What does a Biblical marriage look like?

[Gentle Lamb]

A lot of the advice from the world for ladies trying to get married says that the lady should be a queen, should look for a man who makes a lot of money and can fully support heras a wife, and that as a queen her main priority is to look pretty. The man should be the provider and should make more money than the wife.

In reality, we live in a day and age where every man doesn't have it that way. And aside from real queens of history, whose job is it really just to sit around and look pretty? Even Queen Esther put her neck on the line for her people and was able to engage her King in a way that Queen Vashti wasn't able to.

What is a real, God honoring, Biblical marriage supposed to look like?

I believe, and have heard advice from Christian women, that it is good for a woman to have her own income, to help protect her from being overly vulnerable to a man (this is also to help her in cases of potential abuse so that she doesn't feel like she has no way out and only should depend on the man in case abuse begins towards her or the kids). Ideally, we are talking about marriages that are not abusive in nature.

I believe that if a woman is going to be a SAHM, then that means the children are already in the home and are being cared for in infancy or being homeschooled for the older children, while the mom also takes care of every other household need. That is the scenario where being a SAHM makes the most sense to me as it provides a safe and secure environment to bring up children while saving on the cost of childcare and education.

If the man is only supposed to make the woman a pretty, pampered queen, is that not some sort of abuse for the man? Where does that "queen" help her husband, in what way?

I keep getting bombarded with these queen messages and it's just really confusing. I'd appreciate any input about real life marriage, and what a Godly, Biblical marriage should look like.

 

[Maria Billingsley]

A lot of the advice from the world for ladies trying to get married says that the lady should be a queen, should look for a man who makes a lot of money and can fully support heras a wife, and that as a queen her main priority is to look pretty. The man should be the provider and should make more money than the wife.

In reality, we live in a day and age where every man doesn't have it that way. And aside from real queens of history, whose job is it really just to sit around and look pretty? Even Queen Esther put her neck on the line for her people and was able to engage her King in a way that Queen Vashti wasn't able to.

What is a real, God honoring, Biblical marriage supposed to look like?

I believe, and have heard advice from Christian women, that it is good for a woman to have her own income, to help protect her from being overly vulnerable to a man (this is also to help her in cases of potential abuse so that she doesn't feel like she has no way out and only should depend on the man in case abuse begins towards her or the kids). Ideally, we are talking about marriages that are not abusive in nature.

I believe that if a woman is going to be a SAHM, then that means the children are already in the home and are being cared for in infancy or being homeschooled for the older children, while the mom also takes care of every other household need. That is the scenario where being a SAHM makes the most sense to me as it provides a safe and secure environment to bring up children while saving on the cost of childcare and education.

If the man is only supposed to make the woman a pretty, pampered queen, is that not some sort of abuse for the man? Where does that "queen" help her husband, in what way?

I keep getting bombarded with these queen messages and it's just really confusing. I'd appreciate any input about real life marriage, and what a Godly, Biblical marriage should look like.

A Biblical marriage is for life because the promise between a man and woman is made to each other and also to The Father, our God through Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

A queen has no place in a marriage.

Blessings.

 

[TheLastGeek]

A lot of the advice from the world for ladies trying to get married says that the lady should be a queen, should look for a man who makes a lot of money and can fully support heras a wife, and that as a queen her main priority is to look pretty. The man should be the provider and should make more money than the wife.

In reality, we live in a day and age where every man doesn't have it that way. And aside from real queens of history, whose job is it really just to sit around and look pretty? Even Queen Esther put her neck on the line for her people and was able to engage her King in a way that Queen Vashti wasn't able to.

What is a real, God honoring, Biblical marriage supposed to look like?

I believe, and have heard advice from Christian women, that it is good for a woman to have her own income, to help protect her from being overly vulnerable to a man (this is also to help her in cases of potential abuse so that she doesn't feel like she has no way out and only should depend on the man in case abuse begins towards her or the kids). Ideally, we are talking about marriages that are not abusive in nature.

I believe that if a woman is going to be a SAHM, then that means the children are already in the home and are being cared for in infancy or being homeschooled for the older children, while the mom also takes care of every other household need. That is the scenario where being a SAHM makes the most sense to me as it provides a safe and secure environment to bring up children while saving on the cost of childcare and education.

If the man is only supposed to make the woman a pretty, pampered queen, is that not some sort of abuse for the man? Where does that "queen" help her husband, in what way?

I keep getting bombarded with these queen messages and it's just really confusing. I'd appreciate any input about real life marriage, and what a Godly, Biblical marriage should look like.

The whole "king/queen/princess" thing really makes me roll my eyes. I've never subscribed to that and never will. I think it's laughable and reeks of fragile egos and inflated self.

