what is this?

[dariya]

I am not washing hands a million times per day or something like that.
Just last year I meet a gay and our meeting (about job,) was about 10 min maybe less... from then can stop thinking about him. Never talk with him, never met him ever since then, ...but he is everywhere ...I mean in my mind...
I am 37 years old, divorced ( husband left me 3 years ago because my Christian fate, no kids, very soon after that I was abounded from the Church...told me to don't come again because I am guilty of my divorce ( not true), after that father died...I was rejected from relatives and from family because divorce...Since this 3 years I survive cruelty of every shape and form...
Living with the mother and brother... they don't believe in God. Just found out that mother is regularly client to some people that are doing witchcraft ( purpose of that is to "help me" to find a gay again?? I told her that is the sin and I ask her to stop but nothing. And almost every second day she is at cemetery on the grave of my father...that is situation in the home.
What is happening with me? Since this year I have difficulties with reading
(can't concentrate), the image of the man non stop in my head ( I did pray about this a LOT, nothing), this year also became some sexual thoughts that I am fighting, and most scary part suicidal thoughts are very strong..I lost the peace and came fear....not able to do anything...
The will of God to be reproductive, to build life what I am doing?
Cant any more
PLEASE HELP, I think this is OCD

 

[gracealone]

When you say that this gay individual is in your mind is there a fear associated with that? Usually in OCD this type of theme carries with it the idea or fear that in thinking about the individual this might mean that you might be gay. Is that it?
No church should cast a person out because of a divorce. And in your case, abandonment, God does not hold you responsible for your divorce. It's not as if you can force a person to stay with you. So sorry for the cruelty of this particular church.
Anyhow.. I'm not really able to diagnose you but I would suggest that if you have a really instense fear that having these thoughts means you might be gay then it is very likely that you have a form of OCD called Pure O or purely obsessional OCD. In order to learn more about this you could go to www.ocdonline.com and read Dr. Phillipson's articles on Pure O.
Sorry to hear about all your mistreatment. That's so sad.
I'll be praying for you.
Mitzi

I am not washing hands a million times per day or something like that.
Just last year I meet a gay and our meeting (about job,) was about 10 min maybe less... from then can stop thinking about him. Never talk with him, never met him ever since then, ...but he is everywhere ...I mean in my mind...
I am 37 years old, divorced ( husband left me 3 years ago because my Christian fate, no kids, very soon after that I was abounded from the Church...told me to don't come again because I am guilty of my divorce ( not true), after that father died...I was rejected from relatives and from family because divorce...Since this 3 years I survive cruelty of every shape and form...
Living with the mother and brother... they don't believe in God. Just found out that mother is regularly client to some people that are doing witchcraft ( purpose of that is to "help me" to find a gay again?? I told her that is the sin and I ask her to stop but nothing. And almost every second day she is at cemetery on the grave of my father...that is situation in the home.
What is happening with me? Since this year I have difficulties with reading
(can't concentrate), the image of the man non stop in my head ( I did pray about this a LOT, nothing), this year also became some sexual thoughts that I am fighting, and most scary part suicidal thoughts are very strong..I lost the peace and came fear....not able to do anything...
The will of God to be reproductive, to build life what I am doing?
Cant any more
PLEASE HELP, I think this is OCD

 

[dariya]

Mitzi

Sorry I got the wrong word English is not my native language.please sorry

I was meaning of a MAN we had business meting last year in October...and still in my mind. And I met him only once!!! I am really worried about this,is not normal!?
I am single divorce women and everything somehow started from this year...man, sexual thoughts, my mind is chaotic, can concentrate, and suicidal thoughts.. With simple words like my mind has a big blockade and is worse and worse... I don't know ? And yes I am full with fears , fear of rejection, fear to be happy, etc...
It so hard to explain....

 

[gracealone]

So you meant to say "guy" or man.
It's hard for me to completely understand what you mean but let me try. Are the thoughts of him intrusive? I mean do they push into your mind even though you really don't want to think them? And when you try to push them out of your head do they seem to bother you even more?
Next question; When you have these thoughts about him in your head does that cause guilt or fear filled thoughts of maybe God being angry at you?
With OCD people get a troubling or disturbing thought stuck in their mind. These thoughts are generally unwanted and can be of a sexual nature. They will usually go against the person's true desires or intentions. Then the harder they try to resist the thoughts or fight against them the harder it becomes to get the thoughts out of the mind. This then becomes a thing that makes a person feel very anxious and fearful. The more fear they feel the harder they fight against the thoughts.
If this sounds like what you are experiencing then you should try to find a doctor who can diagnose you with OCD. There is medication to help withe the fearful feelings and therapy to help you learn to allow the thoughts to be there without fighting against them. The key to treating most OCD is to learn to ignore the obsessive thoughts instead of fighting against them.
Hope that helps bring some understanding to your situation.
I'll pray for you.
Mitzi

Mitzi

Sorry I got the wrong word English is not my native language.please sorry

I was meaning of a MAN we had business meting last year in October...and still in my mind. And I met him only once!!! I am really worried about this,is not normal!?
I am single divorce women and everything somehow started from this year...man, sexual thoughts, my mind is chaotic, can concentrate, and suicidal thoughts.. With simple words like my mind has a big blockade and is worse and worse... I don't know ? And yes I am full with fears , fear of rejection, fear to be happy, etc...
It so hard to explain....

