Music has been very important to me. I need worship music as a part of a regular daily routine. It helps me to have peace in the Presence of God & thus hear from Him or more likely just have a peaceful knowing that He is with me. It is hard therefore to pick one song.
However, I can tell stories. I remember living with my aunt who had mics & cameras in her house. She really hates me. She had hundreds (no exaggeration here) of friends in the Bahamas. She slept with many men so she could get them to do anything for her. She helped in the efforts of my pastor to stop me from working. Many people who knew her was not intimately involved in this & kept going to her to ask her why she allowed me to be on the street when she had 2 empty bedrooms in her house. Abandoning family is a sin in the Bahamas. So she picked me up & proceeded to constantly tell lies about how ungrateful I was, how I had unsanitary habits, how I was destroying her appliances & other belongings. She would tell everyone how she was trying to help me but could not afford me & I was being very mean to her. It was something to walk in the neighborhood & see people looking at me with venom in their eyes.
She would buy groceries & fill up her Ford truck from front to back with food every week then invite other family to have a 'get together' at her brothers' house. They would carry every stitch of grocery out & laugh at me. Yet, one of the most disconcerting things she did ( she had mental problems she was so cruel ) was talk about me right in front of me.
This man came in to ask her about getting me to look after his kid because he & his wife needed help. She told him right in front of me that she would not do that if she were him because I was a lesbian & had a sick mind. She would not suggest he have me around his child.
Wow
Anyway, I did not know if I should start yelling or crying. So, I prayed. God spoke clearly to my heart in whisper. "Start singing, 'God is in Control' " I was befuddled as I barely knew the chorus. I told Him so. He repeated, "Start singing,'God is in Control' ". So I sang what I knew:
'God is in control, I believe that His children will not be forsaken. God is in control. We will choose to remember and never be shaken.'
That's about all I knew. I kept singing it. My aunt had the tv in her act of fake piety on the TBN channel. Joyce Meyer came on as I sang and said,
" The title of my message today is, 'Don't Worry, God is in Control'."
To which both the man and my aunt spun around and conversation faltered and stalled. He might of been just talking to Marsha just to help her needle me. Anyway, after that day, there was no more television in the living room. I had no more access to this type of confirmation which happened quite often, she thought ( I also was thinking the same for a while ).
Well, I don't know exactly what they were thinking but that became a song I had to have & learn all the words to.
I think I'll go look for that message and song now. I need the encouragement.
