What does forgiveness look like for you?

[Bianca01]

Please post what forgiveness looks like for you personally. What are your challenges, how do you get past anger issues in order to forgive? Any analogies that might be helful.

Who/what was the biggest forgiveness issue for you? In telling your personal story you might help others.

 

[LonelyTraveler]

I don't know how a person can visualize forgiveness. Forgiveness is kinda like where a river goes into the ocean. The water, tossed and turned in the river's rapids, forced to carry rocks and sediment on its journey from the highlands, it forgives the river and begins a new life in the ocean. It understands that the river was the way it was because God created it that way in order for the water to fulfill its purpose, a purpose it couldn't understand while it was busy fulfilling its purpose.

The first few months after I found God, I was angry with Him. I hated that He made me so repulsive, unable to be loved. I hated the people and their opinions of me. Very turbulent mind. But now that I'm about to begin a new life in Heaven, I forgive. I understand that God made me how I am and the people how they are, so we could both fulfill our purpose. Some people aren't meant to enjoy life, so God ensures that. But that's OK, because now i know.

 

[lmarie23]

I consider myself to be a pretty forgiving person. When friends or family members say hurtful things to me, I usually am quick to forgive them. But sometimes I do this at the expense of blaming myself instead, which isn't healthy either. What I do struggle with mostly is forgiving myself. When I fall into sin I have the hardest time forgiving myself afterwards, even though I know God has forgiven me. I also have a hard time forgiving myself for perceived mistakes I have made.

With respect to other people, the hardest thing I have had to forgive is something my mom said to me when i was young. she told me that if anyone ever knew me, they could never really love me. it's affected me a great deal, to the point where i have a hard time accepting love. hence i have had a hard time forgiving her for that. but i think i'm finally coming to the place where i have. part of what makes it hard to forgive her is she claims it never happened, so then i doubt myself. but it still affected me, so i still have to forgive her...

 

[GrannieAnnie]

Ahhh, Imarie, you have helped me already...my mother has also said things to me that have been very hurtful, and has totally denied saying them....and I know she DID...nice to know I'm not alone in that one. Like you, the hardest person I find to forgive is myself. I've hurt many people over the years, especially family, I've changed my life now, I'm a totally different person, but I still have incredible guilt for my past, even though I've apologised to all concerned. My dad was a very heavy drinker and our lives as kids was hell. I have been able to forgive him...for most things...and I know why he was what he was....but sometimes the old memories still come back. He's 96 now and mum is 89 and I really WANT to love them, and I do, but it's taken a long,long time. What does forgiveness feel like... it feels like I can breath deeply and totally without feeling restricted, it feels like I don't have a weight on my shoulders anymore. I feel free.

 

[lmarie23]

The first few months after I found God, I was angry with Him. I hated that He made me so repulsive, unable to be loved. I hated the people and their opinions of me. Very turbulent mind. But now that I'm about to begin a new life in Heaven, I forgive. I understand that God made me how I am and the people how they are, so we could both fulfill our purpose. Some people aren't meant to enjoy life, so God ensures that. But that's OK, because now i know.

Are you saying that you are repulsive and unable to be loved? And you aren't meant to enjoy life? i have problems with both of those statements. First of all, though I may not know you personally, I know that the Bible says that you are "fearfully and wonderfully made," and God loves you, He loves you so much that He sent His son to die for you. You are not unlovable, you are not repulsive. And although happiness is fleeting and ephemeral, joy is not, and joy is attainable through a relationship with Christ Jesus. and i'm not sure what you mean about how you're about to begin a new life in heaven. please do not do anything hasty. if you need anyone to talk to, pm me. i am here for you. and here is some scripture for you to meditate on:

Psalm 139:1-16

1 O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.

2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.
5 You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, [a] you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, 16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

 

[Jeshu]

Forgiveness, I had to forgive three young men for sexually assaulting me. I knew I had to forgive but for years stored hate and self disgust in my heart. This horrible act totally stuffed up me up as I kept it a deeply hidden secret until my first psychosis (36 years old). How sweet forgiveness then is? How it restores the soul. How better to copy our Father in Heaven?
Now I have learned NEVER to stay angry with anyone about anything. I can still get angry but I refuse to stay angry especially with those I love. Jesus taught me this when He said in your anger do not sin and don't let the sun go down on your anger - the best of advise.

