What should I do?! Help!

[We All Need Solace]

Okey.. So it all started with this girl which had some troubles with some editing program. I told her that I could try and help her.

She thanked for what I did to her and I said that if she ever needed more help I would be there for her. (This happened over the Internet)

One day I noticed she posted about sadness and I asked her what was wrong. She told me that she had major problems with her dad and no friends.

(EDIT: I meant with her dad's new woman/girlfriend)

I felt realy bad for that girl so I gave her some helping words.
Some words like "You should always know that there is
always someone out there that cares about you" and
"If you ever get hurt then I will share the pain with you,
together we can make it".

She got all like happy and I realy liked her personality!
She is pretty aswell.. But I'm just not the guy who only judge people
by their look. I could tell that she was kindhearted. Her name is Angel xD

Basicly now we are in love but we live sooo faaar away from each other.
I'm 17 teen now and I told that I will save money for a trip to her country!

No matter what happens to her I willl protect her.
No matter what get's in our way we will face it together.

I asked her what would happen if I left her.
She said she would cry until she dies!
I realy felt bad for her and I don't wanna make anyone cry!

So now the only thing holding us back is the trip that
I have to take to her country.
Do you think this will be a possible scenario when I get 18 and start making money?

I live in Norway, I'm 17 and I'm a uber christian.
I believe in victory over sinn and that we that we can get
"cleaned for our sinns" (Sorry I'm bad at english).
But just because you can get "cleaned for your sinns" doesn't
mean you can abuse that sentence. I will to my best.

So yeah my problem is as stated before, will love hold
long enough for me to visit her and make her my girl?
She has suffered enough. I'm willing to earn money and
spend them


Now, please share your thoughts about this problem!
on visiting her.

 

[GarrickBrewer]

You have to make sacrifices and pray to God, show Him that you love her, show him how much you care for her, promise him to bring her to Him, but the whole time make sure that you never make her more important than God (I almost made that mistake and as it was I was not happy till I realised what was wrong and fixed it.)

 

[Girder of Loins]

I agree with Garrick on this one. If you truly love her, you must bring her closer to God. If you really love her, then making a trip out there is a good sacrifice. It will show God you are serious, and not looking for some hot chick. Pray constantly, this is a big decision. And you're English is awesome!

 

[RipleyCountyChristian]

Well I can't say much more than Garrick and GoL have said...they have basically said what I would say

 

[Rhayven]

First off let me say welcome to the forums and I hope you come back and check up on this thread. Because what i'm about to say is probably something you don't want to hear but I did take time to write this, so I hope you do come back and check in to see some of the replies here. With that said..

Have you met this person in real life? If no then you really need to seek God's voice in this situation because most of the time having a net only relationship can get very very very dangerous because our imagination will run rampage and will lead you to create this image of this person you love but it is tainted if have not met this person in real life. You say you live in another country? I know so many couples that move only a city away; none the less a whole country away and it really destroy their relationship.. why? because something happens when you see the person in person. It is scientifically proven that every human releases pheromones and that is what attracts us to that person. So I really worry about your infatuation with her. Just reading through your post it really indicates that you kind of love her because she loves you? Also starting your relationship because of her need or pain. It is a terrible basis for a relationship. There is a theory called the love vacuum and reading through your thread it really showed me that there is some of this going on. I'm not accusing you or her of this but from what "you" said it really is obvious for me which I have had lot of experience in. Meaning I got out of a nasty relationship and this was one of the sole reasons. So back to this theory. Love Vacuum. What is a vacuum? It is something that sucks up trash or junk, but in this case it is love. It is a vacuum that sucks of love from people and this normally occurs when the individuals has a bad relationship with their parents and more so their father. So when you said she had bad relationship with her dad. It pretty much sealed the deal and she fits in to this perfectly. So the good news out of all of this. A person can come out of this situation, it's not easy. Really it's actually quite hard. But even though you love her you can't ultimately change her. This is something that she has to deal with, she is going to have to make up a decision to be transformed from this way of thinking to being filled with God's love. So about now you are saying what does God's love has to do with this? Well, it has everything to do with it. Already you know now that 'love vacuum' sucks of up love, but what causes it? Let's back track, earlier I was talking about her father relationship.. If her father relationship sucks her relationship with her heavenly Father will be inadequate.. meaning that she doesn't have anything to base it off of. So her way of thinking right now is insufficient to even have a serious or real relationship. I know you love her but wouldn't you want the relationship to be healthy? This really concerns me that if you guys did not meet in real life, the basis of this relationship is blurred or even jaded. So I've said all of this to tell you that a person CAN come out of this. But you shouldn't feel obligated to love her or take care of her because of her lack of love. If she does not fix this for herself, she will suck all of your love and will turn you into her. Thus creating another love vacuum and the cycle begins.

