What else could go wrong?

[Celticroots]

My Mom and I moved into our house recently. We're stressed from unpacking. Then we find out today that the dishwasher doesn't work. And Mom has a meltdown, going on again about how she hates it here and how we never should have left Idaho.

Things were fine for a good half of the day until then. I can't take this anymore. I am sick of hearing this same rant over and over from her. I am ready to move myself again if it will stop her complaining.

I am considering having a talk with her along with my counselor, but the last thing I need is her taking it the wrong way and think I am blaming her.

I have depression too. And she wont' get help even though she knows she's depressed, despite the fact that there are free counseling services available. And I can't stay with my Dad and stepmom. They don't understand about my disability and I'll just get run down. That's the last thing I need after being hospitalized for pneumonia.

I just exploded at God in anger today and started swearing. I told Him that I was beginning to think He doesn't exist at all. Don't reply saying I am awful for saying those things to God. I hate myself enough already.

I have accepted Christ as my savior and strive to get close to Him. I feel like such a disgusting person for swearing and a hypocrite for saying I am trying to get close to God when I blew up today. I've seen Him work many times in my life before. But now I am fed up. I am literally just waiting for something else to go wrong.

 

[Winken]

What would you prefer that we say?

 

[Jeshu]

You think God is angry because you blew up or will curse you now and make life even harder? i found out that hard times are used by God to bring out bad life into the open so we can repent of it and get rid of it. If we end-up getting more bad life from bad life then our Lord is sad and even sadder when we think He is to blame - any one knows Jesus is innocent of any wrong doing, humanity on the other hand haven't produced to many Jesus' tho has it? It is hard fighting disappointments and anger sometimes it takes us awhile to find cleansing stick to Him and keep your eyes on Him instead of the bad life attacking and see the difference.

Peace.

 

[Celticroots]

I've repented. I try to get close and stick to Him. I pray He will change my Mom. She seems fine sometimes then other times not. I am doing all I can. It gets frustrating. I pray that God helps me separate myself from my Mom's. Several times. Doesn't seem to be working.

 

[tdidymas]

I've repented. I try to get close and stick to Him. I pray He will change my Mom. She seems fine sometimes then other times not. I am doing all I can. It gets frustrating. I pray that God helps me separate myself from my Mom's. Several times. Doesn't seem to be working.

It may be that the Lord has you with your mother right now so that you can learn how to love a difficult person. I know how hard that is, because I've had to do it myself. It is much easier to run away and have nothing to do with them. What is difficult is to forgive her and continue to meet her needs as well as your own.

Rom. 8:28 "God causes all things to work together for our good, for those who love God and are called according to His purpose." God takes us through difficult times to make us better people (more Christlike). Heb. 12:1-11 explains this. Take your hardship as God loving you, and teaching you how to love others.

But you must also get grounded in who you are. You are in covenant relationship with God, so who you are in the spiritual plane should now become more significant. Eph. 1:3-7:

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we would be holy and blameless before Him. In love He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, which He freely bestowed on us in the Beloved. In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace..."

According to this passage, the definition of who you are is:
1. In Christ
2. Blessed
3. Chosen
4. Predestined
5. Loved
6. Redeemed

This is what the grace of God should mean for each of us. We all need to be well-grounded in who we are in this way, in order to learn how to love others as Christ does. But it also requires that you exercise faith in Him, and getting grounded in who you are in relation to Him will help you in that.

I recommend joining a recovery group where you can talk about your issues in a safe environment to help you overcome your depression.
(Celebrate Recovery):
Home
Celebrate Recovery Group Locator
TD

 

[Tempura]

Yeah, sometimes it piles up and it's hard to stay calm. Sometimes something good comes out of it though, because when one is angry enough, that anger can be harnessed as energy to make things happen. I often need to be shaken up to do something about whatever it is that's bugging me. The other part of anger is the bad one, the kind of anger that only consumes everything; takes without ever giving anything back. I'm not good with anger myself. I sometimes need it, I'm easily angered, but I'm horrible at controlling it.

You're not any more awful than I am. We can learn from our mistakes. If not always in the ways we act, then at least in our hearts in how we judge things. With Christ comes mercy and the reminder of how it's really hard to actually be like him, in fact it's impossible. Which is why every time I do something crappy - which is often - I try to focus on Christ on the cross who did what I never could, instead of my own sins. My sins or doubts aren't nearly as important or powerful as He is. They're just dirt, and I want to let them go and focus on what's important.

You're just stressed. It'll get better. No need to whack yourself in the head with it. And at least you're honest about it too and you know where you want to be. That's a great foundation right there.

 

[Press On]

Dear Celticroots,

Been there, done that. Just 4 days ago as a matter of fact; I blew up. It’s rare, but it happens when I can’t take anymore (or think I can’t).

Next morning I woke up. Yes, I felt better for venting. But it’s what I did with my sin; I repented. At no time did I sense anger from Him, but I know I hurt him deeply.

He showed me my ugly heart. Even when I think I’m alright, I’m not. He peels back the onion just a little more to show me. “Do you see what you did/said/thought? What will you do with this new information? I love you so very much and I’m waiting to see.”

You have some wonderful responses, including from 2 brothers I have never met but love and respect deeply from our PM conversations.

Praying for you. You are loved by Him and by us.

