What makes Friends
I know that this is not the best section to post this in but it was being ignored in my last posting so here it is..
What are the factors that make you decide if you want a particular person as a friend or not?( one first impression , before you even really get to know them) Just as an example I know one time I overheard someone say .. I'm don't even want to know that person, they don't fit my tastes. What? But the question remains what is the deciding factors that make you say ... yes I want that person as a friend or no way ...based on first impression. I will also say I have had some very unusual experience with people in regards to this.. there are some interesting thought processes that happen.
I'll give you a most insightful response to your question.
Now when you say 'friend', I think of a 'friend' as a close friend.
because let's .. slice the cake, if someone is worth being a friend, then they are worth being a close friend. I had the epiphany about a year ago when i realised most of my so called friends in high school were just acquaintances.. they were just filling the space.
So with that in mind, i will disclaim this response as it being limited to someone who could be a 'close friend' or someone who you will be investing alot of time and effort into.
some of the things that would put me off in first instances, of meeting someone are the following:
1) do they have an attitude problem? <-- if yes, then i don't want to associate myself with them too closely.
2) are they a bully? do they like to put others down? <--- this is often a result of low self esteem, and whilst you should try and be nice to them to try and help them, i believe that you can't really help them in the sense of helping them in dealing with that psychological issue unless you're a trained therapist/psychologist.
3) are they punctual? <-- they don't have to be early all the time, but if say, you make plans and the person never shows up, or doesn't bother to call and explain the extenuating circumstances, then that person is probably not worth it.
4) is sarcasm their predominate use of humour? <-- again linked to low-self point no.2.
5) do they swear often? <-- whilst we can't expect people not to swear entirely, if the person in question swears in every second sentence, then you can assume many things.
6) what do they talk about? <-- do they talk about themselves alot? (could be a narcissist.. but not necessarily).
do they like to talk about how wasted/stoned/[wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth]ed they got on their weekend? is their interests limited to things that don't interest me? (ie. hollywood blah blah).
if i talk about economics, politics, philosophy, psychology or theology, how will that person respond?
will that person go 'booorring', or will that person give me an insightful answer? that doesn't necessarily mean them counter-arguing sigmund freud's theories with that of carl jung, but it could mean something like saying 'psychology is not always in black and white ', which is profoundly true.
other things i would add (i am quite picky in relation to my close friendship circles, and these may not apply to you)
- what sort of music do they listen to?
you can assume many things like personalities from the genre of the music they listen to.
- how are they presented? are they neatly presented? personal hygiene.. type of clothing.. mind you, you don't have to wear designer clothing, and in fact if someone i met was wearing solely designer clothing, then that would put me off, as that would be that particular persons 'identity'.
'oh look at me, i feel good about myself by wearing expensive brand names'
i have more respect for people who wear plain, good quality clothes, or clothes with subtle branding.
