What role do friends play?

[steppe22]

I'm going through a bit of a tough time, and I'd like to get some good Christian-oriented advice on this.

I'm a college student, and I recently had to disassociate from my closest friends where I go to school. (That's a long story, but it was the right choice.) God is teaching me so much through this, and I know that my walk with him is getting stronger.

As a result of this, though, I'm very lonely. I have a great family and many friends back home, and I have acquaintances here, but none of them close. I'm aching for some close Christian friends at school. My question is: what role are friends supposed to play in our lives? Should I be able to be completely content with God alone, or does he wire us to need fellowship on a regular basis?

Thank you for any input and thoughts you have on this.

 

[Fed]

You need fellowship. Look into small groups on campus. It's an easy way to make friends and you'll always have someone to turn to when you're feeling down spiritually or otherwise.

 

[willard3]

You need fellowship. Look into small groups on campus. It's an easy way to make friends and you'll always have someone to turn to when you're feeling down spiritually or otherwise.

QFT. Some of the best friends I have ever made I met through a small Christian fellowship group back in freshman year. Try and look into that.

 

[Elle_For_Short]

I did the exact same thing, long story too, but like you said it is the right decision. It feels lonely after because your like what do I do this saturday night? Or when you just want a good friend to talk to. I belive God wants us to have friendships. I to am going through something similar. I have alot of friends and aquaintances, but sometimes you feel sad becuase you feel you made a wrong choice when you feel lonely. BUt trust me, GOd will provide you with more friends then you had before. Praying for you,

 

[steppe22]

Thank you guys for your input. I have been trying to get involved with a small group at church--easier said than done I'm afraid. But I know I need to be open and willing to meet new people.

To a certain extent though, shouldn't our self-worth not rely on reassurance from other people? I'm afraid that having close friends (or the lack thereof) is too closely tied to my self-esteem.

 

[kenposis]

I have had some similar struggles, but wanting close friends is not (inherently) tied to self-worth or self-esteem. The real question I see is this: are you content with who you are in God's eyes, when all others are gone and you are all alone? If you can honestly say yes, I see no ties between your self-worth and your desire for friends. (As far as self-esteem goes, I as a psychology major find that it is a largely secular idea--if fallen humans try to find their entire worth in themselves, they will always be disappointed; if, however, we find our worth and get our "self-esteem" from the Creator of all who loves us more than we can fathom, then we will always find the self-esteem we seek.)

So to answer your question, yes and no. You are correct in that our self-worth does not rely on reassurances from other people--it relies on God, and is shaped by His view of us as His children. But at the same time, God created us for relationship (both with Him and with others), and so it is perfectly natural to desire reassurances from others. Just be careful not to lose sight of your position in God's eyes, and trust Him to bring the right friends to your life.

 

[Balugon]

It could be tied to your self-esteem, but that is an issue that u would have to talk to God about. As for me, i have found that good friends are quite hard to find, college or not. But yea, small groups at your local church, Campus Crusade for Christ/ other christian groups at your college would probably be good places to start looking. If that fails, finding a hobby that u enjoy could help to pass the time as well. I forget about a lot of people when im playing City Of Heroes. heheh.

As for what role they are suppose to play, just that of a comrade. You associate with one another and talk and stuff, bounce ideas off of each other. Its something to mutually benefit each person because the other has pieces that the former doesnt, and so each gives to the other and helps the other grow a little. At least that is how i see it. I dont think anyone could make a person perfectly happy, even a great spouse is still human. But its still a part of humanity and a necessary one, God made certain pieces and gifts only available when we connect ourselves with others.