What kind of advice would you give to this gal

[Spirit_Star]

There was poster on another forum she is only 27 been married 9 years she and her spouse have been trying for a child all that time. This gal has lost three babies one lived 2months (would be 6 years old now) and the other two lived less than 1 week. Her last child passed 2months ago. This lady has a medical condition that prevents her from carrying a child to term. She and her husband are part of the Quiverful movement and he wants to start trying again soon. This poor girl does not want to attempt to get pregnant again it’s just too devastating for her. Yet she does not know how to tell her husband this she feels she has failed her duty to provide him with a child.


This gal could also use prayers she’s trying to deal with the fact that she just might not be meant to be a parent which can be a harsh blow.

 

[Just4Jesus]

There was poster on another forum she is only 27 been married 9 years she and her spouse have been trying for a child all that time. This gal has lost three babies one lived 2months (would be 6 years old now) and the other two lived less than 1 week. Her last child passed 2months ago. This lady has a medical condition that prevents her from carrying a child to term. She and her husband are part of the Quiverful movement and he wants to start trying again soon. This poor girl does not want to attempt to get pregnant again it’s just too devastating for her. Yet she does not know how to tell her husband this she feels she has failed her duty to provide him with a child.


This gal could also use prayers she’s trying to deal with the fact that she just might not be meant to be a parent which can be a harsh blow.

oh I felt my stomach hit the floor as I read this. This is just awful, I just don't know what to say to help this poor girl. What kind of medical condition? God can and will heal this woman in Jesus Name!!! Lets pray for her right now!

 

[Sabertooth]

Have they considered a surrogate carrier?

 

[Spirit_Star]

She didnt say what her condition was but all the kids were born very premature she used the term "micro-preemies" I can mention the possibility of surrogacy to her. I was under the impression that for Quiverful families allow God to decided how big or little their family will be and don’t typical go towards outside ways to have a family with the aid of fertility treatments, surrogacy etc.

 

[Sabertooth]

We can compensate for health issues in our own bodies just like wearing glasses, but that doesn't guarantee conception. It just compensates for known health issues. Having done so doesn't guarantee conception, it just increases a couple's ability to get pregnant. Their ability to get pregnant is the same as anybody else's at that point. If God withholds the funds, He may not even want them to resort to that procedure, if He isn't going to bless it.

Produres like In Vitro Fertilization are only unethical because they require you to abort the less viable embryos for the sake of the more hardy ones.

Not everyone agrees with this take and that's okay. And medical intervention doesn't appear to be demanded of us, nor is it prohibited, as long as it's otherwise ethical.

 

[JesusFreak2008]

Just thought I'd add that a micropreemie is born before 23 weeks gestational age and their chance of survival is RARE.

Here is a story of a young lady with micro preemie twins.

Micro Preemie Twins: The Story of Holland & Eden

 

[k450ofu3k-gh-5ipe]

Have they thought about adoption?

 

[Fullheart]

If she was my friend I would say to her to be honest with her husband & to give her time, if he truly loves her he will allow her to take time. They are both greiving & in their own way. What a horrible thing to go through, I believe some time of counselling is needed, alone & as a couple. Even if it's they attend a support group so others can share their stories as I'm sure they are not alone. God may have another path for them.

I would also mention to her that there are MANY foster children in the world needing a forever home, maybe that is their path?

Give her a listening ear & pray for them often. = )

 

[jgonz]

I agree with Fullheart~ she needs to be honest with her DH about how she's feeling.

She has not "failed" to give her DH a child~ that's ridiculous. She has a health issue, so IMO, that should be followed up on. It's possible it's something fixable...

I know a woman who had Multiple miscarriages (like 15!) and kept on going to doctors until she finally found one (a DO instead of a MD). The new doctor tested her Entire system~ not just her female parts, and found out she had 5 major issues that were causing the miscarriages. She was low progesterone, would get GD immediately after conceiving, and 3 other things I can't remember right now. They worked on these issues and the next time she got pregnant, she carried full term. She had 2 other healthy full term babies after that~ then God closed her womb and she had no more pregnancies at all. (She's older now and gone through menopause.)

Since you didn't say what your friend's health issue is, I can't comment on whether it truly is fixable or not, but it's defiantely something to pursue (IMO).

 

[Sabertooth]

I think I was looking at the OP from the wrong angle. Sorry.

 

[my5blessings]

HI...I am new around here...just signed up the other day, so I am trying to jump in here as best I can.
This part just really stood out to me...

This gal could also use prayers she’s trying to deal with the fact that she just might not be meant to be a parent which can be a harsh blow.

I totally disagree....they might not be meant to have natural born children, but being a parent doesn't have to be to kids to come from your own body. Maybe God just needs them to change to another path.

I will definitely add them to my prayer list though...that has to be a very hard road to walk down.