 

[mmutsakama]

i am an ocd sufferer and at some point i had a real battle with suicidal thoughts

 

[kaykay9.0]

I don't know if this is OCD or not but you have had a lot of hurtful situations going on there and I am praying for you.

 

[dariya]

So you meant to say "guy" or man.
It's hard for me to completely understand what you mean but let me try. Are the thoughts of him intrusive? I mean do they push into your mind even though you really don't want to think them? And when you try to push them out of your head do they seem to bother you even more?
Next question; When you have these thoughts about him in your head does that cause guilt or fear filled thoughts of maybe God being angry at you?
With OCD people get a troubling or disturbing thought stuck in their mind. These thoughts are generally unwanted and can be of a sexual nature. They will usually go against the person's true desires or intentions. Then the harder they try to resist the thoughts or fight against them the harder it becomes to get the thoughts out of the mind. This then becomes a thing that makes a person feel very anxious and fearful. The more fear they feel the harder they fight against the thoughts.
If this sounds like what you are experiencing then you should try to find a doctor who can diagnose you with OCD. There is medication to help withe the fearful feelings and therapy to help you learn to allow the thoughts to be there without fighting against them. The key to treating most OCD is to learn to ignore the obsessive thoughts instead of fighting against them.
Hope that helps bring some understanding to your situation.
I'll pray for you.
Mitzi

I was thinking about your questions..
First after the meeting (last year) I was thinking that is normal because I am single for many years, and with all that problems that I had, seeing an attractive man and thinking about him is normal. But after 2-3 months ( we had just one meeting and never contact after that ) start to worry. I prayed A LOT...Just can't push the picture of him out of my head... then sexual thoughts started, then suicidal. Do I have fear? Yes...blame , shame etc..that kind of emotions are coming. when I am thinking about man I feel shame, fear, not worthy etc.

But meanwhile something else happen at home. Reading the Bible this weekend something told me to check under the bed. What I found was a scary figurine of lead... uf. that is my mother doing witchcraft (again) and I don't know for how long time was there . This time I got scared.
And I don't know is this OCD or witchcraft or bout, but I know one thing, I was try hell and back this 3 years.
I need help, advice, anything....Just I am loosing my self, fate...
God bless

 

[mmutsakama]

do not fear those witchcraft stuff. Surrender everything to God and trust Him

 

[gracealone]

Hi Dariya,
Are you able to get to a doctor to tell them about the thoughts and the intense anxiety and distress they create? That's the best thing you can do right now. You will likely need to go on some form of medication to help alleviate some of the fear/anxiety.
I wouldn't be concerned about your mother's witchcraft affecting you. I think your anxiety is so high right now that it's causing you to be very concerned about all sorts of things right now. OCD is like having a broken fire alarm going off in your head. There is always this feeling of dread and anxiety and therefore it targets certain thoughts/ideas and blows them up in to big distressing themes.
I think it's very important at this point for you to seek the help of a physician.
I'll be praying for you.
Mitzi

I was thinking about your questions..
First after the meeting (last year) I was thinking that is normal because I am single for many years, and with all that problems that I had, seeing an attractive man and thinking about him is normal. But after 2-3 months ( we had just one meeting and never contact after that ) start to worry. I prayed A LOT...Just can't push the picture of him out of my head... then sexual thoughts started, then suicidal. Do I have fear? Yes...blame , shame etc..that kind of emotions are coming. when I am thinking about man I feel shame, fear, not worthy etc.

But meanwhile something else happen at home. Reading the Bible this weekend something told me to check under the bed. What I found was a scary figurine of lead... uf. that is my mother doing witchcraft (again) and I don't know for how long time was there . This time I got scared.
And I don't know is this OCD or witchcraft or bout, but I know one thing, I was try hell and back this 3 years.
I need help, advice, anything....Just I am loosing my self, fate...
God bless

 

[dariya]

Thank you,

Please don't forget me in the prayers ... l
I will write again..


God bless,

 

[KimberlyAA]

If you want to get him off your mind maybe you should try occupying your time with other things as much as possible. Watch TV, read a good book or go out. Pray without ceasing, even if it doesn't seem to be working right now. My prayers are with you.

 

[gracealone]

I won't Dariya... I'll ask God to lay you on my heart throughout the days to come. Please stay in touch. This too shall pass!
Mitzi

Thank you,

Please don't forget me in the prayers ... l
I will write again..


God bless,

 

[dariya]

I won't Dariya... I'll ask God to lay you on my heart throughout the days to come. Please stay in touch. This too shall pass!
Mitzi

If you want to get him off your mind maybe you should try occupying your time with other things as much as possible. Watch TV, read a good book or go out. Pray without ceasing, even if it doesn't seem to be working right now. My prayers are with you.

THANK YOU I really need a prayers and supportive friends...

Tonight I was talking with my mother. Lord give me a peace and I open my hearth to her to explain how I was feeling about witchcraft.. I start to cry. Just it's so many things... Hope that one day she will understand and she will surrender her life to the Christ.

And about me... today after many difficult days , woke up with the peace and hope...started to plant flowers again.
I will write, God bless

p.s. How is my English now?