I am going through a divorce. My wife filed a couple months ago. I am at a loss, I feel as though I went through the twilight zone. My in-laws treated me like I was trash from the get go. But reflecting back on it they could be pretty evil to each other (my father in-law tried to have his wife committed when she is not even close to being crazy). There the types of in-laws that like to brag about all the fights they got into at wedding receptions etc... I listened to every excuse about the in-laws bizarre behavoir from my wife and one day just made up my mind that they weren't going to just treat me like dirt anymore. So I spoke up to them when they were telling me I needed to be more like my Father in-law and to no surprise I got ganged up on verbally and in the end my wife was on their side. That hurt so much I wanted to die! All I said back to them, when I was told I needed to be more like my father in-law was "no thanks". Our marriage went south so fast it wasn't funny. Why! Because in the eyes of my wife her family can do no wrong. My wife and I met in a bible study. I truly once believed that God and our marriage was the most important things to my wife but I found out that her family is. If she had an affair all people would understand my anger and frustration, and I mean no disrespect to people who have had a spouse be unfaithful to you, this family is like their just too close to each other and you feel jealous because they let you know you're an outsider. I don't feel like doing anything, it's like I'm in shock. I just could not sit back and watch another person be disrespectful to my wife and not feel for her, even if it was my own flesh and blood. What do you do next!
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- Thread starter MIboy
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Divorce is a wood framed rollercoaster ride gone seriously bad - no brakes, nothing to slow it down, seatbelts that don't work and increasing speed... and up ahead is a non-banked hair-pin corner.
I don't have any advice for you at all, sadly. I've been where you are, and I can honestly say it doesn't get any easier. With one exception - those times that you are able to commune with God on a very deep, personal and real level. It's those times that get you through.
I know it sounds horribly cliche, but you need to focus on God 100% and not worry about your wife right now. I can't tell from your post how you feel about your marriage - if you want to save it or if you are simply at a loss. But I will ask this: Are you seeing your wife through your frustratioin with your inlaws? Or are you seeing your wife through the eyes that you did when you fell in love and committed your life to her. If you let the situation with your in-laws color your view/your love for your wife, you will find your marriage is doomed for sure - as satan will use that to his advantage at all times.
I know that doesn't make it easier, especially if there is a leave-n-cleave issue, but it's still important to see your wife as Christ does.
God Bless,
bkg
I don't have any advice for you at all, sadly. I've been where you are, and I can honestly say it doesn't get any easier. With one exception - those times that you are able to commune with God on a very deep, personal and real level. It's those times that get you through.
I know it sounds horribly cliche, but you need to focus on God 100% and not worry about your wife right now. I can't tell from your post how you feel about your marriage - if you want to save it or if you are simply at a loss. But I will ask this: Are you seeing your wife through your frustratioin with your inlaws? Or are you seeing your wife through the eyes that you did when you fell in love and committed your life to her. If you let the situation with your in-laws color your view/your love for your wife, you will find your marriage is doomed for sure - as satan will use that to his advantage at all times.
I know that doesn't make it easier, especially if there is a leave-n-cleave issue, but it's still important to see your wife as Christ does.
God Bless,
bkg
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Do you know if your wife posted on this site in the past? Is her family from Ohio? Are some of her siblings doctors?
I know - I may sound crazy, but your situation sounds a lot like that of a woman who posted here for awhile...
I know - I may sound crazy, but your situation sounds a lot like that of a woman who posted here for awhile...
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I'm at a loss! How can one accept the obvious, that I'm second fiddle to my in-laws. By filing for divorce I don't think there could be a more obvious red flag as to who comes first in her life. Believe me when I tell you it is very hurtful to know that the person you are married to would dump you in a New York minute if you try to set some limits or boundaries on the people who are blatantly rude and disrespectful to you. I just want people to know how hurtful it is to be in a marriage like this.bkg said:
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I totally understand what you are saying. It hurts like hell to know that your spouse would leave for ANY reason. Been there, done that, have the t-shirt.MIboy said:
But you know what? It has only strengthened my love for her. I know that doesn't make a lot of sense, but if you are able, try to separate her from the decision/situation for a moment. It's amazing how much you will find you can still love a person when you can separate the actions from the person - which frankly, is something I've learned way too late.
Not sure if I have anything I can say that will make it any better. Just keep praying...
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MIboy said:
Anywhere IHMFIL started. You can search that userid for posts started by her. Or just look in the divorced section and look under the thread title for who started it.
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MIboy said:
these were among those that were locked
http://www.christianforum.com/showthread.php?p=8408432#post8408432 http://www.christianforum.com/t704241
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Are you saying you are her husband... er... she is your wife? Sorry - I shouldn't even ask, but my spidey sense is going crazy!MIboy said:
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