Since I have dedicated my life to Christ I no longer drink with my friends, or go to parties really. However, since I don't really have any strong Christian friends who have the same convictions as me, often times I end up hanging out with people who are drinking, even though I am not joining them. And it never fails, everytime this happens someone asks me why I am not drinking, and I am torn between two answers. The first and most obvious would be to reply simply, "Because I am a Christian." The second would be to just say "I am not drinking tonight," or "I have to work tomorrow" (which is usually true). So I am unsure as to how to respond. I am hesitant to give the first reply since generally many of people who would hear my reply are Christians (in that they go to church on Sunday and little else), and I don't want to offend them. Furthermore, I would like to avoid having them think I am trying to play the "Holier than Thou" card. So what do you guys think? Should I just speak the truth, regardless of offending someone, or continue to try to spare their feelings?
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What should I say?
- Thread starter Servant991
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MrsGnomeCrusher
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Before I became a Christian, I was the one usually sipping on water if I went out. I used to get a bunch of comments about it. Bascially, all you should have to say is, "Because I don't want to" and let it be at that. That's usually not good enough. I usually say, nonchalantly, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Then, because I always saying something smart and it's expected, I say, "I have more fun staying sober and watching you idots make fools of yourselves." (Although I'm not lying when I say that. 
)
Some people won't accept that answer and will be offended or really hound you about drinking. I'll ask them to respect my wishes. If not, I'll just walk away. All those people I used to go out with, I no longer do. For the most part, I don't think they respected who I am or what I'm about. Once I stopped going out all the time, I stopped hearing from them. If it comes to it, sometimes you need to break the ties of friendship and move on.
)Some people won't accept that answer and will be offended or really hound you about drinking. I'll ask them to respect my wishes. If not, I'll just walk away. All those people I used to go out with, I no longer do. For the most part, I don't think they respected who I am or what I'm about. Once I stopped going out all the time, I stopped hearing from them. If it comes to it, sometimes you need to break the ties of friendship and move on.
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I share your concerns about seeming tho play the "holier than thou" card. Sometimes even when we don't intend to non-Christians hear it anyway.
Christians are not all in agreement over the consumption of alcohol. Scripture is very clear about drunkeness - it is a sin. But about drinking there is more disagreement soveing territory from Jesus turning the water into wine at the wedding (why would Jesus make wine if the consumption of wine is wrong?)to Paul instructing Timothy to drink a little wine for his stomach's sake, to the instructions of Paul concerning the eating of meat offered to idols.
My point being, by saying "Because I am a Christian I no longer drink." it sounds like abstaining from alcohol is a tenent of the faith, or a requirement for salvation. Are you saying that anyone who drinks cannot be a Christian? I doubt that, but that is what non-Christians (with a few drinks in them!) may think you are saying.
Further, is that really the first aspect of your faith you want to talk with your non-Christian friends about? "Oh, yeah. He's a Christian now. They don't drink." Not the slogan you were going for...
If these are the same people you see with some frequency, I would suggest saying "I'm not drinking tonight." It is true. You are not deceiving them or misleading them. If, after some time of this your new pattern is noticed, someone will probably say "Hey, you haven't been drinking at all lately. What's up?" Then you can answer something along the lines of "I've made a number of changes in my life lately..." and talk about Jesus Christ, not about booze. Keep it short and sweet - you don't want to give them a sermon - just tell your story. If it were me, I'd conclude by offering to buy a round, but that's me!
I fully respect your choice not to drink. But the important thing is Jesus Christ and not whose lips touch fermented beverages or not. When it comes to being a witness for Christ, major in the majors, not in the minors. I'm sure you'll agree (I hope you'll agree!) that salvation is the key issue and drinking is a family argument to be had with other Christians.
Christians are not all in agreement over the consumption of alcohol. Scripture is very clear about drunkeness - it is a sin. But about drinking there is more disagreement soveing territory from Jesus turning the water into wine at the wedding (why would Jesus make wine if the consumption of wine is wrong?)to Paul instructing Timothy to drink a little wine for his stomach's sake, to the instructions of Paul concerning the eating of meat offered to idols.
My point being, by saying "Because I am a Christian I no longer drink." it sounds like abstaining from alcohol is a tenent of the faith, or a requirement for salvation. Are you saying that anyone who drinks cannot be a Christian? I doubt that, but that is what non-Christians (with a few drinks in them!) may think you are saying.
Further, is that really the first aspect of your faith you want to talk with your non-Christian friends about? "Oh, yeah. He's a Christian now. They don't drink." Not the slogan you were going for...