I can't stress enough that she should deal with her issues first before you take it serious, serious as to actually go to another country to see her. Also if your still reading this and not ticked off at me. Please take caution because you wouldn't want to have done all of this in vain. If you really love her and she really loves you back. You need to let her know that you will be there for her because as it stands she doesn't need a boyfriend (as hard as it sounds it's true) she needs a friend. Lastly if all you did was scroll to the bottom of this message, please know that her relationship with her father and her Heavenly Father is vital for success in the future and a healthy relationship.

~kkthxbai

PS! If you want to talk to me personally just PM me. I'd be more than gladly to talk deeper and further into this theory and if YOU just need a friend we can talk about anything on your mind. Because you really do seem like a really really nice guy and I'd hate to see you get hurt because she didnt heal her empty heart. Oh that reminds me.

Love vacuum in a nut shell:

person>
finds another person with love>
sucks their love till they don't have anymore>
moves on to another person>
sucks their love till they don't have anymore>
~the cycle is and endless one. Most likely it is because there is a void that can't be filled.

So if she doesn't fix this she will move onto another person once she sucks all the love out of you. ~~OH I know it sounds bad but it will happen if she doesn't heal it.

 

[We All Need Solace]

Thanks for your welcome message, I will definately check this site more.

No, I haven't met this person in real life.
But I do know how she looks and she knows how I look like.

Okey.. I kinda told you the wrong thing..
She loves her dad alot. Her dad got divorced.
Now her dad is engaged with another woman!
She doesn't like her dad's woman because she
called her a "b*t*h".

She has almost been raped..
Don't worry she is still clean..
The boy who tryed to rape her was evil and wanted
nothing else than the "s" word.
She escaped with a cut on her back.
This is just sad.. She almost got raped by her ex-boyfriend.

So yeah, I would like to her you reply on this topic "Rhayven" because you
realy seem like you have a point in your message.
I know this will hurt me.. But I don't want to cause me and her even more pain..

Halp!

 

[Unfit'for'swine]

Guy, finish your education, get a degree, and then worry about moving out to her. Yeah you'll have love, but I've seen what happens to "love" when you don't have any money. It can really ruin you and her.

If you save all your money for one trip, then what? You'll go there, be with her for like a couple of days and then go back home. Then the emptiness and loneliness returns.

Everyone has their baggage, and don't feel like you have to rescue her because she dated the wrong guy, I've known a girl who was pregnant, she wanted to date me, and I wanted to date her(back in my NSUK years of studying, back when I was like 13 or something). Anyway, what then? I would have had to have taken care of her and her kid, having no money I would probably have to stop studying and get a job.

The thing is, without an education you have nothing and if you care about each-other like you say, then she'll wait for you.

Visiting her for a couple of days to make her your girlfriend sounds like a bad idea. She'll be lonely, you'll be lonely and then she might look for attention from the wrong guys to fill the loneliness.

God bless

 

[We All Need Solace]

Yeah, I guess you're right..
Ouch this will hurt.. But it will hurt even more if I keep loving her..
Also, I'm not far away from finishing my education and getting a real good job..
I need 5 more months in school and then I can work for this company to get my 2 year education done.

My future is realy promising.. I'm just a stupid boy who feel in love with a fallen angel..
I still love her.. But maybe I should try and forget this and after I have finished my education I can try again?

 

[Unfit'for'swine]

Yeah, I guess you're right..
Ouch this will hurt.. But it will hurt even more if I keep loving her..
Also, I'm not far away from finishing my education and getting a real good job..
I need 5 more months in school and then I can work for this company to get my 2 year education done.

My future is realy promising.. I'm just a stupid boy who feel in love with a fallen angel..
I still love her.. But maybe I should try and forget this and after I have finished my education I can try again?

