what have i done...?

[merciful_faith]

....im feeling rather numb about where i have taken my life. I feel as if i can't talk to anyone i know, for i know they wont understand. how could they?! Im basically the black sheep around here. And if i did talk to someone, they would judge me...and i fear to be judged by my closest friends and adults. What would they think of me...? Im very good at masking my emotions...thats what ive been doing so far. But im feeling so lonely. So, here i am at home...thinking that maybe i can find my answers and strength through this "forum" thing. I guess i could say im just like every christian...where i know i love Jesus...and Ive experienced his amazing miracles in my life. Yet here i go again and again streching my sexuality boundries with my boyfriend, strecthing farther and farther away from Christ. Im ashamed to even turn to God for help. He's probably sick of my pity tears...but im so weak. I cant say no....or i will...but ill go back to my ridiculous ways. why cant i stay strong for once?! And prove to God that i am His child and He can count on me. I hate myself right now with such a passion. I make myself almost sick thinking about what ive done and how ive made promise after promise that im going to stop. But i cant...and i cant do it alone...and Im becoming dicouraged...**sigh**...

 

[Johnnz]

There are many possible reasons why you have this struggle.

1 Family Background - good or unhappy
2 Age
3 How long the relationship has been going
4 The length of your Christian comittment and his
5 Your sex drive level

With some more details others may be able to offer better advice.

John
NZ

 

[NoddaProbBob]

Hang in there. God will take you where you need to be.

 

[ascribe2thelord]

....im feeling rather numb about where i have taken my life. I feel as if i can't talk to anyone i know, for i know they wont understand. how could they?! Im basically the black sheep around here. And if i did talk to someone, they would judge me...and i fear to be judged by my closest friends and adults. What would they think of me...? Im very good at masking my emotions...thats what ive been doing so far. But im feeling so lonely. So, here i am at home...thinking that maybe i can find my answers and strength through this "forum" thing. I guess i could say im just like every christian...where i know i love Jesus...and Ive experienced his amazing miracles in my life. Yet here i go again and again streching my sexuality boundries with my boyfriend, strecthing farther and farther away from Christ. Im ashamed to even turn to God for help. He's probably sick of my pity tears...but im so weak. I cant say no....or i will...but ill go back to my ridiculous ways. why cant i stay strong for once?! And prove to God that i am His child and He can count on me. I hate myself right now with such a passion. I make myself almost sick thinking about what ive done and how ive made promise after promise that im going to stop. But i cant...and i cant do it alone...and Im becoming dicouraged...**sigh**...

We are all like that. What you've just made is a stunning indictment of the church at large, the way we handle the topic of sexuality.

We say no, and do yes.

We've let you down. Your friends are condemning because they know they would have done the exact same thing in the situations you were in.

Let me tell you this - you're not going to find solid support here. You need to find someone who you know loves God and others more than themselves ... someone who is of the same sex, who has been through similar things, and tell them what you've been through. A close friend at this time would really help you to get out of your relationship.

You're with a non-Christian right? Or a self-described "Christian" who doesn't follow Christ? Snap out of it! It's not going to last forever!

I'm not trying to say Christian Forums can't help you in your case, but in your situation you need someone in the real world. You can't stay accountable to a computer screen.

 

[Vedant]

Whatever you are doing.
Where you are.
We've got your back no matter what.
Even if you don't feel God is behind you.
We're here for you.
Because God is behind all of us.

 

[Psalmangel]

I'm in a similar situation. One moment I can do it or I feel like I can. but when the time comes, I fail. Faith, keep believing in Him and don't stop trying until you get it right.

 

[Guineverelyndy]

Merciful... no advice for you, girl! Just a big hug.

I saved my first kiss until last year, and things went WAY too far with that boyfriend. And I felt the same way you do - "Why can't I stop?" I felt so weak. I was so frustrated, because I WANTED to stop. I didn't even want to do what I was doing.

Do you know that your heart matters to God? His desire for you to be holy isn't just for you to measure up to a standard - He knows you will only find real joy in that.

