What should a serious couple be doing to find out if their relationship will last?

[Owlette]

Is there a list of questions you should ask? Or topics to discuss? Activities to complete?

Do most couples just kind of dive right into marriage, or is it common for couples to seriously examine every aspect of their relationship to make sure it will work?

Is it better to be with someone you are totally compatible with and you love them, or being with someone you are head over heels in love with, but you’re not quite as compatible and you have more differences?

Just some questions I have lately... Might add more later.

 

[OldWiseGuy]

Not a question exactly but each must discuss their expectations; of the other, themselves, and the marriage in general. What is the 'vision' of each going forward.

 

[Humble me Lord]

I had two marriages.
The first, I dove into on the earthly vision of the warm fuzzy love. Ended in total disaster after "sticking it out" as long as I could, for 9 years. This was before I was truly saved.
The second (currently 17 years and counting) the woman God intended for me all along. With Him as the head and always present in our lives, will last until I leave this world.
I believe the most important thing in a marriage is understanding what God intended, that it is a covenant, a promise, a joining together into one.
We dated for 6 months before marriage, but always knew we were meant for each other.

 

[Tolworth John]

Is there a list of questions you should ask? Or topics to discuss? Activities to complete?

Do most couples just kind of dive right into marriage, or is it common for couples to seriously examine every aspect of their relationship to make sure it will work?

Is it better to be with someone you are totally compatible with and you love them, or being with someone you are head over heels in love with, but you’re not quite as compatible and you have more differences?

Just some questions I have lately... Might add more later.

It really depends how serious you are.
Try these:-
Are you ready for marriage? 10 questions to find out how prepared you are

or you could use the search function on wintery knight and find plenty of articles about the responcibilities of men and women in marriage.

 

[Elliewaves]

Discuss important issues in marriage together to see if you are on the same page or can compromise - kids, money, spending, sex, in-laws and reactions to them, goals, faith, church, etc.. There are probably couples books out there that will guide you in those discussions.
After that, if you are serious about getting married, attend pre-marital counseling together.

 

[shrinking_violet]

There's no test to pass so that you get an A+ in Relationshipping. Some people rush things and burn out quickly. Some people over-dissect and grow tired of each other. Just doing the opposite of what doesn't work, also doesn't work.

You have to give up on certainty. You don't know and you'll never know and that's ok. I believe the saying "Let go and let God" has some relevance here.

Focus on what's working now and how you two would like things to work out in the future. It doesn't have to look exactly like anyone else's relationship, and you wouldn't be able to pull it off if you tried. Even your relationship as it is now will look completely different from what you'll have in 50 years. Everything changes.

Marriage is obviously a big decision for two people to come to together. Look at how you've made big decisions in your relationship in the past and pick out what has worked. Try to research up front what marriage actually concretely means and decide together if that's a step you want to take in your relationship. What is marriage legally? What is it in the day-to-day? What would be different in your married life from your courting life? What would stay the same?

These are questions that you should answer together as a couple. No use navel-gazing about changing a relationship without half the equation fully involved. (I learned this trying and failing to change my relationship from hierarchical polyamory to relationship anarchy. You really need to involve your partner in things that involve your partner.) Make sure you two agree on what the plan is.

Maybe you'll find that marriage is what you want. Maybe you'll find something else that works for you better. I'm sure either decision will feel better than an A+ in Relationshipping ever could.

 

[Osina]

Is there a list of questions you should ask? Or topics to discuss? Activities to complete?

Do most couples just kind of dive right into marriage, or is it common for couples to seriously examine every aspect of their relationship to make sure it will work?

Is it better to be with someone you are totally compatible with and you love them, or being with someone you are head over heels in love with, but you’re not quite as compatible and you have more differences?

Just some questions I have lately... Might add more later.

We are all different for me I am in a long distance relationship (he is around 16 hours away from me) and I feel that is one of the largest tests you can put a relationship through. Communication is key in it either through chat, talking on the phone or video chatting.

 

[faroukfarouk]

Is there a list of questions you should ask? Or topics to discuss? Activities to complete?

Do most couples just kind of dive right into marriage, or is it common for couples to seriously examine every aspect of their relationship to make sure it will work?

Is it better to be with someone you are totally compatible with and you love them, or being with someone you are head over heels in love with, but you’re not quite as compatible and you have more differences?

Just some questions I have lately... Might add more later.

Make sure prayer and the Scriptures are at the heart of the friendship, and meeting with God's people. If they are not; or if only one person is interested in these things, then there may be an unequal yoke.

 

[Therese Rose]

I had two marriages.
The first, I dove into on the earthly vision of the warm fuzzy love. Ended in total disaster after "sticking it out" as long as I could, for 9 years. This was before I was truly saved.
The second (currently 17 years and counting) the woman God intended for me all along. With Him as the head and always present in our lives, will last until I leave this world.
I believe the most important thing in a marriage is understanding what God intended, that it is a covenant, a promise, a joining together into one.
We dated for 6 months before marriage, but always knew we were meant for each other.

That's so sweet! Literally tearing up.