what other people think

[wolfiswill]

I just recently started dating someone from Michigan who i met online. We met online but all of our conversations have been over the phone. She has an awesome heart for God. Here is my question? Do you ever worry what other people think? I used to do this a lot. How do you weigh what people say?

 

[flounder7786]

I think its good to take peoples words seriously...but at the same time, its good to live your own life also. you have to balance it out, like you said, but there is no perfect place in rest. i would say, listen to what God has to say about it...He's the one you have to listen to, plus, he has the best advice...

 

[chanis]

see I think I'd probably feel the same way you do, like this is weird what are others gonna say...I honestly don't know what I'd do if I was in your position...I don't know if I'd actuallly date someone I'd met online...mmm...that would just be weird to me...but I have a good friend that I met in college that met his wife online and they eventually got married and have been married for 3 yrs and are an awesome couple and he could care less what others said...all this to say that sometimes you just gotta go for it despite what others may think (if of course you're seeking god's will)...

 

[micaela]

Haha, my situation is very similar, and I feel quite embarrassed about it sometimes. I even purposely avoid the "so how did you meet?" conversations by not asking others that question when I'm in a crowd.
I met my SO online by accident (a Christian site automatically created a single's profile for me using details for some accomodation I was seeking!). He had been dating online and emailed me. I initially said no way, thanks anyway, but we got on so well over email, that it progressed to friendship in person for 6mths, and now we're moving into a courting phase I guess.
I sometimes think about IF we reach marriage, how many people have I told, and who's going to bring it up at the wedding! I would blush so badly.

 

[SirKenin]

I just recently started dating someone from Michigan who i met online. We met online but all of our conversations have been over the phone. She has an awesome heart for God. Here is my question? Do you ever worry what other people think? I used to do this a lot. How do you weigh what people say?

Who gives a darn what other people think? If I don't ask them for their opinion I don't want to hear it. They open their lips and all I hear is blah blah blah. hahaha

Ok.. Seriously. No, what other people think should be of no import to you. I take it other people are warning you against this relationship. Just say "Thanks, I appreciate your concern" and leave it at that. Me, I'm just plain blunt, but that doesn't work for everyone. Follow your heart and do what you think is right and let everyone else think what they want.

Everyone always has plenty to say when it's none of their business. They love to poke in everyone else's backyards, but when it comes time for the tables to be turned they don't want to hear it, nothing bad could happen to them, their marriage is perfect, they're not headed to divorce. You know how it goes.

Take unsolicited commentary for what it's worth, which isn't a whole heck of a lot.

 

[gizmo03]

I use to let the things people say and what their thoughts were control my life. I hardly ever wanted to make a decision by myself. But my attitude has changed so much in the past couple months. I still listen to peoples opnions when I ask and even if they give it with me asking. I may not always agree with what they have to say but I try to listen and atleast take their thoughts into consideration instead of jumping with what I think needs to be done.

 

[Grishnak]

I just recently started dating someone from Michigan who i met online. We met online but all of our conversations have been over the phone. She has an awesome heart for God. Here is my question? Do you ever worry what other people think? I used to do this a lot. How do you weigh what people say?

Unlike some, I will say that it depends on who is giving the opinion and why.

Listen to everyones council.
Sometimes youll get a few gems to live by.
But alwasy weed thru the garbage.

If you go thru life worrying about everything someone says youre going to be very miserable.
But if you go thru it pretending like you know it all and no one can ever say anything of any importance to you, then you can plan on making a lot more mistakes than you really need to.

 

[Living4Him03]

Sometimes I wonder what others think of my boyfriend and I. He is thin and I am definitely curvy, lol. Then I realize that I'm not in high school anymore, that I've already learned that looks and what others think really doesn't matter, and I can just enjoy my time with him and focusing on us. Although, it is difficult sometimes, because I wonder if people are looking at us thinking "what is that skinny guy doing with the chubby girl?". We look cute together, though, so I really don't think it matters. You have to be with the person you feel God is leading you to, not the person your family or friends choose for you.