That voice telling you that God doesn't want to hear your tears anymore - IT'S A LIE! You can tell that lying snake to go straight to hell, and tell him that Guinevere seconds that. Go read the story of the prodigal son. The father picked up his robes and RAN to his returning son, an extremely undignified move in that time. That is how your heavenly Father waits for you. He wants to dry your tears, restore your soul, and give you the strength to pursue His will and your joy.

Love to you!

Guinevere

 

[manuni]

Hi Buddy,
Cheer Up! and don't Give Up!
That is the golden rule.
Lookwe all go thru similar or maybe sometime worse situations. It is a struggle we are in. I am not trying to neutralise the seriousnes of the matter. But don't get angry with urself and feel sad! I will tell u a story.
Once a man like you had this talk with Jesus. He was all worried abt his inability to keep promises with Lord and repeated sins! So he asked Jesus, Lord tell me honestly, are u really able to love me even now, after keeping on breaking promises and sinning. I am sorry abt the whole affair. But can u love me again! I don't see any reason u should love me again!
Jesus told liek this. My dear child, i know not only the sins which u have done but all those sins which u r going to do. And still love you dearly.
You got my point. Again it is not to nullyfy or weaken the seriousness of our sins. But there is a sure hope we can cling to.
May God Bless You
...regards
...manu

 

[Cristiano]

....im feeling rather numb about where i have taken my life. I feel as if i can't talk to anyone i know, for i know they wont understand. how could they?! Im basically the black sheep around here. And if i did talk to someone, they would judge me...and i fear to be judged by my closest friends and adults. What would they think of me...? Im very good at masking my emotions...thats what ive been doing so far. But im feeling so lonely. So, here i am at home...thinking that maybe i can find my answers and strength through this "forum" thing. I guess i could say im just like every christian...where i know i love Jesus...and Ive experienced his amazing miracles in my life. Yet here i go again and again streching my sexuality boundries with my boyfriend, strecthing farther and farther away from Christ. Im ashamed to even turn to God for help. He's probably sick of my pity tears...but im so weak. I cant say no....or i will...but ill go back to my ridiculous ways. why cant i stay strong for once?! And prove to God that i am His child and He can count on me. I hate myself right now with such a passion. I make myself almost sick thinking about what ive done and how ive made promise after promise that im going to stop. But i cant...and i cant do it alone...and Im becoming dicouraged...**sigh**...

Sounds like the relationship is not a good one for you spiritually. Maybe you need some time for yourself and God. Without the relationship, you will have less temptation. If the relationship is not honoring God, you don't need to be in it right now. That's for YOUR spiritual well-being, and that's what God cares about. I hope this helps. We are all week. I keep giving in to my temptations too, but it is more on a personal level and not with other people. Something that has changed my thinking is that we tend to make things idols in our lives. Each person has a different one. This may be yours. Idol worship doesn't mean we go into some weird temple and bow before a god. It means that we set up in our hearts something that we value more than worshiping God. We spend our time thinking about that one thing and acting on that one thing, rather than thinking about God and seeking His face.
God bless

 

[Cristiano]

weak not week sorry.

 

[spr]

(2Co 12:9) And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

You can't do it on your own, and that is just what the Lord is teaching you.

No one will be able to comfort you, God has taken others comfort from you. Your comfort can only come from God now, not a boyfriend, or even a mother.

(Mat 10:37) He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.

You have been chosen by God in his infinate wisdom, just follow, don't question, and set aside shame because there is no room for it. Christ is far greater than anything the world can give you, rest in Him.

 

[KCDAD]

So you are upset about getting too sexually involved with someone? Welcome to the human race. We all want to feel pleasure and comfort with someone else. The real issue to be dealt with is not what you are doing or with whom, but WHY. Is it for you or for the other person? If it is for the other person is it because you want them to think about you in certain way, or because you don't want to risk losing them? If it is for you, do they know it is purely for your own needs? (Is it mutual) If you are being forced into doing something you don't want to for any reason, then you need to get out of that relationship. If you are intimate with this person because of a deep concern for their well being and you both are being "other" oriented, then what's the guilt about?

 

[Fares]

We are all weak . We are all sinners .