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What should I do?

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Robbie_James_Francis

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As a gay man who wants a long-term, monogamous and fulfilling relationship, what would the Religious Right suggest I do? Try to change my sexuality? Live a lonely and unfulfilled life of self-imposed celibacy? Or be myself and seek fulfilment? I believe straight marriage is great and should continue to be protected by law, I have no interest whatsoever in sleeping around or eroding social morals about the beauty of long-term monogamous relationships (in fact that's what I want). But should I accept little or no recognition of my relationship? Why I can't be married?
 

Kroger99

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As a gay man who wants a long-term, monogamous and fulfilling relationship, what would the Religious Right suggest I do? Try to change my sexuality? Live a lonely and unfulfilled life of self-imposed celibacy? Or be myself and seek fulfilment? I believe straight marriage is great and should continue to be protected by law, I have no interest whatsoever in sleeping around or eroding social morals about the beauty of long-term monogamous relationships (in fact that's what I want). But should I accept little or no recognition of my relationship? Why I can't be married?
What does the Humanist Religion suggest?
As a Christian, I would suggest giving this problem to God and let Him guide you and allow Him have any and all problems that you might have. I can honestly say that I never stand taller than when I am on my knees. :thumbsup:
 
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selfinflikted

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What does the Humanist Religion suggest?
As a Christian, I would suggest giving this problem to God and let Him guide you and allow Him have any and all problems that you might have. I can honestly say that I never stand taller than when I am on my knees. :thumbsup:

I too, am a gay man, and was once a christian. I tried to "give my problem to god" but, it was an empty gesture. I prayed, waited, hoped, prayed some more... but nothing ever happened - nothing ever changed.

All I ever wanted was pretty much what the OP wants - a steady, monogamous relationship. Luckily, I found that almost 6 years ago :) The end of this month will see my 6 year anniversary! Robbie, don't give up! You will eventually find what you're looking for, and I'm almost certain it will be better than expected :)
 
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HappyHealthyHolyRoller

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First off, the "Religious Right" is a phrase that's coined by the liberal leftists. If you were to ask them what exactly a religious right person stands for, chances are you'd get a multitude of answers.
"A guy who believes in Jesus, goes to church and votes for Republicans."
"A guy who goes around telling everyone how to behave."
"A guy who rants and raves, flailing his arms, saying God hates homosexuals."

Secondly, the gay community has to find their own definition of marriage. The great flaw in their thinking is they don't want to get married (since when does a guy who like has well over 1,000 partners a year on average have any interest in monogamy?); they want to promote equality of sexual orientation.
Promoting equality of sexual orientation is a good thisg, but the gay community's approach is bad. They want to be married just as we are, even though they are anything but us.
They have different lifestyles. They have different ways of using their reproductive organs. They are unable to procreate.
These three differences alone should be a rally-cry for them to find their own method of courting and marriage.

Anyone who wants to defeat the recent pro-normal marriage statutes has a manner of thinking that can best be described as a genetic mutation. There is just no other way to explain how someone can vote like this otehr than a fundamentally flawed way of cognition and thinking.
 
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HappyHealthyHolyRoller

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Again, to answer the poster's question, "What should I do," he should find a suitable alternative to our idea of marriage, then bring the idea to either the Supreme Court or other legislative body.
They will hear the idea and an entirely new category of marriage (marriage for same-sex couples) will be instituted.

The poster and gays like him will not take this logical route, however, because his aim is not to get married (it never was), but to make a political statement.
Gays are protesting the traditional idea of marriage not out of the desire for a marriage, but to make a political statement. They really don't give a damn about getting married.
Sad. :(
 
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OphidiaPhile

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First off, the "Religious Right" is a phrase that's coined by the liberal leftists. If you were to ask them what exactly a religious right person stands for, chances are you'd get a multitude of answers.
"A guy who believes in Jesus, goes to church and votes for Republicans."
"A guy who goes around telling everyone how to behave."
"A guy who rants and raves, flailing his arms, saying God hates homosexuals."

