My marriage was dead. Dead and gone, beaten and bruised. Poverty. Addiction. Domestic abuse. Homelessness. Infidelity. Giving a baby up for adoption. It had been damaged in so many ways that I could not see any hope of it's resurrection. I probably didn't want it to become healed. I had given up all hope. I was bitter. I was angry. I was hurt deeply. I wasn't going to get hurt again. It was over.
Then I dislocated my shoulder. I needed his help with the kids. I let him stay with us. Temporarily, just so we're clear! I decided to go to church. I at least cared about his soul. He wanted me to promise to try again. He wanted another chance. I didn't have it in me to do that again, so I told him what he wanted to hear just so he'd go to church. The first person to introduce themself to him asked him what he did for a living. He replied that he was unemployed and looking for work. The man asked what he did, and my husband told him. He said he had that type of work that he needed done at his company. He gave my husband a job. I'm not so dense as to not see a sign from God when I experience one. Still, I told myself maybe that sign was for my husband. Maybe he's supposed to be here, but not me. Well, we'll keep going. We both liked it. Then, this marriage conference comes up. I'm not stupid enough to be stubborn with God. I'm sure I've done enough of that in my life. No more. I want to be blessed by Him. I want to glorify Him. I tell my husband if he wants us to go, then fine. I'll go. So we go. I'm still bitter. I'm still hurt. I'm still skeptical. The second night of the conference my husband and I talk through some serious issues. We both ask the other for forgiveness for the hurt we have caused the other. I realized that I couldn't deny all the "marriage" emphasis I have been hearing lately. At church and on the radio, every day it was "marriage, marriage, marriage". Fine, I'll let go of this bitterness. I'll hope again, even though I'm scared. If this really does work out, then we will have one awesome testimony to share. Glorify my Lord and Saviour! What else is there? I praised Him when He gave me this little, crappy trailer. How much more praise can I give Him for restoring my marriage?!?!?
Praise God. I love Jesus. Use me Lord. Use the pain that I have gone through to bring GLORY to YOUR NAME!
Then I dislocated my shoulder. I needed his help with the kids. I let him stay with us. Temporarily, just so we're clear! I decided to go to church. I at least cared about his soul. He wanted me to promise to try again. He wanted another chance. I didn't have it in me to do that again, so I told him what he wanted to hear just so he'd go to church. The first person to introduce themself to him asked him what he did for a living. He replied that he was unemployed and looking for work. The man asked what he did, and my husband told him. He said he had that type of work that he needed done at his company. He gave my husband a job. I'm not so dense as to not see a sign from God when I experience one. Still, I told myself maybe that sign was for my husband. Maybe he's supposed to be here, but not me. Well, we'll keep going. We both liked it. Then, this marriage conference comes up. I'm not stupid enough to be stubborn with God. I'm sure I've done enough of that in my life. No more. I want to be blessed by Him. I want to glorify Him. I tell my husband if he wants us to go, then fine. I'll go. So we go. I'm still bitter. I'm still hurt. I'm still skeptical. The second night of the conference my husband and I talk through some serious issues. We both ask the other for forgiveness for the hurt we have caused the other. I realized that I couldn't deny all the "marriage" emphasis I have been hearing lately. At church and on the radio, every day it was "marriage, marriage, marriage". Fine, I'll let go of this bitterness. I'll hope again, even though I'm scared. If this really does work out, then we will have one awesome testimony to share. Glorify my Lord and Saviour! What else is there? I praised Him when He gave me this little, crappy trailer. How much more praise can I give Him for restoring my marriage?!?!?
Praise God. I love Jesus. Use me Lord. Use the pain that I have gone through to bring GLORY to YOUR NAME!
