What IF

[trippe]

Im afraid that Im not saved. Im afraid that the only reason that i pray or go to church or read is because of OCD. Before i went to an alter to ask Jesus into my life i prayed and i talked about God because i was around people that were believers and i have always wanted to fit in and be liked. I would always do just about anything to fit in or be liked or accepted. What if I have never been saved and all of this is OCD. Last night i got mad at my wife again and she was holding the baby and i lost it and knocked a cup of water off a kitchen table and a chair over. It wasnt her fault i get so aggrivated and anxious and mad that sometimes i do stuff like that. Im mad and upset with myself because i dont want to be this kind of husband or father. My daughter is only a few weeks old not even a month and i dont ever want to do that again. Im so terrafied. I didnt want to still be like this when the baby was born and i prayed that but i still am. I really feel like im losing my mind and im not sure i can keep this up. I really need all the prayer i can get. Im afraid i will never know that I am saved or get saved if im not. Knowing what i know now if im not saved i dont believe i ever will be. I just dont know what to do anymore. I dont like my temper. i dont like me.

 

[RobertZ]

Im afraid that Im not saved. Im afraid that the only reason that i pray or go to church or read is because of OCD. Before i went to an alter to ask Jesus into my life i prayed and i talked about God because i was around people that were believers and i have always wanted to fit in and be liked. I would always do just about anything to fit in or be liked or accepted. What if I have never been saved and all of this is OCD. Last night i got mad at my wife again and she was holding the baby and i lost it and knocked a cup of water off a kitchen table and a chair over. It wasnt her fault i get so aggrivated and anxious and mad that sometimes i do stuff like that. Im mad and upset with myself because i dont want to be this kind of husband or father. My daughter is only a few weeks old not even a month and i dont ever want to do that again. Im so terrafied. I didnt want to still be like this when the baby was born and i prayed that but i still am. I really feel like im losing my mind and im not sure i can keep this up. I really need all the prayer i can get. Im afraid i will never know that I am saved or get saved if im not. Knowing what i know now if im not saved i dont believe i ever will be. I just dont know what to do anymore. I dont like my temper. i dont like me.

Trippe, my heart goes out to you. You and I sound like we have pretty similar cases, my temper used to be out of control but by the grace of God its no longer an issue for me.

I to am a husband and a father, my daughter is just a little over 2yrs old now and all I want to do is be the best spiritual leader that I can possibly be for both my wife and daughter. I remember the first time about a year ago when my daughter saw me drinking a beer from a can, even though she was very young and did not know what I was drinking she still gave me this look of dissapointment! It nearly gave me chills and it seemed as though God was speaking to me through my daughter.

I stopped drinking for a while but of course I slipped back into it again and the guilt started to become overwhelming. It was not long after that time that I told my father in law (who is a decon at our church) that I had never been saved before, we prayed and I asked Jesus to come into my heart. This happened last November.

Since that time I have had my ups and downs with the assurance of my salvation, its been a long hard walk for me. The more scripture I read it seems like the more guilt that I feel and I also notice sin in the world like never before and this depresses me as well. I started to think that these things meant that I was not saved but then a few pastors explained to me that the very fact that I felt guilt over my past life and the very fact that I was sensitive to sin like never before only proves that I am saved!

I am trying my best to hold onto those facts and overcome these negative feelings of doubt. I believe that if I was not truly saved the devil would not even waste his time on harrassing me and exploiting my OCD.


Tripp I will pray for you and because you are a father and husband my heart really does go out to you, just hang in there brother and cling to the word of God. An unbeliever would never ever be concerned about such things in his life.

 

[annrobert]

Im afraid that Im not saved. Im afraid that the only reason that i pray or go to church or read is because of OCD. Before i went to an alter to ask Jesus into my life i prayed and i talked about God because i was around people that were believers and i have always wanted to fit in and be liked. I would always do just about anything to fit in or be liked or accepted. What if I have never been saved and all of this is OCD. Last night i got mad at my wife again and she was holding the baby and i lost it and knocked a cup of water off a kitchen table and a chair over. It wasnt her fault i get so aggrivated and anxious and mad that sometimes i do stuff like that. Im mad and upset with myself because i dont want to be this kind of husband or father. My daughter is only a few weeks old not even a month and i dont ever want to do that again. Im so terrafied. I didnt want to still be like this when the baby was born and i prayed that but i still am. I really feel like im losing my mind and im not sure i can keep this up. I really need all the prayer i can get. Im afraid i will never know that I am saved or get saved if im not. Knowing what i know now if im not saved i dont believe i ever will be. I just dont know what to do anymore. I dont like my temper. i dont like me.

All who call upon the Lord shall be saved.

Jesus says he that believeth on Me has everlasting life.

I thought I was losing my mind also Trippe.
In fact it was in many ways mostly gone.
Ocd can do that to us.
I feel so bad for you.
Yet I am sure Jesus will come through for you.
If you are unsure about the past.
Jesus does make all things new.
If we call on Him today He will not cast us out.
We can do nothing of ourselves.
Just come to Jesus as we are and Jesus will bring us through.
Jesus will give us peace and rest.
Jesus will restore our souls.
Jesus will heal our broken hearts.
Jesus will deliver the captives.
Jesus will set at liberty those who are bruised.
Jesus will never leave us or forsake us.
Jesus is our hope and strength and our sure foundation.
Jesus never fails.
Jesus will never cast us out.
I went through some horrible times for so long.....
Yet Jesus took me out of it.
I could not fix myself or do anything at all to help myself.
I called but there was none to help.....
Except the most powerful Mighty God.
Jesus my Saviour and Redeemer.
The Wonderful Counsellor.
My Refuge and Fortress.
All I will ever need
He heard the cries of my heart .
He took me out of the miry clay and set my feet upon a rock.
And He will help you too.
He is keeping ypu safe and protecting you Trippe.
He will never let you go.

