what does therapy accomplish?

[TCapp]

I'm wanting to ask a question of folks who would know. What can you expect from therapy? I've gone to see someone a handful of times now. I have done a lot of talking. She's done a lot of listening, and asked questions now and then.

I guess I'm wanting to know is this: is this all that ever gets done? I really appreciate the listening..... but sometimes I'm thinking there needs to be more. What expectations are realistic and what aren't?

So far, these are what expectations I have:

I expect her to listen and not pass any sort of judgement on my beliefs, etc.
I cannot expect to hear much about her personal life.
I cannot expect her to "fix" me up completely.

Other than that, I really don't know what I will get out of this.

I know it will be different for everyone.... but my question is, what kinds of things can I expect? Anyone call tell me what they get out of it?

 

[penguinfacesnorth]

I'm wanting to ask a question of folks who would know. What can you expect from therapy? I've gone to see someone a handful of times now. I have done a lot of talking. She's done a lot of listening, and asked questions now and then.

I guess I'm wanting to know is this: is this all that ever gets done? I really appreciate the listening..... but sometimes I'm thinking there needs to be more. What expectations are realistic and what aren't?

So far, these are what expectations I have:

I expect her to listen and not pass any sort of judgement on my beliefs, etc.
I cannot expect to hear much about her personal life.
I cannot expect her to "fix" me up completely.

Other than that, I really don't know what I will get out of this.

I know it will be different for everyone.... but my question is, what kinds of things can I expect? Anyone call tell me what they get out of it?

Most of your expectations are right on target. Hopefully over time through the listening and asking questions, she will be able to give you suggestions or advice on how to deal with whatever is troubling you in the first place. She won't be able to " fix" you as you said, but sometimes just having a different persepective or someone to talk to who knows some solutions will help. You will still have to do work on your own to get better. It is important to have one you trust, therefore you can be honest. It won't help at all if you go and lie about whats happening or how you are feeling. Good luck with the therapy I hope it works out for you

 

[andrewbee]

I expect her to listen and not pass any sort of judgement on my beliefs, etc.
I cannot expect to hear much about her personal life.
I cannot expect her to "fix" me up completely.

Your expectations are correct. The last one is the most important: she won't fix you up completely. You have to do that part. She merely facilitates your personal changing and growth process.

The amount is success you have depends on how willing you are to "go through the eye of the storm". The areas we need to grow in the most are the hardest and most painful ones to tackle. If you are willing to face up to the pain, and change, you can find freedom and joy you never thought possible in this life.

BTW, don't ever let any Christians tell you that psychotherapy is wrong, and that Christians shouldn't need it. Much of the church has a completely ignorant, backward attitude to dealing with emotional problems. There are some very good therapists out there who can help you, and I believe that God caused me to cross paths with the ones I've used. I had what I needed available when I needed it.

I have a long history of working with different types of therapy and therapists, and wonderful results to show for it - if you want to talk privately, feel free to PM me.

 

[bliz]

A therapist is one persn in your life who has no agenda for you other than what you set for yourself. Everyone else has an agenda - your pastor wants you to keep your faith, your parents want you to love them, your siblings may want you to keep fulfilling a role in the family, a spouse may not want to you become more independent. A therapist has none of that going on - they simply want you to become the best you you can be, as you define that.

Some people talk a long time before they get to something to really work on. That's OK. You should also fell free to talk about your expectations about therapy with your therapist. Hang in there. It can take some time, but it can be very very helpful.

 

[TCapp]

Yeah, I kind of figured that just two months worth wasn't going to do a whole lot, but it's still some progress. I think I will talk to her about this, and flat-out ask her what kind of expectations and goals I can work toward.

I appreciate your input, friends.

 

[InTheFlame]

I would expect that a therapist help me to sort out my past, and what I think/feel about it, and what steps I will do toward healing.

Sorting out my past would possibly involve structured questionnaires that would evoke fairly standard information from me - relationship to parents and siblings, psych and addiction history of family members, key events in my life.

When sorting out what I think/feel about it, I'd expect active listening (basically summarising what I've said in their own words, to see if they've understood what I'm saying - and also to provide me with a concise version of what I've said) and guiding questions.

Steps to healing - I'd expect these to be partly structured, partly worked out with me. It might be things like phoning my parents, confronting a person, telling my spouse I love them.. etc.

Hrmmm... I'm not sure this is the sort of stuff a psychotherapist tends to do... but hope it helps.