 

[Jeshu]

I've repented. I try to get close and stick to Him. I pray He will change my Mom. She seems fine sometimes then other times not. I am doing all I can. It gets frustrating. I pray that God helps me separate myself from my Mom's. Several times. Doesn't seem to be working.

yes i know what you mean about repenting - i have done the same - many times, it is so good to meet Jesus in His grace isn't it? For we can sin against the Father and against the Son but not believing that is not forgiven by His Spirit that is the worst sin we can commit. (i've been down there what a hell hole satan has in store for those who cut God's grace off from their lives, unbelievable torture to be without any Good Life unbelievable torture to be without His love, unbelievable torture to be without His grace!)

i hope you can get away from your mum even if it is only temporary but if you can't get away from her then Jesus will get you trough loving her faithfully even though she does not if you die to your anger, bitterness, anger and frustrations with regards to your mum and learn to look underneath her sins and shortcomings and see the lost person that she is being like that. This is the lesson you will have to learn then while you are confronted with the hardships of having to do that in real life. Very hard to love unlovable people, i know, but very rewarding as Kingdom worker and Jesus brings us awesome gifts in the process.

Honestly true. Jesus will endow you with true and lasting beauty if you lay you hurting life down and take His up - an eternally faithful loving heart to carry! Best treasure ever, and am pursuing our Lord for such gifts even now. His gifts are so desirable and awesome. Nothing better than a faithfully loving heart to fight depression that is my experience in life with Him.

 

[Celticroots]

I prayed I'd have a better day. Guess that was too much to ask. Even though I talked to God as I usually do, especially about how I am feeling right now.

 

[Jeshu]

I prayed I'd have a better day. Guess that was too much to ask. Even though I talked to God as I usually do, especially about how I am feeling right now.

if only it was as easy as that! i found that bad life goes away only after we understand why it is in us, and how come it does to us as it does, and how in Jesus we can counter such forces of evil within us.

For example praying to Jesus and then want instant gratification to our request is a Western way of getting our essentials goodies, not often is its God's way of doing things. With God the giving starts very small usually - mere seeds - and then He grows our crops - as we work with Him in our lives through both good (light sunny warm weather,) and bad ( rainy dark cold weather,) times.

Life with Him is very much like growing a orchard and or veggie patches. Not often otherwise really. i do know that blaming God for not bringing us back our good life when we want it, brings us heaps more bad life and doesn't make things better whatsoever. Accepting, forgiving God, other and self and loving each one of those three in our life is of utmost importance to get away from our bad life.

So please be patient with God, other and self and let Him do His miracles in your life by holding onto love, faith and hope, (1 Corinthians 13:13,) and learning to let go of any thought or feeling in opposition to those truths of God in your life. i know very hard when we are rock bottom but that is the best position to start building a New life up from as it can't get much lower than depression pushes us can it?

Much love and many blessings.

Peace

To God's Depressed Child,

To think less of yourself then God's own
Brings you much pain and suffering.
Your worth is an incredible high price
Also for you did Jesus die on the cross.

Depression is also what devil's lies brings inside
letting a low-self-esteem your good life rob
Untruths roaming freely through heart and mind
Evil lies extinguishing all happiness and fun.

His loving truth brings you His good life
While to believe lies brings pain and grief
So hold onto the promises Jesus made to you
and don't let Satan your good life squander.

Take hold of God's precious loving truth.
A life in Him stays safe from lies that hurt.
Jesus' truth will comfort your bleeding heart
Lovingly remaking your fallen life anew.

 

[1am3laine]

You should call some prayer lines.
1 (800) 541-PRAY(7729) = Word of Faith Southfield, MI
1-800-329-0029 = Daystar TV


Plus I know this site has to be helping you with all the prayers.

 

[Stormy]

Count your blessings. Seriously when things seem hard for me and the day is too long.. plus the night brings no sleep. Instead of dwelling in all that is wrong ... I start listing all that I am thankful for.

No its not a cure, more like an aspirin. But it does bring me some peace. I pray it works for you.

 

[Jeshu]

My Mom and I moved into our house recently. We're stressed from unpacking. Then we find out today that the dishwasher doesn't work. And Mom has a meltdown, going on again about how she hates it here and how we never should have left Idaho.

Things were fine for a good half of the day until then. I can't take this anymore. I am sick of hearing this same rant over and over from her. I am ready to move myself again if it will stop her complaining.

I am considering having a talk with her along with my counselor, but the last thing I need is her taking it the wrong way and think I am blaming her.

I have depression too. And she wont' get help even though she knows she's depressed, despite the fact that there are free counseling services available. And I can't stay with my Dad and stepmom. They don't understand about my disability and I'll just get run down. That's the last thing I need after being hospitalized for pneumonia.

I just exploded at God in anger today and started swearing. I told Him that I was beginning to think He doesn't exist at all. Don't reply saying I am awful for saying those things to God. I hate myself enough already.

I have accepted Christ as my savior and strive to get close to Him. I feel like such a disgusting person for swearing and a hypocrite for saying I am trying to get close to God when I blew up today. I've seen Him work many times in my life before. But now I am fed up. I am literally just waiting for something else to go wrong.

Sorry to think things are so hard on you right now. Please do understand that God understands our rants, i've had plenty of them myself, but His love is just as great as ever, it was just in my depression i was looking the wrong way thing it was him to blame somehow while He suffered all the bad life that came my way and prepared me a way through that. It can be very hard when we are at our end and by the sounds of it you are ready to snap. please take care and make sure you get some good life in.

Blessings