What does one do?

[lovedbyGod]

I have recently been brought into a a situation with a fellow brother and sister who have been united in marriage with Christ. After 6 wonderful years my brother is asking for a divorcee. He made a comment to me and asked for forgiveness. his wife is devastated and has also asked questions.

I believe in the covenant of marriage. If you are asked to help I believe we are to help with prayer and possible suggestions. However the pastor feels our brothers and sisters should not help out this couple. They should seek counsel and let their personal problems not become a topic of discussion.

I don't believe that their dispute has become a discussion topic. I believe they are requesting help from all sources. What should one do? Should I butt out, ,should I offer advice, or should I just pray? Any thoughts?

 

[Martin]

lovedbygod,
It's difficult to give specific advice without knowing the people involved and the situation.....

Firstly, you can and should pray for them as individuals, as a married couple and for their marriage.

Beyond that, I would advise that you submit to your leadership - if he/they say that you should not get involved then (subject to you having explained your reasons for wanting to help) you should not get involved. Your leadership will carry the responsibility before God, if they took the wrong decision and advised you incorrectly, but you will be honouring God by your submission. Furthermore, if you go against your leadership, you will give the enemy legal right to interfere, through your disobedience.

Having said that....if you are able to help, the degree to which you can help depends on the skills with which you have been blessed by God. If you have any counselling skills (particulaly with marriage situations) then I would encourage you to go ahead with the sensitive leading of the Lord. I would have to assume that at some time they loved each other enough to make a commitment before God to enter into marriage, each one giving themself to the other. So, what happened? At some point it would appeared that the husband laid down his love for his wife. The help would be to find the point at which he did this and why. From this point, with the guidance of the Holy Spirit he should be brought to acknowledge what he has done, to encourage him to see his wife in the light with which he initially sought her, the result of his action upon his relationship with God - the aim being to restore that man in his marriage.

It may well be, that the wife had some part to play or not.
If it appears so, then there may need to be some corrective action on her part. I would advocate seperate counselling in the first instance, under the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

Sorry, I can't be of more help, given the limitations of the internet.....

Blessings,

 

[amie]

Hi lovedbyGod,
Be there for them if they need...offer them words of comfort and inspiration, give your shoulder to cry on in times of sadness, give your arms to embrace in times of joy, give your heart to them always in times of love... Keep praying and I will do the same. They are lucky to have one who cares so deeply, you have a beautiful gift...I am praying for and with you always...God Bless you with love and peace...
Amie

 

[JohnR7]

Often it takes a healing touch from God to restore a marriage. Things happen that may not even be anyones fault. There is a battle to be fought, a war to win, our victory is in Jesus and we are more than overcomers.

 

[Gerry]

The problem I see with giving advice is that as human beings our advice tends to be slanted in one direction or another. So often we give advice based on our emotions, prejudices, or personal experience. All of which may be completely wrong, as pertaining to anothers situation.

That is why Christian Counseling is such an important and needed service. The way I understand Scripture it is also a particular calling. That is why I think the advice you were given by the Pastor is the Biblically correct one.

If we must give advice, we should make sure it is done with much prayer and based solely on the expressed Word of God!

 

[Living for Him]

Praying. Wisdom for you, peace and Gods healing for them and their marriage.

Living for Him, Lori