What is a crush?

[.Mikha'el.]

I have encourtered numerous threads regarding crushes in this forum, but I have also noticed something else. Crushes seem to be the one term that everyone seems to be familiar with, but no one can define exactly. What role does physical attractiveness play in deciding who can be considered a crush? What about romantic interest? Does one have to be possible relationship material in order to be a crush?

So, what exactly does it mean to have a crush on someone? I will let some other responses come in before giving my own thoughts.

 

[Mrs. Luther073082]

Temporary insanity.

 

[Deliberatetourist]

I have encourtered numerous threads regarding crushes in this forum, but I have also noticed something else. Crushes seem to be the one term that everyone seems to be familiar with, but no one can define exactly. What role does physical attractiveness play in deciding who can be considered a crush? What about romantic interest? Does one have to be possible relationship material in order to be a crush?

So, what exactly does it mean to have a crush on someone? I will let some other responses come in before giving my own thoughts.

A crush is just basically sexual attraction. In my experience there is never any love at first sight. There is lust at first sight. Love is a deeper emotional committment that develops over time between two people in a committed relationship. Where love begins is anyones guess and up for endless debate but the initial attraction that entails the "crush" (a metaphorical term) is purely sexual. The person for whatever reason is tripping those biological sensors and it's generating some emotional activity. The mind is the most powerful sexual organ. Basically, you begin with lust and end with love. I know that there are lots of people who will say that thats not the order of things but my experience is that if I am not sexually attracted to them initially, I never will be.

 

[~HopeFloats~]

Temporary insanity.

 

[Soldier_For_Christ]

A crush is just basically sexual attraction. In my experience there is never any love at first sight. There is lust at first sight. Love is a deeper emotional committment that develops over time between two people in a committed relationship. Where love begins is anyones guess and up for endless debate but the initial attraction that entails the "crush" (a metaphorical term) is purely sexual. The person for whatever reason is tripping those biological sensors and it's generating some emotional activity. The mind is the most powerful sexual organ. Basically, you begin with lust and end with love. I know that there are lots of people who will say that thats not the order of things but my experience is that if I am not sexually attracted to them initially, I never will be.

This is primarily my belief as well. Though I don't believe that physical attraction is lust until it interferes with your other activites and you just find yourself constantly thinking about that person's body. I will also note that a crush may be another form of idolization if you put your relationship with that person in front of your relationship with God or if your feelings for that person cause you to sin.

 

[Irascible]

A crush is just basically sexual attraction.

A crush is a flurry of irrational emotions to be sure. But it's not nearly so animalistic for healthy people. I've never met anyone with a crush that couldn't make a long list of positive attributes about the object of their affection - not that they just want to "do 'em".

Love is a deeper emotional committment that develops over time between two people in a committed relationship. Where love begins is anyones guess and up for endless debate.

Love is commitment, not an "emotional commitment." You can't commit emotions because even Christ's emotions wavered. Where real love begins is where you decide it begins because love is a decision.

 

[Soldier_For_Christ]

A crush is a flurry of irrational emotions to be sure. But it's not nearly so animalistic for healthy people. I've never met anyone with a crush that couldn't make a long list of positive attributes about the object of their affection - not that they just want to "do 'em".
Love is commitment, not an "emotional commitment." You can't commit emotions because even Christ's emotions wavered. Where real love begins is where you decide it begins because love is a decision.

I think that a crush causes you to want the object of your attraction to seem better than they are (trust me, I know from personal experience that in the end, they are not as good a person as you may portray them when you have a crush on them). However, I do agree that real love is a commitment and that is why arranged marriages always worked back during the middle ages: people understood the nature of love better than they do now.

 

[Irascible]

I think that a crush causes you to want the object of your attraction to seem better than they are.

Absolutely. I never said the list of attributes was accurate. But the idea that it's just basically sexual is just basically wrong IMO. It's one element of many. The old cliche with picking the pedals off the flower is "He loves me, he loves me not." not "He'll stay the night, he'll stay not."

 

[Eric10]

Temporary insanity.

It doesn't always feel temporary.

 

[.Mikha'el.]

Absolutely. I never said the list of attributes was accurate. But the idea that it's just basically sexual is just basically wrong IMO. It's one element of many. The old cliche with picking the pedals off the flower is "He loves me, he loves me not." not "He'll stay the night, he'll stay not."

I agree with you. One can certainly have a crush on a person, and have completely a completely pure attitude towards that person. For me, the defining feature of a crush is the desire to entire into a romantic relationship with that person. Physical attraction can serve as a motivation to enter into such a relationship, but it is not solely about that.

 

[tamtam92]

temporary feeling that your brains can't follow (is that english :$?).

 

[JPPT1974]

Someone who you are attracted to
As well as have the hots for!