Secondly, the gay community has to find their own definition of marriage. The great flaw in their thinking is they don't want to get married (since when does a guy who like has well over 1,000 partners a year on average have any interest in monogamy?); they want to promote equality of sexual orientation.
Promoting equality of sexual orientation is a good thisg, but the gay community's approach is bad. They want to be married just as we are, even though they are anything but us.
They have different lifestyles. They have different ways of using their reproductive organs. They are unable to procreate.
These three differences alone should be a rally-cry for them to find their own method of courting and marriage.

Anyone who wants to defeat the recent pro-normal marriage statutes has a manner of thinking that can best be described as a genetic mutation. There is just no other way to explain how someone can vote like this otehr than a fundamentally flawed way of cognition and thinking.

Marriage is NOT just a Christian idea, it existed before Christianity you just adopted it as everyone else on the planet has. Marriage is not for procreation as I and many others like myself are either now married or plan to get married and have no desire to have children. Look at the number of open marriages that exist in heterosexual relationships the fact of the matter is that as much as you wish it were true there is no such thing as a "normal" marriage.

And as for your idea that all homosexual men are promiscuous that is a very illogical assumption I have been far more promiscuous than the vast majority of gay men I have known as were my fellow college football players.

And no there is not a genetic mutation that increases the likelihood of being open minded because if there were I would be the first to want to incorporate it into more people.
 
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OphidiaPhile

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As a gay man who wants a long-term, monogamous and fulfilling relationship, what would the Religious Right suggest I do? Try to change my sexuality? Live a lonely and unfulfilled life of self-imposed celibacy? Or be myself and seek fulfilment? I believe straight marriage is great and should continue to be protected by law, I have no interest whatsoever in sleeping around or eroding social morals about the beauty of long-term monogamous relationships (in fact that's what I want). But should I accept little or no recognition of my relationship? Why I can't be married?

Christians claim that being gay is a choice but yet basic biology clearly states otherwise. There are over 1000 species of animals that have homosexual populations and the vast majority are not sentient and instead rely on hormonal and instinctual clues to pick a mating partner since it is in no way a choice for them how could another animal species be any different. Just be a good compassionate and caring human being and that is all humanity can ask for.
 
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selfinflikted

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Secondly, the gay community has to find their own definition of marriage. The great flaw in their thinking is they don't want to get married (since when does a guy who like has well over 1,000 partners a year on average have any interest in monogamy?); they want to promote equality of sexual orientation.

You are wrong to paint homosexuals with such a broad brush. There are plenty of us who are not promiscuous, and who do want for a monogamous relationship. Whatever you heard or read about gays having 1,000 partners per year is just absurd. I'm asking you now to stop repeating this lie.


They have different lifestyles.

It is also wrong to assume that all gays live the same "lifestyle", or whatever that is supposed to mean. There is no such thing as a "gay lifestyle" in reality. I live just a different a life as my straight and gay neighbor. None of us are the same. Interestingly, are you insinuating that there's a "heterosexual lifestyle" as opposed to a "gay" one?


They have different ways of using their reproductive organs.


Yes, because all heterosexuals have sex only one way. This is an absurd statement, considering straight people can and do do everything gays can do in bed.

They are unable to procreate.

So are some heterosexual couples.

The poster and gays like him will not take this logical route, however, because his aim is not to get married (it never was), but to make a political statement.
Gays are protesting the traditional idea of marriage not out of the desire for a marriage, but to make a political statement. They really don't give a damn about getting married.
Sad. :(

No, it's sad that some people actually believe this nonsense. One of the top things on my "want" list out of life, is to be able to marry my partner in the eyes of the law. There are some gay people who don't want marriage, sure, and to those people I suggest that they simply don't get married. There are, however, some of us that do wish to get married, and for all the same reasons any heterosexual couple would want to get married.
 
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gwenmead

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Robbie_James_Francis said:
As a gay man who wants a long-term, monogamous and fulfilling relationship, what would the Religious Right suggest I do?

