaining what he did wrong and why it was wrong and having him apologize to his sister over and over again. Instead, I flat ignored him.
If I saw him push his sister over or smack her or otherwise be mean, I silently, without even looking at Justin, picked up his sister and talked to her, comforted her and distracted her from the event. If we were playing together when he did it, play ended immediately and all my attention went to Elizabeth and Justin was ignored completely. If he tried to poke me or talk to me or taunt me to get my attention, it didn't work.
Guess what? Smacking sister was no longer fun. It didn't get him any attention from me, it got him no reaction, no funny lectures or time outs. Instead, his sister was the one getting all of my attention.
He picked it up very quickly.
I figure it was the attention from the discipline that he was getting his kicks from, not the naughty act itself. For some reason, I guess the chaos that was created from making his sister cry and adults getting after him and getting upset was funny.
So assuming that idea was correct, I stopped wasting my time giving him warnings, putting him in time out, explaining what he did wrong and why it was wrong and having him apologize to his sister over and over again. Instead, I flat ignored him.
If I saw him push his sister over or smack her or otherwise be mean, I silently, without even looking at Justin, picked up his sister and talked to her, comforted her and distracted her from the event. If we were playing together when he did it, play ended immediately and all my attention went to Elizabeth and Justin was ignored completely. If he tried to poke me or talk to me or taunt me to get my attention, it didn't work.
Guess what? Smacking sister was no longer fun. It didn't get him any attention from me, it got him no reaction, no funny lectures or time outs. Instead, his sister was the one getting all of my attention.
He picked it up very quickly.
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