 

[UnitynLove]

Thank you soooo much for this post sis! This will definatly bless someone, God is truely using you. Amen.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZkKxc1Co3o Messages 1-3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UgjNABvkprs Messages 1-6

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fFn1hLLLmR4 Messages 1-3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wQtfgVWngWc Messages 1-7

 

[Jo1]

hi i have just listened to a very good teaching on this subject by Michael Hinson its another way to look at it.
Seperating the sin from the person. He says God does not forgive sin or else Jesus wouldnt have had to die on the cross. But he forgives sinners. The second part of the teaching focuses more on this subject.
he says to say a prayer like this to God i wrote it out see what you think:

Father in the name of Jesus Christ what this person did to me was sin, take this sin from them and put it on the cross of Jesus Christ and seperate it from them.
father forgive them and on the day of judgement when I stand before your throne I will hold no accusation against them, father they will be free even now I release them in Jesus name.
at the end he said to say this
father bless them in ever way possible, and prosper them in Jesus name.

this is the link to the page
http://www.sidroth.org/site/News2?abbr=tv_&page=NewsArticle&id=5196&security=1041&news_iv_ctrl=1190
you would have to listen to the teaching to understand this more..
anyway hope this helps you in someway
god bless love Jo

 

[BlessedMommy05]

Hello..
Well forgiveness is some thing to me like a weight lifted off of me when I do forgive, but I am also quick to forgive my freinds, and my husband and his family.. I think about the life I've had and often times just learning a few new things a week or so ago about some stuff and its been hard to forgive but I know that Jesus said in the word to forgive unless we want to be forgiven by our Father in Heaven. That says alot really..

My mom was a very over-protective person of me,but when it came down to issues it was either my fault or some one elses, she could never see the actual fault was on the person whom done harm to her children or grandchildren.. I've had a hard time to forgive her for some stuff she said, and a hard time to forgive my brother for what he did to us kids.. So yeah its not easy but each time a memory comes up or I think about it, I have to lay it at the cross of Jesus and say Lord help me to forgive and the weight begins to lift but its a constant thing for me to do.. I am at least attempting to forgive and move on past my anger and past the bitterness and just who I am not to be but a child of the living God..

Hope that helps some.. God bless you..

BlessedMommy05

 

[gracechick]

Ahhh, Imarie, you have helped me already...my mother has also said things to me that have been very hurtful, and has totally denied saying them....and I know she DID...nice to know I'm not alone in that one. Like you, the hardest person I find to forgive is myself. I've hurt many people over the years, especially family, I've changed my life now, I'm a totally different person, but I still have incredible guilt for my past, even though I've apologised to all concerned. My dad was a very heavy drinker and our lives as kids was hell. I have been able to forgive him...for most things...and I know why he was what he was....but sometimes the old memories still come back. He's 96 now and mum is 89 and I really WANT to love them, and I do, but it's taken a long,long time. What does forgiveness feel like... it feels like I can breath deeply and totally without feeling restricted, it feels like I don't have a weight on my shoulders anymore. I feel free.

Have you heard of or read anything by Joyce Meyer. She was physically abused by her father & talks about how she learned to forgive & trust God. & how to leave your pain in the past.
Might want to check her site out as well. I havn't for quite a while so maybe there is something on there about her testimony.

 

[Bianca01]

Thank you everyone for sharing. This is all so helpful.