Dude... five months isn't a long time to wait >.>

Your seventeen, and i'm assuming she's about the same age. Just wait, don't put anything off or cancel the relationship.

Keep loving her from a long-distance relationship, and over time you'll see the real her, not just the way you feel right now. I've been in love, I know how you feel and the pain of separation. But the good thing is, she loves you back and if she really loves you then she'll wait.

 

[We All Need Solace]

Hey thanks! Just the advice I needed!
This will be a loooooong bumpy ride.

But I will stay strong. I pray for her every night.
I hope she does the same for me.

Five months.. Five months..
Then maybe I can visit her in the summer..
After that I will finish my education.. Then I will visit her once again or maybe move over to her..

She believes in Angels and Fallen Angels..
Right now she says she will be a fallen angel without me..
I feel so sad for her..

Also what is the name of the church that has it's own book about Angels and Fallen Angels?

 

[Unfit'for'swine]

Hey thanks! Just the advice I needed!
This will be a loooooong bumpy ride.

Usually is, but keep the faith and stay strong in the Lord

But I will stay strong. I pray for her every night.
I hope she does the same for me.

Well just keep praying, if you need more prayer then just ask around here.

Five months.. Five months..

Dude, if this is love then you'll be together for the rest of your lives. So Chill out. I'd wait years for love, and i'm just stunned you'd be impatient about a thing like this.

Then maybe I can visit her in the summer..
After that I will finish my education.. Then I will visit her once again or maybe move over to her..

Guy, you need to ask her father if you can date her first. You're sounding like your thinking with your hormones and not your brain. What is the Christian way to approach this? If you go there, then you need to ask her father's permission. Because she belongs to him and not you, and until you get married to said person then you need to act like she belongs to him.

She believes in Angels and Fallen Angels..
Right now she says she will be a fallen angel without me..
I feel so sad for her..

That sounds slightly over-dramatic to me, and don't give her a reason to be depressed, if you love her then you'll reassure her of your presence in her life. Don't keep asking, "What'll you do without me?" and stuff like that, make her feel valued in your eyes, tell her that you need her, but don't threaten or even mention leaving her

 

[We All Need Solace]

Usually is, but keep the faith and stay strong in the Lord

- Trust me I will stay strong. I won't loose my faith in God.
Because I worship God more than everything.
She is the second one in line after God.

Dude, if this is love then you'll be together for the rest of your lives. So Chill out. I'd wait years for love, and i'm just stunned you'd be impatient about a thing like this.

- Yeah I guess I am an impatient person.
I truly need to ask God for strength and stay strong in my beliefs.
I'm just unsure whetever I will loose her because she's impatient and is crying all the time. I asked her to stop it but she haven't replied yet.

Guy, you need to ask her father if you can date her first. You're sounding like your thinking with your hormones and not your brain. What is the Christian way to approach this? If you go there, then you need to ask her father's permission. Because she belongs to him and not you, and until you get married to said person then you need to act like she belongs to him.

- Actually I waited to ask her dad because she didn't reply to message about being patient over our love.
But I managed to ask her about what her dad though of this like an hour ago. Her dad is comforting her and telling her that she should be happy and that she will find her love but she will need to stay strong.

That sounds slightly over-dramatic to me, and don't give her a reason to be depressed, if you love her then you'll reassure her of your presence in her life. Don't keep asking, "What'll you do without me?" and stuff like that, make her feel valued in your eyes, tell her that you need her, but don't threaten or even mention leaving her

- I'm doing it now.. I'm telling her that she shouldn't be depressed and that it is God's blessing that we found each other. I sent her a message about this but still she haven't replied yet. She's sleeping.

I will give you more info tomorrow!
Now I need to pray.. Goodnight!

 

[Unfit'for'swine]

I will give you more info tomorrow!
Now I need to pray.. Goodnight!

Alright, just comfort her, make her feel loved, and reassure her that you'll be there for her.

 

[We All Need Solace]

I told her something comforting and now she isn't as depressed as she was.
She is praying for me aswell. I'm so happy to have her.

 

[SarahRM]

Keep the faith and stay strong in the Lord. Praying for you!

 

[We All Need Solace]

We have faced a lot of troubles together..
She's great, she's the perfect mother!

She realy fits my personality..
We both think feelings for each other is
more important than being pretty and beautiful.

But still.. I'm sad because I can't have her yet..