What if?

[Paulie079]

So this is something that I've been challenged with in the past. I know this isn't an easy or fun thing to think about, but I think it's something that those of us who are Christians need to grapple with.

The reality is that lasting joy comes from Jesus Christ, but it seems like it comes up so often in this forum that people are so often depressed because they are single and that if they could just get into that relationship or that marriage, they would be happy. This isn't to say that you can't experience joy in being married, but it's not a lasting joy that comes from Christ.

So now for the question: What if it was God's plan for you to remain single for the rest of your life? Would it be unjust or unfair for Him to do that in your mind? Would it shake your faith? Would you be angry with God?

I think the way we answer these questions says a lot about what the foundation of our faith in God is. It's a good thing to examine and re-examine in ourselves over time.

 

[Strider1002]

Yeah, I can deal with being single all my life. I'm not entitled to a spouse. But I have asked God for one, and He told me that I will have what I asked for.

 

[Toro]

I would be disappointed. I would have days of loneliness and wonder why he made me to be a romantic, caring man only to keep me from a wife.... but.... I would keep rollin as I do.

Luckily I have yet to give up and believe she is out there some where, probably wondering where the heck I am....

To my future wife:

Sorry dear, I get lost easy unless I have my GPS as you will learn, and I dont have an address for "future wife"

Besides, enjoy your time away from me, as I will pester the crud out of you for the rest of my life, once I find you.

 

[Miss Spaulding]

I suspect I would go through bouts of loneliness, but I don't believe I would ever be angry with God or lose faith. ...Though, if you think about it, if one is truly called to a life of singleness, I don't believe he/she would even deal with loneliness in a sense of wanting a companion, I would think God would fill that void. <-- I'm not entirely sure on my opinion there, I'm sort of just musing out loud.

But again, as for me, I don't see myself becoming angry about something like that. I'm very content in my singleness as of now and honestly, I could see myself staying single for the rest of my life, or for many years to come at least. I don't really believe I'll be single my whole life, but let's just say it would exactly shock me if it all panned out that way.

Anyway, like I've said before, I truly believe very few people are called to a life of singleness. God says that it's not good for man to live alone, which, if anyone wanted to argue that that could being referring simply to platonic relationships in general, then I would say they're wrong as this statement was said in light of the fact that Adam should have a 'wife'. (Ha! You mean need us. ) ...He also says it's 'good' for a man to find a wife (Ha! You hear that? We're 'good' for you. ), and vice versa I'm sure.

^ I have no idea how that pertains to the subject at hand, lol...but there it is.

 

[Astrid90]

So this is something that I've been challenged with in the past. I know this isn't an easy or fun thing to think about, but I think it's something that those of us who are Christians need to grapple with.

The reality is that lasting joy comes from Jesus Christ, but it seems like it comes up so often in this forum that people are so often depressed because they are single and that if they could just get into that relationship or that marriage, they would be happy. This isn't to say that you can't experience joy in being married, but it's not a lasting joy that comes from Christ.

So now for the question: What if it was God's plan for you to remain single for the rest of your life? Would it be unjust or unfair for Him to do that in your mind? Would it shake your faith? Would you be angry with God?

I think the way we answer these questions says a lot about what the foundation of our faith in God is. It's a good thing to examine and re-examine in ourselves over time.

God gave us free will. If it's our desire to get married, then we must take the steps for that to happen. We are not puppets that he's orchestrating and dooming those who desire marriage to live a single and celibate life.

 

[ImperatorWall]

I don't like the way the question is phrased.

Happiness in this world and joy in Christ are not mutually exclusive.

Would I be happier with a wife and children? Certainly. As I'm sure you are aware I can provide significant exegesis to demonstrate that man finds great purpose and fulfillment in being both a husband and a father; purpose and fulfillment that it is natural to long for.

But it does not stop there. Would I be happier if my siblings and mother were believers? Definitely. Would I be happier if I could solve all the troubles of my family and close friends? Absolutely.

But none of these trials diminish the joy I have in Christ.

2 Corinthians 6:10 As sorrowful, yet alway rejoicing; as poor, yet making many rich; as having nothing, and [yet] possessing all things.

 

[Krisuvial1992]

I would probably be very depressed. I am really looking forward to getting married and having kids. Honestly I am not sure what I would do with my life if that does not happen... I have been single twenty years and that is hard enough for me!

 

[Saucy]

I would absolutely love to get married and have kids and all that...but the older I get, the longer I've been without a girlfriend, etc, the easier it has become. Yeah, I wish I had someone there, but I'm really at that point where I'm becoming more and more satisfied with serving God as my focus.

 

[Paulie079]

God gave us free will. If it's our desire to get married, then we must take the steps for that to happen. We are not puppets that he's orchestrating and dooming those who desire marriage to live a single and celibate life.

Responsible action is incredibly important, but that doesn't mean that God isn't sovereign. I would say that while we are living our life and making decisions for ourselves, God is orchestrating a lot more than you think (see Romans 9). There is ultimately a balance between God's sovereignty and human responsibility, but "free will" really isn't an accurate way of describing it.

We desire a lot of things that aren't good for us. Perhaps there are even some who would like to get married who would be better off single, but they just don't know it. "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

 

[Maka]

If God's plan was for me to remain single for the rest of my life then I would probably be sad at first. It wouldn't shake my faith or make me angry with God at all. It would be a real struggle at times, but the love I recieve from God, my family and friends would be enough.

 

[SnowyMacie]

I did a lot of thinking about this recently and realized it would be a more selfish move for me to remain single.