 

[JustLiz87]

I too also met my boyfriend online. We just randomly met on a website. After emailing each other, we started talking through Yahoo! Messenger and other messengers. We found out we had a lot on common and we would often spend hours online talking to each other. At that time, I just enjoyed talking to him online and did not look for the relationship to go any further. Yet, after a couple months, he asked if we could meet and go on a date. I decided it would be a good idea. We've been dating ever since (it has been over a year). At first it was rather embarassing to talk about it. When I first met his parents, they had no idea. It was Easter Sunday and they asked how we met. So, I let him explain. We also had to explain that I was 7 years younger than him. Real fun, let me tell ya. Anyways, contrary to popular belief, I think that in some cases meeting online can be beneficial. A lot of times you get to the heart of a person through online conversation i.e., you learn about their opinions and goals and thoughts. Consequently, we were able to enter a relationship knowing these things ahead of time. We always say at least we didn't meet in a bar or something like that. Not that that's bad, but meeting online isn't any worse. Anyways, people judge other people. You have to deal with it. It's not fun, believe me I know. You just need to be secure with what you are doing and know that it is God's will otherwise you won't be able to handle some of the comments you will receive. Sure, not all comments are bad. We go to church together and when we were asked where we met, we told them online and they pointed out other couples that had met online. Of course, we go to a non-denominational church that is very receptive and relaxed. Just be prepared for different opinions.

 

[trust_faith]

I think it doesn't matter how u meet the guy/SO. just that both of you are walking hands in hands together and your relationship is a God-centered one will do.

 

[wolfiswill]

Thanks for the advice. It's good to know that other people out there are in the same situation as I am.

 

[Dawn Marie]

Honestly, if anyone has something bad to say about your relationship... try to ignore it. It's only because they don't understand what it's like to be in that kind of relationship/situation.

I do understand...

 

[InTheFlame]

Unlike some, I will say that it depends on who is giving the opinion and why.

Listen to everyones council.
Sometimes youll get a few gems to live by.
But alwasy weed thru the garbage.

If you go thru life worrying about everything someone says youre going to be very miserable.
But if you go thru it pretending like you know it all and no one can ever say anything of any importance to you, then you can plan on making a lot more mistakes than you really need to.

HEAR HEAR!!!

I think Grish has a very good point here.

I don't tend to worry about what people think of me. I DO try to listen out for wisdom in the opinions and advice that people offer. Even the most irritating opinionated person can have a bit of truth slip into their comments.

So if you're wanting advice, I'd say that if people give you their opinion, ask them for more information. eg. if they say 'online relationships are doomed!' ask them why they think that is, what they think you could do to make sure yours isn't doomed, etc. Some people just find an opinion and stick to it, no matter how little sense it makes. But some have very concrete reasons for their opinions, and it's a good idea to find out, and work out if those reasons might apply to you. For example, there are solid reasons why online relationships have a high rate of failure. Things like:

• People who're drawn to online relationships are more likely to be lacking in self-esteem
• People who spend a lot of time on the internet are more likely to have problems appropriately connecting emotionally
• It's easier to lie over the internet, and harder to detect

(these are all vast generalisations - I'm not, by any means, accusing all of us of having low self-esteems, emotional issues and lying compulsions!)

 

[invisiblebabe]

I originally met my fiancé online (and yes, we spend plenty of time together in person too). God has made it unbelievably clear to both of us that our choice to be together is in line with His will.

If others object for the sole reason that you met online, tell them to find some flowers to smell, so their noses will stay out of your business.

 

[invisiblebabe]

• People who spend a lot of time on the internet are more likely to have problems appropriately connecting emotionally

• 
  
  .... or are they simply more likely to be introverted, abstract in thought and communication, and more interested in technology and writing?
  
  Just a thought...

 

[InTheFlame]

.... or are they simply more likely to be introverted, abstract in thought and communication, and more interested in technology and writing?

MORE likely. Not very likely, or extremely likely

 

[invisiblebabe]

MORE likely. Not very likely, or extremely likely

Indeed. Different personalities meet people in different ways

If two really outgoing Christians ended up meeting at a club.... I'm sure there would be objections from the more conservative end

 

[SirKenin]

The way I see it, if people need to worry about what busybodies have to say, there is something wrong with them. Wise people do not offer unsolicited advice. They keep it to when it is asked for and you should not take the council of the unwise. If people are coming up to you out of the blue and filling your ear, I'd be tuning them out like you tune out the radio.

 

[Psalm31]

Hey Hey you! I totally know what you are going through. Because at this very moment my boyfriend lives in Kentucky (going to Boyce Bible College-majoring in missions and minoring in youth ministries) and I live in Oregon. We met about a year ago in a random chat room. We've been talking off and on online and on the phone for the past year. Just recently, a month or so, we decided to pursue a relationship. I'm going to see him in person for the first time on May 5th!!! I've seen pictures and he and I both have webcams so that's helps out a lot. We also talk on the phone at least two to three times a day and I love him dearly. We want to get married but haven't made an concrete plans. My step-mother thinks I'm crazy and is waiting for it to fall apart, I know. It's not the norm but it's happening more and more. Whenever someone starts to give me a hard time about it I just say "Who are we to put God in a box?". That usually ends the conversation.

I pray many blessings on your relationship!

God Bless!
Sara

 

[wolfiswill]

I totally agree with you.