My spider sense is telling me that the Religious Right, generally speaking, would suggest you simply not exist; or if you absolutely must exist, please do so out of sight, where nobody has to put up with your depravity, your unnaturalness, and oh oh oh would you please think of the CHILDREN??

Really, though, the Religious Right can sod off. What does it matter, what they'd suggest you do for your life? Are you supposed to live your life according to their needs, or your own? Okay, so a religious conservative might rather see you curl up and vanish, but tough beans for them. We get to live with them, they get to live with the rest of us too - works both ways.

The place where it matters is the political arena, in the fight to obtain full rights for GLBT folks under the law. People vote their values, dontcha know.

I'm optimistic that someday you'll have the right to marry. Heck, it's already happening, one nation at a time, one state at a time, slowly but surely, all around the world. It'll get there. :)
 
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Garyzenuf

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...(since when does a guy who like has well over 1,000 partners a year on average have any interest in monogamy)...

You're right HHHR, he's probably much more interested in re-constructive groin surgery at this point. ;)

P.S.- By the way, IMO., you have a heart of stone, and you're a bigot.
 
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B'alaam

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First off, the "Religious Right" is a phrase that's coined by the liberal leftists.
And liberal leftists is a term that's coined by the religious right
You dont even understand what Liberalism (in it's many forms) means
If you were to ask them what exactly a religious right person stands for, chances are you'd get a multitude of answers.
"A guy who believes in Jesus, goes to church and votes for Republicans."
"A guy who goes around telling everyone how to behave."
"A guy who rants and raves, flailing his arms, saying God hates homosexuals."
My answer would be-
"A person who claims to be born of the Spirit, and does EVERYTHING they can to live up to the standards of Jesus"
And yes, I'm a liberal.

Secondly, the gay community has to find their own definition of marriage.
That is a lie
A lie
You know what the NT says about liars, right?
The great flaw in their thinking is they don't want to get married (since when does a guy who like has well over 1,000 partners a year on average have any interest in monogamy?);
1000 partners a year?
Where the hell do you get these numbers?
I think you're just making it up and LYING
What does the Bible say about liars?
they want to promote equality of sexual orientation.
Promoting equality of sexual orientation is a good thisg, but the gay community's approach is bad. They want to be married just as we are, even though they are anything but us.
"Anything but us"?
Oh, thats perfect!
Just like blacks were (not too many decades ago) "anything but us"
Just like Jews were (not too many decades and centuries ago) "anything but us"
They have different lifestyles.
So do Muslims
I pointedly note that you are NOT trying to make Islam illegal in the USA.
(of course, you'll probably miss that point of hypocrisy on your end)
They have different ways of using their reproductive organs. They are unable to procreate.
And, according to the belief systems laid out by the NT, Muslims and (religious) Jews are UNABLE to to worship the "correct" Deity.
What do the commandments say about that?
Why aren't you trying to make Islam or Judaism illegal?


Anyone who wants to defeat the recent pro-normal marriage statutes has a manner of thinking that can best be described as a genetic mutation. There is just no other way to explain how someone can vote like this otehr than a fundamentally flawed way of cognition and thinking.
So, based on your own statements, you will be doing EVERYTHING you can to ban Islam and Judaism (not to mention all the other "pagan" faiths) within the USA?

Until you do that, I (and others) see through your hypocrisy.
When you do that, however, THEN I will understand that you actually uphold your Bible.
 
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BigBadWlf

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"A guy who rants and raves, flailing his arms, saying God hates homosexuals."
This describes you pretty well.

Secondly, the gay community has to find their own definition of marriage.
You have yet to provide a definition of discrimination and bigotry that allows you to promote such things against the minorities you are attacking


The great flaw in their thinking is they don't want to get married (since when does a guy who like has well over 1,000 partners a year on average have any interest in monogamy?);
One of the more common lies of the religious right. Your assertion of the numbers of sexual partners a gay man has is completely without basis. In studies comparing gay men and heterosexual men it was found that heterosexuals actually have more sexual partners than gay men.
Laumann, Edward O., John H. Gagnon, Robert Michael, and Stuart Michaels, 1994. The Social Organization of Sexuality: Sexual Practices in the United States. Chicago: University of Chicago Press. Found no difference in the numbers of lifetime sexual partners when comparing heterosexual men to gay men.