 

[Bianca01]

hi i have just listened to a very good teaching on this subject by Michael Hinson its another way to look at it.
Seperating the sin from the person. He says God does not forgive sin or else Jesus wouldnt have had to die on the cross. But he forgives sinners. The second part of the teaching focuses more on this subject.
he says to say a prayer like this to God i wrote it out see what you think:

Father in the name of Jesus Christ what this person did to me was sin, take this sin from them and put it on the cross of Jesus Christ and seperate it from them.
father forgive them and on the day of judgement when I stand before your throne I will hold no accusation against them, father they will be free even now I release them in Jesus name.
at the end he said to say this
father bless them in ever way possible, and prosper them in Jesus name.

this is the link to the page
http://www.sidroth.org/site/News2?abbr=tv_&page=NewsArticle&id=5196&security=1041&news_iv_ctrl=1190
you would have to listen to the teaching to understand this more..
anyway hope this helps you in someway
god bless love Jo

Hi Jo,

I really like the first part of this prayer... It's the middle and end that really take some doing. I think for me maybe praying, "Lord do with them what you will" at the end might be a little easier. I have such resentment because I feel like my life may have turned out so much differently had certain things not happened to me in my childhood. It's hard to think of them enjoying their life so much (which by the way they are).

Just to let you know, it's quite a bit to think about... for I have re-read this post more than a few times.

Thank you

 

[Bianca01]

Hello..
Well forgiveness is some thing to me like a weight lifted off of me when I do forgive, but I am also quick to forgive my freinds, and my husband and his family.. I think about the life I've had and often times just learning a few new things a week or so ago about some stuff and its been hard to forgive but I know that Jesus said in the word to forgive unless we want to be forgiven by our Father in Heaven. That says alot really..

My mom was a very over-protective person of me,but when it came down to issues it was either my fault or some one elses, she could never see the actual fault was on the person whom done harm to her children or grandchildren.. I've had a hard time to forgive her for some stuff she said, and a hard time to forgive my brother for what he did to us kids.. So yeah its not easy but each time a memory comes up or I think about it, I have to lay it at the cross of Jesus and say Lord help me to forgive and the weight begins to lift but its a constant thing for me to do.. I am at least attempting to forgive and move on past my anger and past the bitterness and just who I am not to be but a child of the living God..

Hope that helps some.. God bless you..

BlessedMommy05

Hi BlessedMommy05,

This does help. I keep having the same stuff come up. I was molested by my brother. Lately, the memories seem to be coming back stronger. Went through therapy several times, but, this forgiveness thing is tough.

Thank you.

 

[treasures]

UnitynLove,

Good messages. Thank you for the links.

 

[angelgabrielle1973]

About 3 weeks ago, I sent a card and letter to a friend of mine. We have known each other for the past 10 years. Some stuff happened a few years back and she lost her trust in me and our friendship ended. A couple of years ago, I ran into her at a Christian Church and found out she's born-again. *yeah*

Well, the issue of asking for her forgiveness came up and so I sent her that card / letter. I have yet to receive a response from her as to whether or not she has forgiven me. Since I don't know, it's really bothering me. I mean, if she's a true believer, she will forgive me, but if she's not then something needs to be done to help her reach forgiveness.

And this issue of not knowing if I have been forgiven has become very burdensome for me. I want to move on to others that I have hurt and ask for forgiveness but I seem to have been stagnating with this one particular friend who is also a Christian.

What's it going to be like when I ask a non-believe to forgive me if a believer can't find it in her heart to forgive? It just does not seem quite encouraging.

 

[Bianca01]

About 3 weeks ago, I sent a card and letter to a friend of mine. We have known each other for the past 10 years. Some stuff happened a few years back and she lost her trust in me and our friendship ended. A couple of years ago, I ran into her at a Christian Church and found out she's born-again. *yeah*

Well, the issue of asking for her forgiveness came up and so I sent her that card / letter. I have yet to receive a response from her as to whether or not she has forgiven me. Since I don't know, it's really bothering me. I mean, if she's a true believer, she will forgive me, but if she's not then something needs to be done to help her reach forgiveness.

And this issue of not knowing if I have been forgiven has become very burdensome for me. I want to move on to others that I have hurt and ask for forgiveness but I seem to have been stagnating with this one particular friend who is also a Christian.

What's it going to be like when I ask a non-believe to forgive me if a believer can't find it in her heart to forgive? It just does not seem quite encouraging.

Hi AngelGabrielle1973,

I think you have done all you could in sending the forgiveness card/letter. I think that shows what a good heart you have. As fas as non-believers, wouldn't it be wonderful if one came to Christ because of your asking their forgiveness?

Someone shared Luke 17:3,4 with me again recently. It really helped with my forgiveness issues.

Take care.