There's nothing Biblical about demanding to be pampered and worshipped. Nor is it Biblical to demand that your wife be pretty or beautiful. There's also nothing in the Bible about who should make more money or be the main provider, though I firmly believe that the natural, God-given traits of the sexes tend to give that role to the husband, as the woman is the partner who is able to conceive, be pregnant, bear children, nurse them, etc. And men are naturally bigger, stronger, and more capable of physical work. And most couples do end up having children at some point; not all, but most.

The particulars of marriage, and who takes on what role, really need to be left to the people involved in the marriage. It's nobody else's place or business to say all men or all women should do x-y-z. Happy, healthy, Biblical marriages can take on many forms. As long as both parties are living and loving in a godly fashion, that's all that matters.

 

[Paidiske]

The particulars of marriage, and who takes on what role, really need to be left to the people involved in the marriage. It's nobody else's place or business to say all men or all women should do x-y-z. Happy, healthy, Biblical marriages can take on many forms. As long as both parties are living and loving in a godly fashion, that's all that matters.

This is spot on.

A real, God honouring, Biblical marriage is one in which the gifts, vocations, personality and so on of each spouse are taken seriously and nurtured. Where the couple work together towards shared goals, in mutual submission.

And I'd add - after seventeen years of real life marriage - that things change over time. How it is in the beginning, might not be how it is ten or twenty years in. Things change, circumstances change, priorities change, life throws you curve balls. Be willing to be flexible and work together.

 

[trophy33]

What is a real, God honoring, Biblical marriage supposed to look like?

Go to biblehub.com and search for "marriage", "husband", "wife". There are quite many biblical places about it, so it would be long to copy them here. Filter it for the New Testament, only.

Basically, wives must submit to their husbands, husbands must not treat wives harshly, both must love each other. And its for life, no remarriage. No adultery.

Then there are some recommendations - for women to take care of household and to bear children, for single to stay single, for widows to marry again. But those are not commands.

Edit: and a woman, who calls herself "queen", is not a marriage material. She has some kind of narcissistic disorder, probably, and is looking for peasants, not for a family life.

 

[tturt]

As with many things, what society promotes is the opposite of what's in the Bible.

Scripture includes -
- beauty is vain Pro 31:31

-wives are help mates Gen 2:18, Pro 31
-a wise woman builds her house Pro 14:1
-wives with strength of character are better than jewels Pro 12:4
-wives are from the Lord when prudent Pro 19:14, Pro 31

..."teach children to have the fear of the Lord (Psa 34:11). Because
"Having the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, knowledge, instruction, and is the fountain of life (Pro 1:7, 9:10, 14:27)

 

[Gentle Lamb]

Oh my gosh... Thank you all so much for the Biblical reality check, seriously!!!! This really helps me with some Godly, down to earth, Biblical advice, and some of these comments are hilarious, the one about the peasants had me really laughing! Good one @myst33 ! I never thought about the kings/queens thing as fragile egos, but looking at it from that perspective makes sooo much sense!

I keep getting bombarded with this unGodly rhetoric that a wife must sit at home, look pretty, be pampered, and I've never seen anything like that in the Bible. Actually, yes I have, it was Jezebel, and she's the most evil wife in the whole Bible. I do not have any desire to be a witch like Jezebel. Sarah and Rachel were beautiful and yet they were hard workers. They were not pampered dolls sitting at home and getting manicures.

Thank you all again, I needed this input and I'm sure many others like myself do too! May God continue to redirect the focus of people like myself who are getting confused by what the world preaches about marriage vs. what His word says.

 

[Halbhh]

Oh my gosh... Thank you all so much for the Biblical reality check, seriously!!!! This really helps me with some Godly, down to earth, Biblical advice, and some of these comments are hilarious, the one about the peasants had me really laughing! Good one @myst33 ! I never thought about the kings/queens thing as fragile egos, but looking at it from that perspective makes sooo much sense!

I keep getting bombarded with this unGodly rhetoric that a wife must sit at home, look pretty, be pampered, and I've never seen anything like that in the Bible. Actually, yes I have, it was Jezebel, and she's the most evil wife in the whole Bible. I do not have any desire to be a witch like Jezebel. Sarah and Rachel were beautiful and yet they were hard workers. They were not pampered dolls sitting at home and getting manicures.

Thank you all again, I needed this input and I'm sure many others like myself do too! May God continue to redirect the focus of people like myself who are getting confused by what the world preaches about marriage vs. what His word says.

More:

30 Bible Verses About Marriage and Love Scripture Quotes

Read Bible verses about marriage and love that offer guidance and inspiration for husbands and wives. Find scripture quotes on marriage and it's God-given, ordained blessing.

www.biblestudytools.com

 

[Gentle Lamb]

This article ties in to the topic and is a good read. So timely!

Erasing Females: The Feminist Mystaque

Excerpt"

Note: This column is part of Scott Lively's series "30 Days of Pride-Month Push-Back."


"Every wise woman builds her house, but a foolish one tears it down with her own hands" (Proverbs 14:1).