Vierod E. A. “Prevalence and trends in homosexual behavior in Norway” Scandinavian Journal of Social Medicine. 1997. Vo. 25(1):33-38. Studied large numbers of heterosexual and gay men over a period of years. It was found that Gay men averaged 1 sexual partner in a given year. Heterosexual men, on the other hand, averaged 4.6 partners per year.

Dolcini “Demographic Characterizes of Heterosexuals with Multiple Partners: The National AIDS Behavioral Surveys” Family Planning Perspectives. 1993. Vol. 25 (5): 203-214 found gay men had significantly fewer sexual partners compared to heterosexual men:
Gay men:
0 partners-10.5%,
1 partner-77.9%,
2 or more-11.2%
heterosexual men:
0 partners-17.9%,
1 partner 53.1.9%
2 or more 29.1%

Bryant and Demian “Partners National Survey of Lesbian & Gay Couples” Journal of Gay and Lesbian Social Services (Vol. 1, #2, 1994) found that 78% of gay men were either in a mutually monogamous relationship or was celibate. They also found that 26.4% of married heterosexual men were having sexual contact with at least one other woman (a quarter fo these men were having sexual intercourse with multiple women)




Look at your argument from the other way round: According to the US Department of Justice, an estimated 28% of black males will enter State or Federal prison during their lifetime compared to less than 2% of white males. What does this tell us about the criminal propensity of the black male compared to the white male? Should we conclude that being black has some causal correlation to committing crime? Should we conclude that black men are intrinsically violent? Should we restrict black men from certain activities and freedoms simply because other black men have committed crimes in greater proportion than white men?


Promoting equality of sexual orientation is a good thisg, but the gay community's approach is bad. They want to be married just as we are, even though they are anything but us.
They have different lifestyles. They have different ways of using their reproductive organs. They are unable to procreate.
Should discrimination be applied to infertile heterosexuals? Or is that different somehow and you want this to only apply to minorities you have chosen to hate?
 
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Beanieboy

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Secondly, the gay community has to find their own definition of marriage. The great flaw in their thinking is they don't want to get married (since when does a guy who like has well over 1,000 partners a year on average have any interest in monogamy?); they want to promote equality of sexual orientation.

Here, one of the people that you address uses false data, and accuses homosexuals of promiscuity, and having no interest in monogamous relationships. While condemning promiscuity, gay marriage is also opposed.

Is this someone that you should be asking the question to?
 
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B'alaam

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Gay men averaged 1 sexual partner in a given year. Heterosexual men, on the other hand, averaged 4.6 partners per year.

Dolcini “Demographic Characterizes of Heterosexuals with Multiple Partners: The National AIDS Behavioral Surveys” Family Planning Perspectives. 1993. Vol. 25 (5): 203-214 found gay men had significantly fewer sexual partners compared to heterosexual men:
Gay men:
0 partners-10.5%,
1 partner-77.9%,
2 or more-11.2%
heterosexual men:
0 partners-17.9%,
1 partner 53.1.9%
2 or more 29.1%
Wow
Seriously, wow.
People like CIC, PCF and others apparently should be looking to outlaw male heterosexual premarital sexual relations.

'Cause, ya know, the heteros are not only indulging in pre-marital sex more often, but they're also engaging in rampant sin.

Of course, we'll never see CIC, PCF and their ilk actually railing against premarital sex and speaking about how it should be illegal.
And if they do (because of what was just said) it will be a token post of hypocrisy at best.


I dont expect anything better from the Pharisees that BeanieBoy describes.
 
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OphidiaPhile

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Wow
Seriously, wow.
People like CIC, PCF and others apparently should be looking to outlaw male heterosexual premarital sexual relations.