If these are the same people you see with some frequency, I would suggest saying "I'm not drinking tonight." It is true. You are not deceiving them or misleading them. If, after some time of this your new pattern is noticed, someone will probably say "Hey, you haven't been drinking at all lately. What's up?" Then you can answer something along the lines of "I've made a number of changes in my life lately..." and talk about Jesus Christ, not about booze. Keep it short and sweet - you don't want to give them a sermon - just tell your story. If it were me, I'd conclude by offering to buy a round, but that's me!
I fully respect your choice not to drink. But the important thing is Jesus Christ and not whose lips touch fermented beverages or not. When it comes to being a witness for Christ, major in the majors, not in the minors. I'm sure you'll agree (I hope you'll agree!) that salvation is the key issue and drinking is a family argument to be had with other Christians.
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"My point being, by saying "Because I am a Christian I no longer drink." it sounds like abstaining from alcohol is a tenent of the faith, or a requirement for salvation. Are you saying that anyone who drinks cannot be a Christian? I doubt that, but that is what non-Christians (with a few drinks in them!) may think you are saying.
Further, is that really the first aspect of your faith you want to talk with your non-Christian friends about? "Oh, yeah. He's a Christian now. They don't drink." Not the slogan you were going for..."
I see your point, and fully agree. And I am most certainly not saying that anyone who drinks cannot be a christian, I personally have no problem with someone having a beer/wine/whatever or two. But I feel I need to add a bit of clarification... At parties and such for my age group where there is alcohol, no one is drinking just to enjoy an alcoholic beverage. They are drinking with the singular purpose of getting drunk.
"Christians are not all in agreement over the consumption of alcohol. Scripture is very clear about drunkeness - it is a sin."
Very true, but this is part of where my hesitation lies. A few of my friends have accepted Jesus Christ as their personal savior. However, in many cases, they have made no attempt to turn from the sinful things of their past lives, e.g. getting drunk. I know that they rarely (if ever) read the bible. So I am not sure if they honestly just don't know about the bible's stance on drunkeness, or if they don't care. If it is the case of them not knowing, don't I owe it to them to answer "because I am a Christian?" Afer all, this might be offensive at first, but also it may leave them wanting to discuss my response.
"If these are the same people you see with some frequency, I would suggest saying "I'm not drinking tonight." It is true. You are not deceiving them or misleading them. If, after some time of this your new pattern is noticed, someone will probably say "Hey, you haven't been drinking at all lately. What's up?" Then you can answer something along the lines of "I've made a number of changes in my life lately..." and talk about Jesus Christ, not about booze."
This is sound advice, which I think would be an excellent way to approach this issue with non-believers. But what should my approach be with my Christian friends who get drunk constantly?
Further, is that really the first aspect of your faith you want to talk with your non-Christian friends about? "Oh, yeah. He's a Christian now. They don't drink." Not the slogan you were going for..."
I see your point, and fully agree. And I am most certainly not saying that anyone who drinks cannot be a christian, I personally have no problem with someone having a beer/wine/whatever or two. But I feel I need to add a bit of clarification... At parties and such for my age group where there is alcohol, no one is drinking just to enjoy an alcoholic beverage. They are drinking with the singular purpose of getting drunk.
"Christians are not all in agreement over the consumption of alcohol. Scripture is very clear about drunkeness - it is a sin."
Very true, but this is part of where my hesitation lies. A few of my friends have accepted Jesus Christ as their personal savior. However, in many cases, they have made no attempt to turn from the sinful things of their past lives, e.g. getting drunk. I know that they rarely (if ever) read the bible. So I am not sure if they honestly just don't know about the bible's stance on drunkeness, or if they don't care. If it is the case of them not knowing, don't I owe it to them to answer "because I am a Christian?" Afer all, this might be offensive at first, but also it may leave them wanting to discuss my response.
"If these are the same people you see with some frequency, I would suggest saying "I'm not drinking tonight." It is true. You are not deceiving them or misleading them. If, after some time of this your new pattern is noticed, someone will probably say "Hey, you haven't been drinking at all lately. What's up?" Then you can answer something along the lines of "I've made a number of changes in my life lately..." and talk about Jesus Christ, not about booze."
This is sound advice, which I think would be an excellent way to approach this issue with non-believers. But what should my approach be with my Christian friends who get drunk constantly?
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I think you need to have individual, private conversations with your Christian friends.
The Bible has spelled out exactly how we are to confront one another and to deal with conflict.
Rather than my giving you a thumbnail outline or copying it all down, take a look at www.hispeace.com That's the web site for Peacemaker Ministries and they have a complete outline of the sequence of things you should do - starting with a prayerful examination of self.
Keep us posted!
The Bible has spelled out exactly how we are to confront one another and to deal with conflict.
Rather than my giving you a thumbnail outline or copying it all down, take a look at www.hispeace.com That's the web site for Peacemaker Ministries and they have a complete outline of the sequence of things you should do - starting with a prayerful examination of self.
Keep us posted!