Psalm 103
1 Praise the Lord, I tell myself;
with my whole heart, I will praise his holy name.
2 Praise the Lord, I tell myself,
and never forget the good things he does for me.
3 He forgives all my sins
and heals all my diseases.
4 He ransoms me from death
and surrounds me with love and tender mercies.
5 He fills my life with good things.
My youth is renewed like the eagle's!
6 The Lord gives righteousness
and justice to all who are treated unfairly.
7 He revealed his character to Moses
and his deeds to the people of Israel.
8 The Lord is merciful and gracious;
he is slow to get angry and full of unfailing love.
9 He will not constantly accuse us,
nor remain angry forever.
10 He has not punished us for all our sins,
nor does he deal with us as we deserve.
11 For his unfailing love toward those who fear him
is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth.
12 He has removed our rebellious acts
as far away from us as the east is from the west.
13 The Lord is like a father to his children,
tender and compassionate to those who fear him.
14 For he understands how weak we are;
he knows we are only dust.
15 Our days on earth are like grass;
like wildflowers, we bloom and die.
16 The wind blows, and we are gone-
as though we had never been here.
17 But the love of the Lord remains forever
with those who fear him.
His salvation extends to the children's children
18 of those who are faithful to his covenant,
of those who obey his commandments!
19 The Lord has made the heavens his throne;
from there he rules over everything.
20 Praise the Lord, you angels of his,
you mighty creatures who carry out his plans,
listening for each of his commands.
21 Yes, praise the Lord, you armies of angels
who serve him and do his will!
22 Praise the Lord, everything he has created,
everywhere in his kingdom.
As for me-I, too, will praise the Lord.

 

[JohnnieGuy]

Both of you guys need to look to the Word of God for your assurance. We are saved by the Word, and through the Word, who is also Jesus (He is the Word, in case you didn't know). Anytime we doubt if we are saved, we need to trust God and His Word, because His Word is unchangeable and God cannot lie, and it applies to everyone who trusts Him.

Also Robertz, I think that's cool you are seeing sin. The Holy Spirit is showing your mind through God's Word the truth. You will definitely see it more as the WORD reveals it to you. Because it's a gradual process, and the closer we are to God (through Jesus Christ, His WORD) the more we see what separates us from God.

Also, I think that having a beer is not a sin, and we can overcomplicate things. I'm not sure why you feel it is a sin, but I think what would be best is explain to your daughter that alcohol is for adults only and it is only to be used in moderation, rather than feel unhealthy guilt over something you are allowed to do, both as a Christian and as an adult. We are encouraged in a Pauline epistle to drink a little wine, and our Lord also drank wine when He was on the Earth. In fact it's a perfect way to show godliness and spiritual maturity to your daughter by doing it in moderation, and if she seems scornful to you for drinking a beer then you can in love show her the truth. Drunkenness is a sin, not drinking an occasional alcoholic beverage.

I would suggest to both of you to stop looking at your faults, your past sin, your own wretchedness (trust me this is something I struggle with intensely as well) and set your eyes upon the Voice of Truth, God's Word. Trust the PROMISE OF GOD, that all who BELIEVE will be saved. God says it, I believe it, that ends it.

 

[RobertZ]

Both of you guys need to look to the Word of God for your assurance. We are saved by the Word, and through the Word, who is also Jesus (He is the Word, in case you didn't know). Anytime we doubt if we are saved, we need to trust God and His Word, because His Word is unchangeable and God cannot lie, and it applies to everyone who trusts Him.

Also Robertz, I think that's cool you are seeing sin. The Holy Spirit is showing your mind through God's Word the truth. You will definitely see it more as the WORD reveals it to you. Because it's a gradual process, and the closer we are to God (through Jesus Christ, His WORD) the more we see what separates us from God.

Also, I think that having a beer is not a sin, and we can overcomplicate things. I'm not sure why you feel it is a sin, but I think what would be best is explain to your daughter that alcohol is for adults only and it is only to be used in moderation, rather than feel unhealthy guilt over something you are allowed to do, both as a Christian and as an adult. We are encouraged in a Pauline epistle to drink a little wine, and our Lord also drank wine when He was on the Earth. In fact it's a perfect way to show godliness and spiritual maturity to your daughter by doing it in moderation, and if she seems scornful to you for drinking a beer then you can in love show her the truth. Drunkenness is a sin, not drinking an occasional alcoholic beverage.

I would suggest to both of you to stop looking at your faults, your past sin, your own wretchedness (trust me this is something I struggle with intensely as well) and set your eyes upon the Voice of Truth, God's Word. Trust the PROMISE OF GOD, that all who BELIEVE will be saved. God says it, I believe it, that ends it.

The problem is that I have never had A single beer, its always 1 after the other. Alcohol has been a past issue in my life and if I feel the promptings from the Holy Spirit to leave it alone then I will obey.

 

[JohnnieGuy]

Well you are right on in following God then. I have had a similar issue with online poker. It leads to anger swearing and greed for me, so I can't play, not even a little bit.