Betty Friedan, author of "The Feminine Mystique" in 1963, was one of the most toxic women ever empowered by Marxist radicalism. She was co-founder of one of the bloodiest abortion-pushing entities in American history, the National Abortion Rights Action League (NARAL) and was cursed with a personality even her leftist allies at the New York Times characterized (in her obituary, no less) as "famously abrasive" … "thin-skinned and imperious, subject to screaming fits of temperament." But the most destructive part of her legacy was "Second Wave Feminism," which "The Feminine Mystique" was "credited" with triggering. Perhaps more than any other person, Friedan is responsible for weaponizing feminist grievances to poison women against home-based, family-centered lifestyles and transform them into aggressive workplace competitors with men, leveraging leftist power in the civil rights movement to achieve the cultural Marxist goal of "disintegration of … the monogamic and patriarchal family."


Continued in link:

The Feminist 'Mystaque'

Note: This column is part of Scott Lively's series "30 Days of Pride-Month Push-Back." "Every wise woman builds her house, but a foolish one tears it down with her own hands" (Proverbs 14:1). Betty Friedan, author of "The Feminine Mystique" in 1963, was one of the most toxic women ever empowered...

www.wnd.com

 

[trophy33]

I keep getting bombarded with this unGodly rhetoric that a wife must sit at home, look pretty, be pampered, and I've never seen anything like that in the Bible.

A wife can certainly be a stay-at-home wife/mom, but she should work hard around the house and around the family, then. Its certainly more biblical to work for your family than for some foreign management you do not even know and to be stressed in an industrial workplace, while you put your own children into the hands of government or strangers to take care of them and to teach them instead of you.

But its not a command, indeed. And just sitting at home, without working for your husband, children or parents, is not more biblical, either

 

[Gentle Lamb]

A wife can certainly be a stay-at-home wife/mom, but she should work hard around the house and around the family, then. Its certainly more biblical to work for your family than for some foreign management you do not even know and to be stressed in an industrial workplace, while you put your own children into the hands of government or strangers to take care of them and to teach them instead of you.

But its not a command, indeed. And just sitting at home, without working for your husband, children or parents, is not more biblical, either

No it's not, it's very anti Biblical actually. Yes, those are good points, especially with what the govt is doing to kids these days. I tell you, one thing I've really seen among young children in schools is that they really need their parents!!! Thanks for your input, much appreciated.

 

[SavedByGrace3]

I keep getting bombarded with this unGodly rhetoric that a wife must sit at home, look pretty, be pampered, and I've never seen anything like that in the Bible. Actually, yes I have, it was Jezebel, and she's the most evil wife in the whole Bible. I do not have any desire to be a witch like Jezebel. Sarah and Rachel were beautiful and yet they were hard workers. They were not pampered dolls sitting at home and getting manicures.

My mother, grandmothers, and aunts all did this.
I do not think of any of them as ungodly. There is nothing wrong with this lifestyle. I think some people go a little to far in condemning those women who do.

 

[Gentle Lamb]

My mother, grandmothers, and aunts all did this.
I do not think of any of them as ungodly. There is nothing wrong with this lifestyle. I think some people go a little to far in condemning those women who do.

Sorry, I didn't mean to condemn anyone, the main point, really is to figure out what does a biblical marriage look like in order to emulate a Godly wife. Society is so anti-Biblical marriage, it's unbelievable!!

 

[Diamond7]

What is a real, God honoring, Biblical marriage supposed to look like?

It is supposed to look like Jesus and His Bride. We are joint heirs with Christ. We rule and reign with him.

 

[mama2one]

I did become a sahm.
Paidiske is right that things can change.
I was just in hospital. Husband/kid were out of state. I let dog out & came inside & passed out. Neighbors noticed dog outside all day & someone called husband who got someone to check on me & they called ambulance. I just got a $40,000 bill from hospital! Luckily insurance is good & only have to pay $400.
So yes, I'm just hanging out at home as I have NO energy.

 

[Gentle Lamb]

I did become a sahm.
Paidiske is right that things can change.
I was just in hospital. Husband/kid were out of state. I let dog out & came inside & passed out. Neighbors noticed dog outside all day & someone called husband who got someone to check on me & they called ambulance. I just got a $40,000 bill from hospital! Luckily insurance is good & only have to pay $400.
So yes, I'm just hanging out at home as I have NO energy.

May God heal you and rebuild your strength @mama2one !!! I'm so happy that you are out of the hospital and only have to pay $400, thank God for that, God is good! Yes, life does bring a lot of changes doesn't it? We have to keep rolling with the punches.

 

[Diamond7]

Biblical marriage is one in which the gifts, vocations, personality and so on of each spouse are taken seriously and nurtured.

We are given our gifts, talents and abilities at conception. The husband and wife help each other to become the person God intended and created them to be.