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Rafael
Only time enough for love
I agree that talking to others about sin should be done one on one, but I think that only the Holy Spirit can convict another believer who is not following after the Lord in obedience. If another believer sins against you personally, then the scripture does give us specific instructions in Matthew 18:15-17.
If I wanted to drink a drink, I'd have one, but if I didn't, I'd just say no. There is a time and a place for all things, and forcing issues usually end in failure. Prayer and listening to God's Holy Spirit for the timing with others would probably have you not standing up and preaching in a tavern, although there are some people that would probably tell you that is good - but it wouldn't be me. I don't think Jesus operated in that fashion, but was sure rough with the nit-picking religious folk of His day, the Pharisees. They were known for straining knats and swallowing camels over smaller things while leaving bigger issues like justice and love undone, and He told them they were vipers and dead inside. Being natural and telling the truth, without airs, is better, and your friends may respect you more for that. Some will not, though, and there are always a few open to the enemies spirit to give you a hard time no matter what.
I think that link is http://www.hispeace.org/
Lots of witnessing tools and advice are available on the net, but just true love and honesty goes a long ways. Love covers a multitude of sins.
http://www.intouch.org/myintouch/exploring/bible_says/witnessing/index_129551.html
1 Peter 2:12 Be careful how you live among your unbelieving neighbors. Even if they accuse you of doing wrong, they will see your honorable behavior, and they will believe and give honor to God when he comes to judge the world.
1Pe 4:8 Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.
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Jesus didn't turn water into wine for people just to marvel at the miracle. The wine was drank at the wedding party. You can feel free to have a few drinks with your friends. Jesus ate with people his disciples didn't care for. So long as you set a good example for God's glory you will be fine.
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Im right there with Desi. Unless you have some sort of specific drinking proble, having a couple drinks and even feeling a "slight buzz" is not sinful at all. It becomes sinful when you allow it to control your thoughts and actions, then it becomes your god and is idolatry. The bible blatantly states that being a drunken fool is sinful, so as long as you dont become a drunken fool off of 1 or a few beers, don't sweat it. Not to mention, i've had some pretty down to earth religious talks with friends after a few beers, lol, not really the recommended method of evangelism, but hopefully you get my point. If you do have a problem, or you simply choose not to drink at all for personal reasons, just tell them you dont like the taste(if you haven't drank with them in the past), or you have to drive, or just tell them straight up you dont want any, but by no means does being a Christian mean supporting %100 prohibition, Jesus drank wine numerous times as written in the Gospel....
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Desi, Caelum...The poster is 18 and lives in the USA. For him, drinking isn't good because it is also illegal...and we are supposed to obey the law of the land. Now we can argue the point of the 21-year drinking age (which i am against, for the record), but as it stands now, there seem to be multiple reasons to avoid drinking.
I didn't drink before I was a Christian, and have only drank a little bit afterwards. I usually just say "no thank you" or say "i just don't like the stuff". I have had conversations with Christian friends in which i explained that drinking socially as a part of a social event makes sense to me, but drinking with the intention of getting drunk as the whole purpose didn't seem to be in line with Scripture (or common sense). Generally speaking, I had these conversations outside of the drinking situation in a neutral setting, and they were initiated by my friends. One of my friends got really condescending with me and started trying to justify her actions. I could tell that my words had hit home.
My non-Christian friends generally speaking have been way more understanding of my decision not to drink!?! My Christian friends tend to be the ones now (and I'm 24!) that pressure me/try to make me see the "light" regarding drinking. Too bad I just don't like the taste of alcohol. That more than anything drives my abstinence now.
-rosanne
I didn't drink before I was a Christian, and have only drank a little bit afterwards. I usually just say "no thank you" or say "i just don't like the stuff". I have had conversations with Christian friends in which i explained that drinking socially as a part of a social event makes sense to me, but drinking with the intention of getting drunk as the whole purpose didn't seem to be in line with Scripture (or common sense). Generally speaking, I had these conversations outside of the drinking situation in a neutral setting, and they were initiated by my friends. One of my friends got really condescending with me and started trying to justify her actions. I could tell that my words had hit home.
My non-Christian friends generally speaking have been way more understanding of my decision not to drink!?! My Christian friends tend to be the ones now (and I'm 24!) that pressure me/try to make me see the "light" regarding drinking. Too bad I just don't like the taste of alcohol. That more than anything drives my abstinence now.
-rosanne
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Well, you're an American and the drinking age is 21. So you've got that.
Also, it's tricky. In other countries there isn't this...stigma attached to alcohol. If you knock back a few beers, it's like having a coke.
I choose not to drink because I want to be a good example and have integrity with the teens I talk to. It's perfectly legal to drink for me and I have no problem with having a few. But I think of you guys watching me through a knothole. I think of you guys seeing me drink. I don't like the feeling i get when I think of that. I think I show you that I love you by choosing not to drink. Or it's a way I can show you that. It's a personal conviction.
