What is currently on your mind?

Paidiske · Jul 3, 2021

I just watched Hannah Gadsby's Nanette, and am trying to sort through my thoughts after such an incredibly intelligent and compelling performance.

MehGuy · Jul 5, 2021

My depression is especially bad today.

I am certainly a foolish idiot for staying alive for so long.

Paidiske · Jul 5, 2021

That might be what the depression says, but it's not the truth of who you are, MehGuy.

You won't be feeling like this forever. In the meantime, do you have someone irl to whom you can reach out?

MehGuy · Jul 5, 2021

Paidiske said:
That might be what the depression says, but it's not the truth of who you are, MehGuy.

You won't be feeling like this forever. In the meantime, do you have someone irl to whom you can reach out?

I've been feeling this way for over 10 years now.

I do not have anyone to reach out, my mind isn't capable of that anyways. I've always felt a thousand miles away from everyone. I do not think I've ever felt a real connection with a human being ever.

Paidiske · Jul 5, 2021

Then do feel you can at least keep talking to us here. We care enough that this thread of connection - however slender - matters.

MehGuy · Jul 5, 2021

Paidiske said:
Then do feel you can at least keep talking to us here. We care enough that this thread of connection - however slender - matters.

I probably shouldn't have brought my depression up. Talking like a teenager. Just once in a while I become sober minded and wonder why I am even alive right now. But in the meantime I still have stuff to try to improve my life before I ever consider ending it.

There might be some connection, but I think it's more of an instinctual reaction. I've talked to other people in the past who tried to console me, but I've never felt any better because of it. So I probably shouldn't talk about this anymore. Just that my mind urges me too but in reality it's not rational and just a waste of time and just make me look more like a freak.

Paidiske · Jul 5, 2021

I don't think there are "shoulds" about it. If it helps, post. Some of us have been there and will understand (me included). It's not a matter of consolation - I don't expect to make you feel better! - but just knowing that we're willing to hear where you're at. And I don't think it makes you look like a freak, and it's much less a waste of my time than many of the arguments I have here on CF.

timothyu · Jul 5, 2021

In my mind it makes you look open and real, a rare quality in the world today.

durangodawood · Jul 5, 2021

MehGuy said:
I've been feeling this way for over 10 years now.

I do not have anyone to reach out, my mind isn't capable of that anyways. I've always felt a thousand miles away from everyone. I do not think I've ever felt a real connection with a human being ever.

You seem to have a pretty canny knowledge about how human minds work tho. Maybe that the result of introspection. I always recommend a good bike ride to anyone feeling stuck. I think the physical motion and seeing the world from a new angle is often therapeutic. Especially if there's good coffee at the halfway point.

MehGuy · Jul 11, 2021

Weird time in my life where I'm looking forward to the weekend to end so I can be at work.

While I do like my job.. I do find this a little weird..

Guess with depression it's best to be occupied with other things and at least be surrounded by more people.

Paidiske · Jul 11, 2021

Usually, yes (to the human contact thing).

It's Monday morning here, I'm taking today in lieu, and just generally not pushing myself too hard. I suppose at some point I ought to go buy groceries...

MehGuy · Jul 11, 2021

Paidiske said:
Usually, yes (to the human contact thing).

It's Monday morning here, I'm taking today in lieu, and just generally not pushing myself too hard. I suppose at some point I ought to go buy groceries...

Nice. Pretty new experience for the most part.. liking my job.

I've liked the work from a few past jobs.. but sadly it usually had some co-workers who spoiled the whole thing. Everyone at my current job seem to be chill and friendly.

Paidiske · Jul 11, 2021

It's like the old joke that the church would be perfect without any people in it.

Philip_B · Jul 11, 2021

The story goes of the Mother who breaks into the room, opens the curtains, and says, 'The bells are ringing, time to get up and go to church'. The response is 'I don't want to go to church'. So Mum says 'give me two good reasons why you don't want to go to Church.' Like a rocket comes the response 'I don't like them and they don't like me.' So Mum says 'Well get and go the Church' which is met with 'You give me two good reasons why I should go to Church', and Mum replies again 'Well! You are 40 years old and you are the Rector of the Parish!'

MehGuy · Jul 13, 2021

Happy they let me take Friday off. Was a little worried that I waited too long to ask. Planning to get my second Covid shot on that day.

MehGuy · Jul 14, 2021

Have had an ongoing headache today.. and generally felt bummed out.

MehGuy · Jul 16, 2021

Happy that I got my second shot. Will be nice to not have to wear this mask in public. I'll get the booster or whatever when it becomes available.. but once I'm fully vaccinated in two weeks.. I'm done with masks. Unless ordered by the Governor or whatever.. I plan to be mask less from now on. We have to get back to normal sometime.. I think taking the vaccine should be enough.

timothyu · Jul 16, 2021

MehGuy said:
I plan to be mask less from now on. We have to get back to normal sometime..

That what the burn the bra gals back in the early 70's said also

angelsaroundme · Jul 16, 2021

A lot of the time I feel like the world has become a subdued episode of The Twilight Zone.

timothyu · Jul 16, 2021

angelsaroundme said:
A lot of the time I feel like the world has become a subdued episode of The Twilight Zone.

As God said it would be when we left the Garden. Makes it easier to reject the ways and politics of man for the will of God once that is assumed. Better to serve others than serving self.

What is currently on your mind?

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