This may not make much sense, but I did think "what if I don't get married?" Every scenario was just filled with selfishness. I don't do well by myself, even in community. I can't really describe it, but it just this sense that I'm not wired to be celibate. The idea of being single for the rest of my life isn't "bouts of loneliness, or just disappointed", it's something that utterly terrifies me. I would rather have none of my life dreams come true and have a crappy life except for a great family (wife and kids) than have every other dream come true and no one to share my awesome life with except friends.

Frankly, it's really the only the thing I want.

 

[Squeakers]

So now for the question: What if it was God's plan for you to remain single for the rest of your life? Would it be unjust or unfair for Him to do that in your mind? Would it shake your faith? Would you be angry with God?

If it was God's plan for me to remain single my entire life, so be it. Of course it's only natural that my flesh would try and fight that, but if my spirit is strong in Him, I shouldn't be putting up any fuss if He said 'thou shalt not...'.

Would it be unjust or unfair? My flesh would certainly think so...but once again, if my spirit is rooted solely in Him, I should be following His will as best I can.

Would it shake my faith? Perhaps...depends on who's winning (the flesh or the spirit).

I dunno if I would be angry at God...maybe at first, but I would have various ways to be content with it.

 

[Toro]

I can't really describe it, but it just this sense that I'm not wired to be celibate.

Not many are wired to be celibate, thats why God gave us the gift of marriage.

It is a loophole He created, so that our "lusts" could be sated without being sinful. Of course, much like life, marriage shouldn't be all about sex.

 

[SnowyMacie]

We desire a lot of things that aren't good for us. Perhaps there are even some who would like to get married who would be better off single, but they just don't know it. "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

This is what I was thinking about earlier this year. I realized that considering how active my imagination is, something similar to what Ryan Gosling does in "Lars and the Real Girl" (though not quite as far) would occur. I know myself well enough to know that that would happen. I have no doubt that that would be easier than marriage. I could also see myself going to places like strip clubs and such.
I like women too much to not be married.

 

[ImperatorWall]

Not many are wired to be celibate, thats why God gave us the gift of marriage.

It is a loophole He created, so that our "lusts" could be sated without being sinful. Of course, much like life, marriage shouldn't be all about sex.

No.

It's not a loophole, nor was marriage given to "sate" our lusts.

Physical intimacy is designed and intended by God to be two beings of the flesh becoming one within the context of marriage. God did not give men and women the desires of the flesh and then say, "Hrm, that's inconvenient. Here, I'll give them marriage as a way to satiate those desires without sinning."

 

[Toro]

I could also see myself going to places like strip clubs and such.
I like women too much to not be married.

Lol, unless you are VERY smooth with the ladies, save your money, seriously.

When I was your age, I spent a vast majority of my free time in places like that. You really, REALLY don't wanna know what goes on in those places..... more than you think. And IMO a Christian shouldnt be there, but I am NOT your daddy.

 

[Toro]

No.

It's not a loophole, nor was marriage given to "sate" our lusts.

Physical intimacy is designed and intended by God to be two beings of the flesh becoming one within the context of marriage. God did not give men and women the desires of the flesh and then say, "Hrm, that's inconvenient. Here, I'll give them marriage as a way to satiate those desires without sinning."

Tomato Tamoto, the simple fact, I can have sex with my wife without it being, sin, it was in line with the context of what he had said, if you want to over analyze the way I said it, thats your deal.

 

[ImperatorWall]

Tomato Tamoto, the simple fact, I can have sex with my wife without it being, sin, if you want to over analyze the way I said it, thats your deal.

It has nothing to do with over analysis, you made the statement that God gave us marriage because most people are not "wired" to be celibate.

It has nothing to do with semantics, such a statement is incorrect no matter how you look at it.

 

[jess9450]

Responsible action is incredibly important, but that doesn't mean that God isn't sovereign. I would say that while we are living our life and making decisions for ourselves, God is orchestrating a lot more than you think (see Romans 9). There is ultimately a balance between God's sovereignty and human responsibility, but "free will" really isn't an accurate way of describing it.

We desire a lot of things that aren't good for us. Perhaps there are even some who would like to get married who would be better off single, but they just don't know it. "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

I don't know that I would completely agree with that.

 

[SnowyMacie]

Not many are wired to be celibate, thats why God gave us the gift of marriage.

It is a loophole He created, so that our "lusts" could be sated without being sinful. Of course, much like life, marriage shouldn't be all about sex.

I don't think you got my point, It's something that I could definitely get (and already have gotten frustrated at times) very angry with God about. I'm not condition of my faith or anything, I am saying is that my desire for parternship through marriage is strong enough that I'd rather live in sin and selfishness (which I have no doubt in myself that that would happen).

I don't want to to get married so I can have sex (I realize this contradicts what I said about). The point of the above is there will be time whenever I come to the realization I would say screw it and fall of the wagon. I want to get married because I that companionship my sister and bro-law have, my friends have with their fiancées, my grandparents and parents have, etc. The way I see it, marriage isn't a loophole, it's the way mankind to designed (with exceptions) to live.

Every time I call my grandparents lately (which is weekly) they tell me how their praying for me to find a wife, my sister has indirectly told me to hurry up. I've haven't told many people this, I thought I met soul mate in high school (long story, everyone thought we were a great match) and after I screwed it up I knew for a fact I'd be single for the rest of my life. In this midst of all the loneliness and negative self talk, this tiny little voice said "No, who I have in mind for you is better. You think Natalie's perfect for you, she doesn't compare to who I picked out for you. Just wait." In a very long explanation that I feel that God promised me one on that and continues to remind me after every breakup since.