In high school I always hung out with friends who drank or were on drugs. I drove them where they needed to go. I took their girlfriends home when they needed to go home. None of them ever had a wreck from driving drunk. They were great friends. If I could go back and do it again, they'd still be my closest friends. I wouldn't change anything.
Also, it's tricky. In other countries there isn't this...stigma attached to alcohol. If you knock back a few beers, it's like having a coke.
I choose not to drink because I want to be a good example and have integrity with the teens I talk to. It's perfectly legal to drink for me and I have no problem with having a few. But I think of you guys watching me through a knothole. I think of you guys seeing me drink. I don't like the feeling i get when I think of that. I think I show you that I love you by choosing not to drink. Or it's a way I can show you that. It's a personal conviction.
In high school I always hung out with friends who drank or were on drugs. I drove them where they needed to go. I took their girlfriends home when they needed to go home. None of them ever had a wreck from driving drunk. They were great friends. If I could go back and do it again, they'd still be my closest friends. I wouldn't change anything.
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"Im right there with Desi. Unless you have some sort of specific drinking proble, having a couple drinks and even feeling a "slight buzz" is not sinful at all. It becomes sinful when you allow it to control your thoughts and actions, then it becomes your god and is idolatry."
I totally agree, however that is not my point. I am not trying to make the argument that drinking is wrong. In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with having a drink or two. But again, that is not the situation I am describing. My friends are not having a drink or two. They only drink with the intent to get drunk, ever. And quite honestly it has gotten bad. I know one friend in particular has gotten drunk every night for over the past week. And none of them want to just hang out, or do something unless they are getting drunk/high. So in my opinion, they are walking down dangerous road.
The purpose of my post was not to argue the rightness/wrongness of drinking. Because quite honestly I think we are all in agreement on the subject. So I apologize if my first post was a little unclear. What I am trying to do is find out how I should talk with my Christian friends who are the ones getting drunk constantly. Or what I should say on one of the rare occassions that I decide to go to a party with all this going on. Most all the people at said parties are people who have seen me drinking in the past and know that I used to get drunk. What they don't know is that I have comitted my life to Christ (for real this time). So what I am unsure about is how to respond to their questions of why aren't you drinking?
I totally agree, however that is not my point. I am not trying to make the argument that drinking is wrong. In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with having a drink or two. But again, that is not the situation I am describing. My friends are not having a drink or two. They only drink with the intent to get drunk, ever. And quite honestly it has gotten bad. I know one friend in particular has gotten drunk every night for over the past week. And none of them want to just hang out, or do something unless they are getting drunk/high. So in my opinion, they are walking down dangerous road.
The purpose of my post was not to argue the rightness/wrongness of drinking. Because quite honestly I think we are all in agreement on the subject. So I apologize if my first post was a little unclear. What I am trying to do is find out how I should talk with my Christian friends who are the ones getting drunk constantly. Or what I should say on one of the rare occassions that I decide to go to a party with all this going on. Most all the people at said parties are people who have seen me drinking in the past and know that I used to get drunk. What they don't know is that I have comitted my life to Christ (for real this time). So what I am unsure about is how to respond to their questions of why aren't you drinking?
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Rafael
Only time enough for love
Tell the turth. Maybe you will find out if they are really friends or just aquaintances. If your afraid that you will not received in a bar.....well, a bar isn't really a place where people expect much more than fellowship, fun, and drinking. Perhaps they will talk about your being Christian and put you down, but that has to be expected to some degree as a Christian. We all will be persecuted to some degree for our faith during this life, following Jesus. I'm just not sure that telling them you don't drink because your a Christian will be the right way to open conversation with them about your faith when you think it's OK to drink a few drinks. Just say I prefer to not get drunk, but if you think they are destroying their lives and you are concerned that they are, just say so, but don't expect them to agree.Servant991 said:
I think I would try to open this converstaion with them one at a time and when they were sober and not sitting in a bar drinking. I might go better.
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Servant991 it is a really bad idea for you to drink underage as getting busted can wreck things down the road for you depending on what you want to do, sorry didn't check your age before I first posted. I knew a guy who didn't like drinking so he poured out the beer and filled the can with water and sipped it almost until people got suspicious then he'd repeat the process...
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Thanks for the advice Raphe.
"Servant991 it is a really bad idea for you to drink underage as getting busted can wreck things down the road for you depending on what you want to do, sorry didn't check your age before I first posted."
Thus why I don't drink at all... Thank you for your concern all the same though.
"Servant991 it is a really bad idea for you to drink underage as getting busted can wreck things down the road for you depending on what you want to do, sorry didn't check your age before I first posted."
Thus why I don't drink at all... Thank you for your concern all the same though.
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