'Cause, ya know, the heteros are not only indulging in pre-marital sex more often, but they're also engaging in rampant sin.

Of course, we'll never see CIC, PCF and their ilk actually railing against premarital sex and speaking about how it should be illegal.
And if they do (because of what was just said) it will be a token post of hypocrisy at best.


I dont expect anything better from the Pharisees that BeanieBoy describes.

I would be burned at the stake if they knew how many partners I have had.
 
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HappyHealthyHolyRoller

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I already told you guys that if you equate your perversion with the sufferings my race had to endure I'm gonna report you and I'm not kidding!
While we were being lynched and had to drink from separate water fountains you people were cheerfully and gayily prancing around in one of your Halloween/pride festivals replete with sex toys, pornography, obscene dress and other abberancies.
I am very angry at you people and so is my race in general, now quit it!
 
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OphidiaPhile

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I already told you guys that if you equate your perversion with the sufferings my race had to endure I'm gonna report you and I'm not kidding!
While we were being lynched and had to drink from separate water fountains you people were cheerfully and gayily prancing around in one of your Halloween/pride festivals replete with sex toys, pornography, obscene dress and other abberancies.
I am very angry at you people and so is my race in general, now quit it!

And I just made another donation to the No on 8 campaign in your honor.
 
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Polycarp_fan

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As a gay man who wants a long-term, monogamous and fulfilling relationship, what would the Religious Right suggest I do?

Become a Christian and get married the way Jesus described marriage. A man and a woman. It's safe to say that the Apostles and Jesus are to be categorized as Religious Right members. Kinda-sorta.

Try to change my sexuality?

What? Why? Ask yourself: What genitalia do I possess? Sexual orientation is shown from there.

Live a lonely and unfulfilled life of self-imposed celibacy?

That's not a Religious Right demand. Find a nice woman and get married. That's the Christian way.

Or be myself and seek fulfilment?

If that is what you choose.

I believe straight marriage is great and should continue to be protected by law,

How nice. I never knew you gays wanted it outlawed.

I have no interest whatsoever in sleeping around or eroding social morals about the beauty of long-term monogamous relationships (in fact that's what I want).

You don't need marriage for that.

But should I accept little or no recognition of my relationship?

Why should you expect any recognition of it in the firstplace. Your private life is yours and yours alone. Even if it includes someone else.

Why I can't be married?

What's your point here? Who, or what, are you asking? A Religious Right proponent will find you a good Pastor to marry you and your female finacee if you are Christians, or, at least one of you are. You can always marry a woman in a civil union. Or, just live in a life-long committed relationship.
 
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OphidiaPhile

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I just do not get this supposed logic that gay people can just decide to pick a member of the opposite sex and get married, seriously the more I read this stuff the more I realize that the country is populated by a bunch or incredibly ignorant, uneducated morons. It is also shown that gay and lesbian people that enter into a marriage with a member of the opposite sex are incredibly unhappy as is the person they marry and children notice this they are not stupid yet the supposed Christians think your desires will just go away and all will be fine because they do not have to know about it.

I find big chests and blond hair to be incredibly unattractive so I guess I should marry Pam Anderson by the logic around here (I just threw up a little). I do not know any gay men or lesbian women that are attracted to the opposite sex any more than I am attracted to my own gender.
 
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Beanieboy

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I already told you guys that if you equate your perversion with the sufferings my race had to endure I'm gonna report you and I'm not kidding!
While we were being lynched and had to drink from separate water fountains you people were cheerfully and gayily prancing around in one of your Halloween/pride festivals replete with sex toys, pornography, obscene dress and other abberancies.
I am very angry at you people and so is my race in general, now quit it!

Maybe you should read up on gay rights before you think that we were at Gay Pride Festivals having a merry time.

I did not equate them.
I pointed out the similarities.
What I don't understand is why you think that you should be granted equality, and then deny it to another.

Btw - my partner is black, and he talks about the similarities as well.
They both have oppression and injustice in common.

You can feel free to report us. We haven't broken any of the board's rules.
 
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